Outtakes
by Kryalla Orchid
Summary: Outtakes from my 'Touch' series. Things that didn't appear, or different POV requested, or extras from either Touch, Masks, or Promise. Complete.
1. Peeking

_**Disclaimer**__ : Teen Titans are not mine, they belong to DC Comics and Warner Bros._

_**Broken Record moment**__: Aussie, spelling, slang, word usage is all different._

_**Author's Note**__: So, since I know it's going to be asked for, this little drabbly thing will be where I post all the outtakes from Touch, Masks and Promise. Possibly there will be more. Things I've been asked to expand on because they were mentioned in that universe._

_**Big Fat Warning**__: Could be anything. Rated M for that reason._

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><p><strong>Peeking. <strong>

_Starfire Age 18.  
><em>

_Set: Between Touch and Masks._

It started as an innocent question.

One would think, two girls, three guys, five pubescent teenagers in one little Tower, the opportunity to catch a glimpse of something we should not be looking at would be easy, yes?

At least that is what a reporter tried to insinuate during one of our media appearances.

"Any high jinks happening in the Tower?" he asked with a sly grin at Robin and I.

I was appalled. "Where is Jinx? And who is the perpetrator that placed her up high?" I grabbed Robin's arm. "She cannot fly, Robin, we must rescue her!"

Beast Boy snickered behind his hand while Raven just rolled her eyes.

Robin placed a restraining hand on my shoulder, scowling at the reporter. "It's slang. He means are we doing things we're not supposed to be doing."

I blinked at him. "Like what?"

"Frivolity in other people's rooms?" the reporter questioned.

I clasped my hands together. "Oh, yes. Raven and I are most frivolous when we wish to –eep!" I squeaked as that black band of power slapped itself across my mouth.

"He means boy girl stuff," Raven said dryly. "Specifically of a sexual nature. And it's not any of his business what we do in the privacy of our own rooms."

"Not very bright, is she?" the reporter remarked.

The look Beast Boy has named the 'Batman glare' appeared on Robin's face. "I'd love to dump you in the _tekadora_ swamps on Tamaran and see how you fare with her culture. Lack of knowledge regarding slang and American culture does not equate to lack of intelligence."

As thankful as I was for his defence, I was embarrassed and half hid behind Robin, refusing to say anything else for the duration of the interview.

When we returned to the Tower after the interview was done, I hid in my room. I dislike being reminded I am not of this world, I regard Earth as my home, and it pains me to think people do not believe I belong.

Raven knocked first, offering me the sympathies and calling the reporter an idiot and promising bad dreams for a week. I was grateful for her protectiveness in her own way, but refused to come out to visit the mall.

Beast Boy and Cyborg tried next, asking if I wanted to play a game of stank ball or perhaps would like to join them in the racing of cars on the computer console. Which I tactfully refused, wishing to be alone.

Robin… he told me not to worry about them. That he liked me just the way I was and if they couldn't understand how different I was then that was their loss.

It must be embarrassing for him to have someone on his team that does not understand the intricacies of human nature. Especially when said team member was his new girlfriend.

I should go to him and offer the apologies for being so idiotic about his culture. Even if it was late and I had been wallowing in my room for so long it was nearing midnight.

I was not quite sure what I was going to do, or say when I reached Robin's room. Or even if I would have the courage to knock on his door. Certainly, if it seemed like he was sleeping, I would not bother him, at least, that is why I told myself.

There was a light on in his room. I could its shine from beneath the door. Beside lamp, most likely, since it was not at all bright.

I hesitated. Scratched the back of my leg with my foot. Shifted my weight. Hugged my arms to myself, then lifted a hand and knocked on his door.

No answer.

Odd, so I punched in the code to his room. Perhaps he had fallen asleep at his desk again and I should make sure he got to bed.

He was asleep, but not at his desk.

No… my wonderful boyfriend was asleep in his bed, with the lamp on. Unclothed, his blanket draped across his hips, but I could tell from the way it stopped and revealed the skin of his upper thigh he wore nothing underneath.

_Naked_.

One arm crooked so his head rested on his hand, while his other hand rested on those gloriously defined stomach muscles of his. His mouth was open slightly and he was snoring.

And _unmasked_.

I took several rapid steps into the room before I knew what I was doing. His eyes. Eyes. He had eyebrows, human and black, they made him look less serious. Lines around the edges of his eyes, the laughter lines, or stress lines, I could not be sure. One of the lids had a small scar across it and I resisted the urge to run my finger tips across the scar. Oh, I wondered what shade of blue they were.

As if drawn, my eyes drifted downward. So strong, so handsome. All mine, if he ever chose to share it with me.

I had seen him without a shirt before, but never looking at him with the eyes of the girlfriend. Never really thinking when I ran my hands across his chest, _that_ was what I was running my hands over. The soft little curls of hair which grew atop such defined muscles, that strange line of hair down the middle of his stomach which disappeared below the blanket. I would imagine that chest the next time we had a make out session and know what I was running my hands over.

Oh, I knew what existed below that blanket. Felt the hardness grow during our make out sessions. But… I still wondered.

I had seen many Tamaranian ones, of course. My brother's, my father's. Clothing is optional in one's own home. Not to mention the many hand to hand combat tournaments I enduring watching as Princess of the Realm, most warriors were naked for those.

But I had never seen a human one.

I wondered if he would mind.

Yes. He possibly would. Humans did not like to be exposed. Robin had said that. They do not like to appear naked in public. They do not like to share the appearance of their bodies as Tamaranians do.

Except we were not in public.

Robin slept naked.

Oh… I thought I was the only one that felt the need to be free from clothes when I slept.

And still, I wondered about what lay beneath that blanket.

I knew if I touched him, he would wake, he sleeps so lightly. It was astounding that he had not woken by my knock or my entrance into his private sanctum.

Undecided, I shifted my weight from foot to foot.

Robin moaned and moved, his head rolling off his hand and his feet shifting position on the bed. The blanket was kicked away from his hips.

I squeaked and covered my mouth. Oh, I never expected, never imagined.

How would such a monster even fit? And this in its flaccid state.

Nestled in among the dark curls at the end of that trail of hair down his stomach, such a glorious sight. It appeared soft, innocently lying there, but I knew it would grow and poke and…

He only had one ejaculation point. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I leant in for closer inspection.

On Tamaran, he would certainly be deformed, two ejaculation points necessary for procreation and breaching membranes, but humans… I have read they only have one, which they use for both urinating and ejaculation. The lack of a dual point certainly made Robin's seem more… smooth and streamline. Friendlier.

I am certain Robin would not wish to know my first thought about his hidden delight was how friendly it appeared.

The head was very mushroom like, rather than the sharp spear akin appearance the Tamaranian males were so proud of. Its general welcoming appearance made me wish to stroke it to see how it reacted to my touch.

But I could not, this was an invasion of privacy. I should not be here, peeking on Robin like this, he would be most angry.

Even though I knew under the same circumstances, he would be peeking on me.

Curiosity is only natural, after all. _X'hal_ knows I have placed myself in as many compromising positions as I could lately, an offer he has not taken. The mask continues to hinder us.

Robin mumbled again and I bolted from the room.

I hit the opposite wall with a thump, the door sliding closed behind me and I stood there panting for a moment, my fingers stroking the wall as they could not have stroked Robin.

I should have returned to my room right then, but I was still dazzled by what I had seen. I certainly did not expect the door to slide open behind me.

"Star? Is that you?"

"Um… yes?" I squeaked, closing my eyes in case he had not dressed. "I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you."

"Done beating yourself up?" he asked and I peeked at him. His mask was fixed on his face again and he wore undergarments. A white beater and a pair of red silken shorts of the boxer. He did not know. He was not aware that I had just been in his room. "Really, I wouldn't worry about the reporter, God knows I've made some incredible fumbles with them too. He was baiting you."

"He was?"

"Of course he was. 'High jinks'? Who says that anymore? That has to be the most obscure and easily misinterpreted slang I know."

"Oh. Well… I apologise for interrupting your sleep cycle. I should go."

He smiled. "You don't have to. I had intended to come see you before lights out. I still haven't had my goodnight kiss."

Oh, _X'hal_, I could not kiss him now, not knowing what lay beneath those inadequate clothes. Stalling, I asked, "You were… tired?"

He reddened ever so slightly and shifted so his body was covering more of his room. "Yeah."

I frowned, wondering why he would be trying to hide his room. I saw nothing amiss, other than the box of tissues beside his bed was absent. But then his arms were around me, his sweet breath against my face and his warm lips drew me in for the goodnight kiss and it no longer mattered.


	2. Peeking II

**Peeking II. **

_Dick Age 18._

_Set: Between chapter 17 and 18 of Masks. After Jason's death, when Starfire goes to sleep naked in the solarium._

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><p>Alfred tried to warn me. He really did, his fumbles and blushes (when did Alfred ever blush?) when he explained that Starfire was awake and had journeyed to the solarium to recharge.<p>

I didn't really hear him well beyond the fact that she was awake and recharging. The guilt settled in, I should have been beside her when she woke, I should've remembered that she needed sunlight, especially after releasing all that energy. I'd been so lost in grief and guilt I hadn't remembered, and that gave more guilt.

So, I completely wasn't expecting her to be stark naked and asleep on the floor.

That would explain the blush.

Mine too, I could feel the heat creeping over my face. I almost turned around to leave her alone when Alfred said, "She asked for you."

"Yes, but—"

"Naked or not, she asked for you. It would be a disservice to her were you not there when she awoke this time."

Spanking with words. Alfred's so good at that.

"I shall ensure Master Bruce does not enter."

"Um… thanks."

I crept into the room, my eyes stuck squarely on her face. It wasn't right to perv on her when she was injured. It wasn't right.

Adhesive patches on her face, a long one covering that cut to her cheek from the brass knuckles the dead bastard struck her with. Her cheeks were tear streaked, her eyes still had tears pooled beneath the lashes. Oh, Star.

Her hair pooled around her head like liquid silk as I eased myself down on the carpet beside her. I sat with my back to a chair for support. Close to her, but not too close. I didn't feel deserving enough to be sitting too close.

Her poor hands were bandaged. Burns from what Alfred had said, probably from when she'd channelled so much energy at once.

My sight travelled up the orange skin of her arms, noting all the bruises she had, until they reached her face again and stayed there. Wasn't right. Wasn't right to look. I'd never even seen her without a bra or a bikini on before, and here she was, completely naked and I wasn't looking. She's injured. Damaged. My brother was dead. I wasn't going to be a stupid hormonal teenager and perv on her while she's sleeping. Wasn't.

Oh, I was so looking.

Stupid, depraved, sexually repressed teenage hormones.

God, there's a bruise across her ribs, just under her left breast. It stretched across until it disappeared around the curve of her body and onto her back.

There's a boot print on her hip.

Fuck.

And yet, she's still beautiful. Her chest is slowly rising and falling as she breathed. Her stomach tight and softly defined with muscle. Her breasts are everything I imagined they'd be, so beautiful and perfect. I already knew how well they fitted into the palm of my hand.

Wow… her carpet matched her drapes… GOD! Dick! Stop it. Stop looking. I groaned and covered my eyes, tilted back my head until it rested against the chair.

So conflicted. I wanted to look because she was damaged and I needed to see if she was okay, but, I also wanted to look because she was my girlfriend and I loved and desired her in ways she wouldn't understand.

Or probably would, because of that particular conversation… don't go there. Not now. Not right.

She whimpered in her sleep, crying out a little and I automatically placed my hand against her shoulder. "Shh."

She soothed immediately, her face turning toward my hand. Of course. Touch. She's Tamaranian, of course that'd help her.

About time I did something to help her instead of thinking about myself. But, there really wasn't a lot I could do without feeling like I was a dirty, disgusting person, taking advantage.

She asked for me. Surely she wouldn't mind if I just curled up next to her… just for a little while. Just until she's sleeping better.

Slowly, I eased the arm closest to me up, and over her stomach so I could lie down next to her without squashing her arm and then stretched out beside her, ignoring the pull of the bullet wounds. I carefully propped my head up on my left arm and tentatively placed my right hand on her stomach.

Starfire let out a soft sigh and shifted, moving closer to me.

I rubbed her belly, trying to soothe. It seemed to help, Starfire relaxing completely. "I'm so sorry," I whispered and pressed my lips to her temple. "Sorry that you got tangled up in all of this."

I kept rubbing my hand across her skin. And the teenage, hormonal boy, desperate to be held and loved and _anything_ that could take my mind of Jason's death awoke in me. My hand cupped her bare breast as I buried my face in her neck, and then forced myself to look at my hand. Watching as I trailed my fingers around her areola, felt her skin against my hand, felt its weight and softness. So perfect and perky. Watching myself break down boundaries without her knowing about it.

I was caught, trapped in a cage of my own making, unable to release her, hating myself for what I was taking. She was my girlfriend, though, and she had kind of offered before and it's not like I'd never touched her breast, they'd just not been bare… there was nothing that could justify what I was doing. What I couldn't stop myself from doing.

She was so beautiful.

I wonder what she tasted like.

Just touching her like this was enough to—

Shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be taking comfort in her when she doesn't even know. _Wrongwrongwrong._

I blinked back tears of shame, rose away from her with force and almost fled the room. Only the fact that she asked for me kept me there. Needed to be alone. Needed to be with her.

Needed not to be tempted again as I spied a blanket resting on one of the chairs. She still needed sunlight though.

It was a special sort of torture for me as I paced the room until the sun went down, looking and watching her and berating myself for betraying her like I was, but unable to keep my eyes from her form.

Once the sun had dipped below the horizon, I covered her up, removed the temptation.

God, I wasn't going to be able to touch her again without knowing what I'd just done.

I flopped down on a sofa above her head, covered myself with a blanket and closed my eyes, hoping for sleep.

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><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Cause there's not a woman alive with a man that sleeps in her bed that hasn't woken up with a hand on her boob at one point._


	3. Trapped

**Trapped. **

_Dick Age 18._

_Set: Chapter 4 Touch. Requested by La Belle Rose Noire.  
><em>

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><p>I'm the first to admit I like to touch. I think that's because I've grown so used to it, especially being around Starfire, she practically oozes it. I enjoy it, platonic, brotherly, affectionate. I think it had a lot to do with growing up as an acrobat, you're required to do it then. Folding your body around theirs, bits brush together even if you don't mean it, you can't be squeamish about it. On the trapeze, you grab their legs, their arms, their ankles, hips and hands, they climb up you to get to the rope, you climb up them. You can't not touch.<p>

In the parades we used to do through the town before the show, or even the little acrobatics Mom, Dad and I used to perform before the trapeze, we were always touching. I'd be somersaulting through the air, thrown by Dad so I could land on Mom's shoulders. She'd lift her arms above her head and I'd clasp her hands and go into a hand stand.

Everything was about physical contact.

It was a shock to me when I first lived with Bruce. I was so used to getting hugs and kisses from my parents, hugs from the other ladies at the circus, hands on help when I tried an acrobatic move or on that trapeze, the circus is all about family. Bruce, he _never_ touches. The most he'll do is a hand to the shoulder. I had to rein it in. No touches.

Alfred doesn't touch. He falls behind the employee restriction and his self imposed distance. But I remember when I first came to live in the Manor, there were times when he'd hug me, or sit beside me and let me snuggle him as he read me a story. Bruce and I would play basketball and it's perfectly acceptable to become a little physical then. I had to restrain my need for human contact for those moments.

Or until Kid Flash (Wally) and Flash came to visit. Kid Flash was my age, we were good friends. We could do all the sorts of things friends do. Fishing, hiking, mock wrestling, basketball, football. He's rather physical too, liked to plant an elbow on my shoulder as we talked. He asked me to teach him some gymnastics too, to pull the ladies, you have to touch for that. It's not sexual though, never sexual. He's my best friend.

Then, of course, coming to the Tower it was such a relief to find people who enjoyed it, revelled in it as much as I did.

Cyborg. He's not touchy feely. He's not. But he is affectionate, slaps to the back and nudges to the shoulder. We could rib and wrestle each other and have fun. He's still rather physical, it just tends to be toward the sporty kind.

Beast Boy. Now, he is affectionate, overly almost. Especially when he's in animal form. He doesn't mind so much when you treat him like a dog on occasion, throwing Frisbees and rubbing his head when he brings it back. He doesn't mind if you pick him up while he's sleeping in cat form and give him at pat. He doesn't mind draping himself over Cyborg's shoulder when he's in human form, or wrestling with me for the controller.

Raven, I wouldn't touch her. Not really. I mean, sure, I've held her hand, caught her when she fell. I've had my share of the rare Raven hugs. But you can just see the various ways she's plotting to dispose of my corpse if I get too physical with her.

Starfire. Wow. I have never… there's never been a girl that just invited touch as much as she does. She breathes contact. It's never sexual, hell, it's not even close to being affectionate touch by human standards, but she loves the contact. Skin to skin. I took a while to open up to her form of touch, after all, she's a girl, she's an alien, there were cultural ramifications, I didn't know if it was acceptable, and I was leader and had to set an example.

The more we became friends, the longer we had to become comfortable with each other and close, the more the touching became more intimate. We never did any of the sexual stuff, or the blatant touching like holding hands or snuggling, it was just little brushes. Skin contact. Platonic areas. Arms and knees. Shoulders pressed together as we're watching TV. That sort of thing.

My time with Batman has rubbed off on me too. I am fully aware of that. I am. I can be broody and dark and single minded in my determination to find a criminal. I can become overly focussed and angry if things don't go my way. I am very adept at pushing people away.

There's a line that cannot be crossed. Starfire's my teammate, my best friend. She's not my girlfriend. I can't date a teammate. I can't date, period. What we do is important. There's no time for relationships that aren't focused on team building and trust. There's no time for intimacy, not when someone's life could be compromised because I'm worried about her.

As much as I might want to, I can't date her. I have plans. There'll become a time when I have to leave the Titans. At eighteen, I'm neck deep in College courses preparing for that day. Bludhaven waited for me, I'd wanted to do that for years. I don't have time for romance, no matter how much I want to. Always better to believe it will be easier leaving the Titans, and Starfire, if there's no intimate relationship there.

While I was good at showing my feelings through touch and action, sort of anyway, I was absolutely hopeless at expressing them. I mean, really, "Starfire...I think...uh...it's...awesome...the way...you shoot starbolts." So very suave and sophisticated. But she was satisfied with that. It was really all I could give her, I couldn't give her myself.

There are times I'm so very close to kissing her. I am. She's beautiful, sexy, fun and happy. She's open about everything. She listens to me, she gets me, she understands in ways not many people do. But Tamaranians don't kiss, she's probably have no idea what it was beyond the transfer of languages. And I can't ask her either, she'd just start thinking about it and then probably ask me for one. There's no going back from that.

So, I had to be content with the Tamaranian way of showing affection. Touching. Smiles. Laughter. Had to be content that she never asked me for more than what I gave. I'm not even sure if it occurred to her to ask, but I was grateful she hadn't. That would mean confronting something I was not prepared to think about and our entire relationship would change. I couldn't tell if it would be a good change or a bad change, so I was adamant that I didn't want it to change.

Then I crossed that barrier between what was a friend and what was a boyfriend.

And I didn't even realise I crossed it.

I guess it really started with a walk in the park, although if you ask Starfire, she'll probably say it started sooner than that. I'd been across that barrier for a while most like, but I never realised. There are some things my mind won't notice because it means I'll have to face emotions or face facts, or confront something. Self preservation technique.

Starfire'd been melancholy all day, I wasn't sure why. But when she's sad, a fierce protectiveness rises in me and I have to do everything I can to help her be happy again. A trip to the park seemed like a good idea at the time, although, if I'd known how the day had gone, I would have told us to stay indoors.

I'm always hyper aware of my friends and their position in relation to mine. It's one of those things that had been drilled into me, forced into my awareness until it's now second nature and I do it automatically. Cyborg was cooking. Raven was reading. Beast Boy and I were playing Frisbee and Starfire was sitting in a patch of sunlight, her eyes watching people in the park.

So went Starfire stood to go for a walk, of course I went with her.

Today, however, it seemed to be couple fest in the park. So many couples around, kissing on blankest, kissing beside the water in the lake, walking around holding hands or cuddling. Should have been another sign, but did I mention how dense I am at times?

Starfire sighed.

Enough, I needed to know why she was so sad. "Star, what's wrong?"

"Sometimes I wonder," Starfire murmured, "what it must be like for them."

"For who?" I frowned as I followed her gaze to a couple lying in the shade of a tree, kissing contently. "Oh." My hand fell to my side. Point of interest, until that moment, I hadn't even realised I'd put it on her back.

"It must be nice to be normal."

"No one's really normal, Star."

"Humans long for companionship, do they not? To find that special someone to hold and kiss in the shade of a tree?"

Oh, crap. Don't do this to me. I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Yeah, I guess."

She stopped, turning to face me. "Do you ever long for it?"

Double crap. I swallowed. Really, this was the one thing I was afraid of. That Starfire would someday realise what we had between us and would force the issue. Then I'd probably lose her as a best friend. "Sometimes." Gotta get out of here. Can't stay. "We should head back. Cyborg's probably got lunch ready by now." I spun on my heel and started walking back the way we came.

"Robin, do you ever long for it with me?"

It took all my self control not to react then. "I like the way things are." Starfire, you're my best friend. That's all we can ever be. Please understand that, don't force this, I don't want to hurt you.

"Robin—"

My alarm bleated and I was grateful for the interruption. I stopped and grabbed it. Cyborg appeared in the screen, obviously frantic and upset. "Cyborg?"

"My car!" Cyborg wailed. "He's stolen my baby!"

Starfire was suddenly at my side. "Who has?"

"Overload! Dude! He's got my car!"

I turned and began to sprint back the way we came. "Get after him," I ordered. "We'll catch you up."

I had fully intended just to run back there, but Starfire had other plans. I was plucked from the ground and lifted skyward. Some distance away, I saw Raven lift into the air, Cyborg being held by Beast Boy in pterodactyl form. They headed in the opposite direction.

As much as I didn't mind Starfire carrying me, today it wouldn't be appropriate. "R-Cycle, Star."

She obeyed instantly, heading toward the parking lot and illustrating another reason why we couldn't date. I couldn't have her questioning things in the heat of battle. She planted me directly on the bike, lifting skyward again as I jammed on my helmet and started the bike.

"This way!"

I nodded and pointed two fingers in that direction, silently asking for her to show me the way.

Best laid plans of mice and men. I don't think any of us expected what was going to happen. Least of all Starfire and me.

The T-car is Cyborg's baby. Of course we were going to do everything we could to recover it, preferably without damage. So really, we were all here to provide backup while Cyborg did his thing and kicked Overload to the curb. We were bait. Another target for the heat seeking missiles that Overload had activated.

We raced along Gorge Road, the winding cliffside path that led into the mountains on the outskirts of Jump. Starfire was too close to the cliff wall, she hadn't given herself much room to manoeuvre and it looked as though she was unwilling to leave my side. My bike's anti missile defences are pretty amazing and already in full swing, so, naturally, I pulled her onto the bike with me.

Neither of us expected the missile to land in the path of my bike with little chance of me stopping. Neither of us expected to be thrown with such force I was pretty sure I fractured something. Neither of us expected another missile to hit the mountainside and for it to tumble down around us.

Starfire, bless her, reacted quicker than I could. She grabbed me and hoisted, rolling us toward the face of the mountain above us. I don't know why she didn't just throw us both over the edge, but there probably wasn't time for that. Then she was above me and braced and calling a starbolt and the mountain tumbled down.

It's an awful, awful moment to watch those rocks tumble toward us and _know_ that they're going to hit her first. It's even worse to know there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Starfire was strong, tough, she could most likely survive a rockslide. Me on the other hand, squished Robin.

She cried out as the first rock hit and dropped toward me, but she took the second one's weight. And then next, and the next and then there's nothing but Starfire and green and dust and then the green's gone and something's whacking me on the head and there's nothing at all.

…

Something's nudging me. Starfire. I can hear her voice from a great distance. Fuck, my head hurts, my arm hurts, there's something on my boot. There was a grating sound, shifting rock, more pebbles tumbling down on us.

There was a thick blanket of dust in my throat and I had to cough to clear it. I moved, shuffled, my hands brushed against something soft as I opened my eyes. Not that opening my eyes was much better, I still couldn't see anything.

"Robin?"

She sounded scared. "Star? You okay?" Was she hurt? Stuck? My hands dove to my belt, it had managed to get a little twisted so I had to fumble for the right compartment. I broke the light stick and tossed it up so it was beside my head. So much hair, it was everywhere, all over my face, I couldn't see. I scooped at it, tucking it away so I could see her. "You okay?"

"Yes."

"You're bleeding." There was a cut on her temple, blood trickled down and dripped toward me. I inched my stuck boot out from beneath the rock, glad it hadn't been crushed, wow, I was so fucking lucky then. I crawled along on my back, inching upward so we were face to face and I could see her face properly. I took her chin gently, angling it so I could see her cut better.

Her eyes fixed on my shoulder. "As are you."

That would explain the pain in my shoulder. But that could wait. Head wounds bleed more, and she was dripping on me, not good. "It's fine," I said, reaching for my little first aid kit. I smiled for her as I opened an alcohol swab to clean the blood. "Quick thinking."

She sighed and winced at the same time. "Except now we are trapped. If I had time, I would have made it so we were standing."

"Better trapped than dead," I said, applying a patch to her cut. "Can you lift it?"

She looked really uncertain then, I wondered how much weight she was actually taking. "Possibly. Should I risk it?"

Interesting question. If it was one piece of rock, I would have said yes. But under closer inspection, there were several boulders she was braced against, I could see the rock indenting in her skin, although it hadn't broken through. "No. Looks like you've got two or three different pieces of rock there." I tossed the stick back up, and reached for my communicator, activating the emergency beacon. "Best to wait for the others. Can you hold it?"

She nodded and offered me a brave smile. "I will not fail."

"Good girl."

"Man, you okay?" Cyborg's voice asked.

I answered. "Yeah. We got caught in a rockslide."

"We?"

"Me and Star. She's holding it up. I can't see a way out right now. We need help."

"I'm setting up a blockade for Overload," Raven said, "Then I'll come get you. Is there enough room for a portal?"

I wasn't quite sure how much room she'd need for one, things were pretty cramped in here. Starfire shook her head.

"Probably not," I said. "Even if you opened one, we can't really move to get through it."

"I'll give it a try anyway; otherwise, I'll lift the rocks off."

"Careful," Beast Boy told us. "I'm up on the mountain now, looks like the rock's not stable yet."

"We're not going to try and force our way free, Star hasn't got the leverage for that. Stop Overload first, we don't want anyone else getting hurt. Just hurry."

"Star, you good?" Cyborg asked.

"It is very heavy," she said, and I could hear the strain in her voice. "Please hurry."

"Dude, want me to start moving rocks?" Beast Boy asked.

"Wait for Raven," I instructed. "Just in case it moves again."

"Hang in there," Cyborg said. "We'll get you."

I closed the communicator, concerned about Starfire. My hands went for my belt. "We'll just have to wait it out. I might be able to brace it up a bit with my sticks, take some of the weight—" There was a low rumble and I saw some of the rocks behind Starfire shift.

I reacted. Even though I'm human, my hands shot out as if my strength could somehow brace us against the weight of the rock.

Except my hands landed square on Starfire's breasts. Straight on there, one hand for each.

Completely hadn't been expecting that. The shock of where my hands were surprised Starfire so much that the rock shifted and she was forced flush against me, my hands trapped beneath us. We were squished together so tightly it was difficult breathe, let alone squirm loose.

My hands. Starfire's breasts. "Oh. Shit."

Starfire's nose bumped against my cheek. "My apologies."

Boobs. Soft. Right there. In my hands. This is so not how I imagined it would happen. "Damn, damn, damn."

"Do not panic."

Gotta get free, need to move, they're so damn soft but I can't move. "I'm stuck."

"As am I. Are you okay?"

I wriggled, shifting my back, breathing out, moving from side to side. This was bad. So bad. And yet nice at the same time. But _bad_. "Nothing broken, I'm just… stuck."

"Um, Robin?"

There had to be more space someplace. I looked around, I just needed a little. I couldn't imagine, didn't want to think about, what would happen if I was forced to stay like this for long, already I could feel myself reacting to her. My sight fell on the communicator. "Damn it, the communicators busted. It's going to make them harder to find us. Can you reach yours?"

"I cannot move."

"Damn it."

"Robin," Starfire snapped.

I needed an escape, whatever was troubling her could wait, "What?"

"Would you mind not flexing your hands?"

Oh. _Oh_. Fuck me. I forced them still. I couldn't believe I'd been feeling her up. We were stuck and I'd been taking advantage of that and having a good grope. "God, Star, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Please, just remain still. Our friends should rescue us soon."

We were so close. So close. I could feel her breath against my face, her completely kissable lips quivering. Every breath pushed her breasts against my hands. Bad, bad thoughts about how nice this was, how natural it could be to be pressed against her like this if I let myself.

Except that we were trapped beneath a ton of rock and this was completely against her will. Damn you, body, you're not supposed to be enjoying this.

"The rocks seem to have settled," Starfire murmured.

Well, that was something at least. "Good, we just have to hang on."

Starfire sighed. "This is most uncomfortable."

"You're telling me." I hesitated. "Can you, like, breath out or something? If we did it at the same time, I might be able to wiggle my hands free."

"I am already having difficulties breathing. I am trying not to do much and am doing my best to keep my weight off you. We could try."

"Okay, at three, breathe out. One, two, three."

I breathed out, forced as much out as I could, wriggling and twisting my hands. Poor Starfire mashed up her face, this had to be hard for her. I tried to be as quick as possible, but the moment my arms began to move, they hit rock at our side. There was just nowhere to go. And I'd successfully managed to force Starfire's breasts closer together, giving myself a lovely view of cleavage. I was so going to recall that image and the feel of her breasts in a private moment. Much later, not now. Not now, stupid body.

The fates were against me today.

"Yeah, that's not going to work," I said. "Too much rock at my sides to get them free, nowhere to go. Sorry."

"It was worth the try."

"Well, we're lucky you're so soft." So very soft.

"Pardon?"

Oh shit. That was out loud. I needed to engage my brain to mouth filter. "Ahh… nothing. Sorry."

She dipped into silence. I was glad, there really wasn't anything to say. Not really.

Then she started making these little shifts. Tiny movements. Hunching her shoulders. Shifting her hands. Wriggling her hips. It would be fine under normal circumstances. It would.

Except that my stupid, hormone driven body was already reacting to her proximity. My hands were on her so very soft and scrumptious breasts. And her wriggling hips were making her upper thigh, so warm, brush against the part of me standing to attention.

And she kept fucking going. Little movements. Shift and twitch and damn that felt so good. I closed my eyes, trying to contain myself and not being able to.

"There is a rock pressing against my leg."

Oh… fuck… she could feel it. Here I was being all dirty and letting her do it, thinking I was safe and she could feel it. "…"

She twitched again, more focused on her thigh now, the largest movement she'd made so far. Me coming against her would be so not good right now. She needed to stop while I still had a chance of backing it down. "Yeeeeeah… that's not a rock."

Okay, why was she trying harder to see it? Why was she twitching and looking? I panted lightly, every sense heighted, it felt so good and so wrong and it was Starfire and I was not supposed to let myself see her that way. At least, not when she was around.

"Could you, ahh, not move? Making it worse here." She froze and I let out a sigh of relief. Now I just had to concentrate and let the throbbing die down. "Thanks."

"Is that you?" she breathed. Why did she sound so excited about that?

I went red, I couldn't help it. "Yes, sorry." I turned away she wouldn't see my shame at reacting like that. "It's just a reaction, 'cause we're so close. Doesn't mean anything."

"Oh." A tiny, heartsore noise.

"Stupid of me, really, getting stuck like this," I muttered.

"I shall see if I can move."

What? Move? Stay there! I was just getting calm again. "Rubbing is not helpful. Just don't move."

"I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable, since it is unpleasant for you to be with me like this."

Her world filtered in to my brain. Unpleasant? What was she on? Didn't she realise it was exactly the opposite? "What?"

"You called yourself stupid for getting stuck here with me."

What? How could she possibly… "No, Star… I just meant, my hands, stuck… there… it's…"

"I am not as naive as you seem to think I am. I know exactly what this—" She moved her leg again and I gasped in response. I couldn't help it. "—is for and why you are having it, even if you claim it does not mean anything."

"It's just a reaction." Please, Star, let it go.

"Then it must be truly unpleasant for you to be caught like this, pressed against me as you are."

Why would she think that? "It's not unpleasant. It's just… it's you."

"So, you wish to be having this sort of reaction for someone else?"

Why did she have to do this now? There was nowhere I could go to hide. Nowhere to run. Nothing I could do to stop it. Except maybe getting cross with her. Did I mention not all my blood was in my brain? "God, Star, stop it. This is not the time or place."

"It never is."

"What do you want from me?"

"The truth," she insisted. "You never give me that. Robin, I need to know."

I ignored her. Not the time and place and I certainly wasn't going to give her the truth. What could I say? Starfire, I've had a crush on you since I first met you, but we can never be together.

She didn't seem to like my silence. "Robin?"

Denial. Only thing left now. "We are not having this conversation."

"Well, then, let us speak of something different," Starfire responded immediately, going into a little bit of a tirade. "Perhaps you would like me to recite the Poem of Endurance, there are seventy hundred and seventy seven stanza—"

"Fine," I ground out, exasperated. Anything to stop a Tamaranian poem recital. "What do you need to know?"

"What did you mean by you like the way things are?"

"Exactly that. I like the way they are. You're my best friend. I don't want to change anything." Can't change anything. Too much at stake. Please, why can't you see that?

"Oh."

"Starfire, this really isn't the best place. You need to concentrate." I used her full name, hoping to remind her I was the leader of the Titans. There were times she needed to obey.

Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffed.

"Oh, Star, no."

She turned away. I'd hurt her. I had. I knew she wanted to be more. She's not exactly subtle about it, for all my attempts to remain oblivious. But I couldn't give her more. I couldn't. I shifted, moved my head up so I could press our cheeks together. The words came out in a rush, a too late attempt to make her feel better, to offer her something. "No, Star, don't cry, please. I care for you. I care more than I should. But I can't be any more than that."

"Why not?"

"Because, you're my teammate. I'm your leader. I can't afford to put your needs over the others. I need to know you will act to my order without question. I need to know I can order you to do anything and it will be done. If we dated, we'd lose that certainty. I know how closely your powers are tied into your emotions. I couldn't bear if it we argued and you couldn't fly and got hurt. You'd be a distraction I can't afford."

"But what if—"

"I can't date anyone. What we do is too important. No distractions."

"But Beast Boy and Raven—"

"Aren't the leader. I am." And it hurts me to hurt her like this, she needed to understand. I had to. I did. Didn't I?

There was something wet against my face. "Please, Robin."

"Don't ask me this. I can't give you this." I'd give you anything else, Star, anything else you wanted, but I can't give you myself.

"You will not kiss me?"

She wanted a kiss. She wanted human affection, why would she want human affection? Why wasn't the relationship we had good enough?

I couldn't kiss her. That'd mean I'd have to face everything, admit my feelings for her, being scared for her in battle, more so than I was already, defying Bruce by dating a team mate. Putting my future in Bludhaven on the line. I couldn't just continue to be her best friend and nothing more if I kissed her. "No. No, I won't."

The look in her eyes shifted. For a moment, it looked like she'd throw all caution to the wind and just take what she wanted. And I knew, if she did that, I'd let her. I'd give her all the kisses she wanted and more. "Please don't."

The intensity in her eyes disappeared behind tears and she broke the lock she had over my body. I lifted my head so I could press our cheeks together. "I'm sorry." I wanted to take everything back, admit everything to her. I didn't want her to cry.

But I couldn't. There were other things at stake. Bigger than me, bigger than her. This, this was just puppy love. We could rise above it. It wasn't serious. Starfire and I, we'd never really work as a couple, not like we worked as best friends. I wanted Starfire as a best friend, I needed her as that. Screw my heart. I was a hero.

Except that my chest was so tight now, aching so badly I thought my heart was going to burst through my ribcage and ram into Starfire's.

Starfire was shaking. Trembling. I'd hurt her too much. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I should have realised that one day it would.

"Robin," she said, her voice falsely brave. "I do not know how much longer I can brace here. I am scared for what might happen if I fail."

I was quick to reassure. She couldn't fail now, not because of me. "It's okay. It's okay, we'll be fine. The rocks not moving, Raven'll be here soon. You're doing great."

There was a little rumble and Starfire cried out. I wasn't sure why but it sounded like she was in pain. "Star?"

"Starfire? Robin?"

Oh, thank god. I turned my head so I wouldn't burst Starfire's eardrum. "Raven! We're stuck. Hurry!"

"Hang on," she called.

I went back to trying to reassure Starfire. She was being so strong, so amazing. "See, Raven's here. Just hold on, Star."

"Cyborg's got Overload," Raven called as she strained to move more rocks. "He'll be back in a minute to help. Should have you out by then."

Starfire moved, pushed against the rock, lifting away from me and I was able to free my hands. I shook them, getting the blood circulating again, before I placed them against her face. "Are you okay?"

Stupid thing to ask, really. She turned away. "Please do not ask me that."

Something slithered, then squirmed up between us. We jumped but it was only Beast Boy in snake form. He blinked at both of us, flicked out his tongue and slipped through some cracks in the rocks. "Little to the left, Raven. They're okay."

Starfire waited, bided her time, judging the rock above us. Finally she groaned and forced herself though the rock. Black energy coated rocks, pulling them away even further.

When the last rock was pulled away from us, dust clinging to the air, I knelt before Starfire as she slumped, looking at the ground. I hated the tear streaks on her face. I hated that I was the one that did this to her, but there was no other way. I unclipped my cape, draping it around her shoulders, hoping it would offer comfort when I couldn't. I touched her chin, drew her gaze to mine, then kissed her forehead. I'm sorry, I wanted to say. Forgive me, I wanted to plead, but I didn't. "Raven, stay there with he. I'll go find my bike."

"Dude, are you alright?" Beast Boy asked.

I locked gaze with him, then turned away. "Yup," I lied. "Did you see where my bike went?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Not doing all of Touch, but I may just do the closet scene.  
><em>


	4. Gym

**Gym**

_Dick Age 18_

_Touch Chapters 12-13_

_Sooooo many people asked for this. Wow. Let's see: __Katergator, __Peach Tuesday's, La Belle Rose Noire, Anonymous, Akiza1, HD... did I miss anyone? Geez, this better meet the hype.  
><em>

* * *

><p>I ran a hand through my hair. What was I going to do? What could I do? Starfire was flat out refusing to touch me in any form and I never realised how dependant I was on that to keep me calm. How much it was hurting that she'd taken contact from me. When it first started, I couldn't fathom what she hoped to gain by it. But now I knew she was illustrating how best friends were supposed to act around each other. But Starfire and I, we weren't normal best friends. Tamaranians liked touch, she'd <em>told<em> me that. While I knew that shouldn't make her free game to touch her whenever I wanted, she'd never complained in the past. Why should now be different?

Except that I'd flat out refused her. Told her that there could never be anything between us. I just never realised that would change things this much.

I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Looking back, I studied what I'd been doing moments before she'd pulled away. Moments before she reacted to me and acted out of character. They were all exactly the same. I'd been touching her. My hand on her back as we walked. My knee connected with hers. My hand on her knee. Her arm. Her shoulder. Her waist. Her leg. Her foot, ankle, wrist, neck, face. Hell, the only place I hadn't been touching her was anywhere blatantly sexual.

I'd been touching her more than I ever realised I had. It was all second nature. Those little brushes I thought I'd been doing? It wasn't even half of the amount of times I touched her. Hand to the back, hand on her arm, shoulder to shoulder, knees pressed together. Every time I'd just done it, I hadn't even been thinking about it. Every single time she moved away from me as I reached for her.

It reinforced just how much I'd been leading her on.

No wonder she wanted a kiss. We'd just about done everything else together. If she'd done that to me, I'd be mighty pissed I hadn't gotten a kiss out of her. She was within her rights, I guess, to demand the same from me.

However, I couldn't just go up and kiss her. It'd be for all the wrong reasons right now. It would be something she'd forced from me. She had to stop this game first. It had to actually mean something. She'd hate it if I kissed her just so she'd touch me. She'd start second guessing the reasons behind the kiss and we'd never really have a chance.

Besides, I wanted my best friend back.

My plan had been simple to begin with. The touches I used to do, they'd be exactly the same. Only stronger. Full of purpose. I was aware of what I was doing now. I sought her out, deliberately sitting too close. Grinning at her and moving closer again when she pulled away. Deliberately putting my hand on her shoulder, playing footsies beneath the table, an arm around waist for a fast hug and release before she could move away.

Or her _hair_. I loved her hair. It was so long, so beautiful. She never noticed me playing with her locks, stroking the strands unless I tugged too hard, or did it up near her head. I could be so sneaky about it too, hiding my hand behind the top of the couch and brushing my fingers against the ends.

I sought her out, invited her to do things with me that would involve contact. Like riding the R-Cycle. I knew she loved to do that. She'd always clutch me so tightly this big grin on her face when I looked in the mirror. She loved the wind in her face, the speed and the fact that she didn't have to do anything to be taken for a ride. I wonder if she liked it because she could hug me tightly too.

I invited her for more training sessions. Paperwork. To the movies. Out to the park. Things we'd do together anyway, but now I was actively inviting her. Still she resisted. She hid. She made excuses. She spent her time locked in her room, or with Raven, or trying to do the rings in the gym and I couldn't go and tell her how wrong she was doing them, because I wanted to help her properly and I didn't think she'd accept it from me right now. She was trying so hard.

I'm kind of ashamed to admit how much I'd been stalking her the last few days. I'd never really been this bad in the past. I'd always been aware of where she was, a vague awareness in the back of my mind, but now it was though I had to check on her location, just to know. I had to make sure she was in her room. Or in the training room. Or in Raven's room. In the garage with Cyborg. In the kitchen with Beast Boy.

I'd tried to fix things between us in that closet. I'd gone in there with a mindset to talk this over with her…. Or press her up against the wall and just kiss her and everything else be damned. But then Raven had pulled that stunt with her energy and… I hadn't wanted to kiss her without being able to hold her.

Now… she was so angry with me. That righteous warrior fury that was always so incredible and breathtaking to watch had been directed to me.

I was an idiot. Really I was. It wasn't her treating this as a game. It was me. Teasing her and testing her boundaries and constantly trying to touch her when she so obviously didn't want it anymore. I'd be surprised if she'd even talk to me. I'd treated this whole thing as a game, instead of taking her seriously. She'd been trying to show me something and I'd taken it as a challenge. Show her she couldn't take her touch away from me, I'd always be able to get whatever I wanted.

Wrooooong. So wrong.

I hid outside the gym, crouching with my back pressed against a wall and my small scope positioned so I could watch her, waiting until she wore herself out enough that I wouldn't be beaten to a bloody pulp for approaching her.

Right now, that poor punching bag was taking my beating.

"You're not going to do any good from out here," Raven said.

I pulled the scope away from my eye so I could look up at her. "Yeah, I know. I just—"

"Start out with grovelling. Apologising profusely then kiss her."

I sighed. "Raven."

"It's all bogus, these excuses you keep giving yourself."

"If you say so."

"She just broke the punching bag."

My head spun so fast and I peered into the gym. "Shit."

I watched as Starfire stalked over to the rings, kicking off her books and tossing her gloves before she was up on them and swinging recklessly.

"She's going to hurt herself," I murmured after she'd come off them for the third time.

"So go stop her," Raven said, watching as Starfire flew up to take another turn, only to complete two revolutions then fall. "Help her. _Talk_ to her."

"I don't know what to say."

"All she really wants to hear is that she means as much to you as you do to her. You know. The truth for once."

"Can't I just—"

"You've run from this too long. Fix it before it breaks."

"Breaks?"

"C'mon, Robin. Empath. I've known how you felt about her from the first time you locked lips with her."

"That was a transfer of knowledge. Not a kiss."

"For her. For you, it was a kiss. You were so desperate to get another one for weeks after that until you realised she had no idea what they were and what they meant. She knows now. Why are you denying yourself the pleasure of her?"

"You're one to talk."

"_Helloooooo_," Raven said, sounding very much like Beast Boy at that moment.

"Um…"

"I'll accept your apology later."

"You're a peach. You know this is your fault too, if you hadn't put that band around me in the closet, this would've been fixed by now."

Raven scoffed at me. "Don't blame me for your shortcomings. We both know kissing her then wouldn't have resolved anything and seven minutes is not long enough to fix a relationship. You should have used that time to talk, rather than torment her."

"I didn't—"

"Do I need to throw you in that room?"

Starfire hit the mat on her stomach and instead of getting up she just lay there for a moment, I could hear her heavy breathing from the doorway, then she rolled, covered her face in her hands and bent her knees so her feet were flat on the floor.

She was crying. Had to be. I _hated_ it when she cried. My feet were moving me toward her before I consciously thought I should go to her.

But I still had no idea what to say. I flopped down next to her and tried a hundred times to say something while she sniffled on the floor beside me. In the end, I just sat there and waited until she felt like she had the strength to face the world again. I'd figured out what to say on the fly, that always seems to work. Or completely screw things up.

I hated this. I really did. I wanted my best friend back. I needed her.

She sniffled, sighed, rubbed her face and dropped her hands to her chest as she opened her eyes, jumping when she saw me beside her. "_G'tuk de X'hal_, Robin," she mumbled, wiping at her eyes again.

I sighed, looking at the floor. "Y'know, I hate this as much as you do."

Her eyes flashed and her face twisted as she sat up. "You know what you must to do end it."

I sighed again and looked at her. I couldn't give her the ending she wanted, no matter how much I'd just like to jump her and do it. It wouldn't be right. Not like this. Neither of us wanted a forced kiss to end it. "Wouldn't that cheapen it for you? I could kiss you right here, right now, but it wouldn't really mean anything. I'd be doing it so I could have things back the way they were."

Her eyes lost some of their ferocity.

"Your first kiss would be ruined," I continued, undaunted. "Proper kiss, not the language transfers. I don't think I could take that away from you."

She dropped her eyes and looked sad. "Raven said it was not the first kiss that mattered, but the second."

"If you really thought that, you would have just kissed me before. You've had two chances now, and you didn't take them."

"Neither did you."

I should've… I screwed things up, I know. "No, but this isn't about me, is it? I doubt it would feel good to know you tricked a kiss out of me, and if we don't stop this soon, we're both going to lose."

She sighed, looking completely downtrodden as she wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her head in her knees.

I felt immediately remorseful. "Oh, Star, I'm not saying this to hurt you. Really, I'm not."

"I know," she replied, her voice muffled by her legs. "You are correct and I do not want you to be. We do need to stop."

I reached for her, stopped myself before I could draw her in for a hug and just touched her elbow instead. "You're not crying, are you?"

"No."

"Good. I hate it when you cry."

Deep breathing beside me. She was trying, she was. Which made me feel even worse.

"You okay?"

"Mmm."

I allowed a fraction of the concern I was feeling trickle into my voice. "Star?"

She lifted her head.

"Can we call a truce?"

"Robin," Starfire mumbled with a shake of her head. "I cannot go back to the way things were."

I sighed. "Yeah, I figured as much. But, I really thought Tamaranians like touch."

"We do. When it actually means something."

"Do you doubt my feelings for you?" Can't you see how much I care for you? Can't you see how much this distance between us is killing me too?

"You have never actually expressed any feelings for me other than 'I care for you'. And that you have only told me recently, while under duress. The same could be said for how you feel about Raven, or Cyborg, or Beast Boy. Robin, I am not sixteen anymore. 'I think your starbolts are awesome' is no longer sufficient."

"Point taken." Damn. I didn't know how to tell her what I felt. I couldn't… but I had to try. To make things better between us. "Star, I…"

A brushing of fingertips against my shoulder and I looked at her. She gave me a daring smile and for a moment I thought she'd just dive right in and kiss me. "Robin, I believe, if you told me now, it would be the same as if you kissed me now, would it not? A cheap imitation?"

No… not really. I didn't think so, even if she did. If she didn't pressure me to tell her how I felt, I probably never would find the words.

"I am sorry for all this," she said, ducking her head and tapping her thumbs together. "I was, perhaps, over the board?"

No. Don't take the blame for this. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I never should've let it go this far. I was a jerk about all this, I really was. We should've sat down and talked properly, rather than me treating this like I have been. What you were doing, it kind of woke me up. I never realised just how much I touched you or what it was doing to our friendship. I'm really sorry, Star. Forgive me?"

"Of course, Robin." She held out her hand to me and gave me a brilliant smile. "Truce?"

"Truce." I took her hand and returned her smile. "I'll try to keep my hands off you. Really, this time."

"That would be appreciated."

Couldn't help myself. I just couldn't. Couldn't leave it like that. I leant forward and yanked Starfire toward me so I could hug her. I was extremely grateful when she melted against me and clutched at me too.

"Star, I do care for you, I just… I can't…" I don't have the words. I never leant how to do this. I'm a bumbling idiot that can't tell the one person that understands me over everyone else how much they mean to me.

"Hush," she murmured. "I care for you as well. That is all that matters. Please, let us not do this, let us go back to how we were before."

I don't want to go back the way we were. I want to be _more_ than what we were. But I don't know how. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I buried my head in her neck, just holding her.

She's so caring and gentle, stroking my hair with soft noises, soothing me instead of me soothing her. I was supposed to be the one to make this right, not her.

"Okay, Okay." I sighed as I let her go, not wanting to but knowing I should. "Not a good way to start. Sorry."

"I do not mind."

I cleared my throat. "You know, you're really scary when you do that warrior princess thing. Awesome, but scary."

She giggled, blushing and ducking her head. "Thank you."

"I don't think you're incompetent," I began. "You're an asset—"

"Robin," she interrupted. "It is okay. I know."

I smiled. "Good." I looked up, contemplating the rings. We needed something simple. Something easy to remind us that we were friends. Good friends, possibly even more than friends, but I'll settle for remembering our friendship first. I'd been dying to do this for days now, but hadn't had the guts to approach her about. "Now," I said, as I took my boots off. "I'm going to have to touch you if you want fix the problem you're having with the rings."

She looked up at the rings, then back at me with a disbelieving look. "Would you touch Raven?"

Raven would never even try the rings. "No," I said. "Just you. Deal with it."

"You are not playing fair."

"I thought you said this wasn't a game."

She pulled a face.

My cape and belt were next, then my gloves fell to the mat beside hers. I went to the equipment cupboard for the second set of rings. "Put these up for me, would you?" I asked, pointing to the two hooks in the ceiling beside the current rings.

Starfire didn't say a word as she floated up to attach the rings.

"I've been watching you," I admitted. "Not just today, but other times you've tried this. You don't trust yourself enough. The minute you feel yourself slipping, you fly. That changes everything and you fall."

I tested her handiwork when the rings were attached, tested their strength, then held onto both rings and nodded to Starfire, indicating the other rings. "Up you go."

Still watching me with that peculiar expression, she floated up beside me and copied my position.

I tilt my head forward, looking around my arm at her. "Right, now, switch off that Tamaranian part of you that insists on flying."

She wrinkled her nose and crossed her eyes. All that was missing was a poking tongue.

I chuckled, had to, it was just that adorable. "Alright. The rings are not the parallel bars, Star, you don't need momentum. It's not about swinging madly, it's about rolling and stopping and using your muscles to do that. We're going start with something easy." I lifted my legs out in front of me so they were parallel to the ground, then hoisted myself up so that I was above the rings. "Now you."

She's very good at mimicry as she lifted her legs to match my first position.

"Good, now climb the rings like you would if you were getting out of the pool, without using your legs. You can do it one arm at a time, if you like. When you get better, you can do both at once, like I did."

I'll give her credit for trying, even if she floundered and flopped through the air, kicking her legs to get the momentum she needed to do it.

"Good. Now, we're going to roll forward. Let gravity do the work for you. Drop your legs, then, with the upper part of your body, fold your head down to your knees. From there, use your legs to roll you around in a circle, until you're back up the top again." I went into a simple roll, my body knowing exactly how much force to exert to follow through.

"You make this look easy," she complained.

"I grew up doing this. If you can't make the revolution, don't force it. Dangle and start again. Keep your leg as straight and immovable as possible, that's the key. Everything's done from the hips and up." I rolled around the rings once more.

She tried to copy me, she got the first part of the roll and got stuck part way upside down. Her legs scissored, kicking and hoisting as she managed to complete it. She was going to need hands on help.

I didn't mean to laugh, but her actions were quite funny. I dropped to the ground. "Try again, I'll get the ladder."

"Ladder?"

"I can't help positioning without touching you, I said that. And you're too high to do it comfortably from the ground. Unless you want me to poke you with my staff."

She turned her head and looked at me, smirking.

Oh… that just sounded bad. And good. But _bad_. And, she understood the insinuation. Which was also good and bad. "Ahh, that totally came out wrong."

We have an A-frame ladder suited just for this. I dragged it out and sat at the top and had Starfire do another roll while I had my hand on her back to show her how to bend.

You know, it's nice teaching someone to do this. As I talked to Starfire, placing my hands as platonically as I could around her body, the back of her neck, the small of her back, her forearm, I was hearing my father's voice in my head instructing me. Remembering what it was like when I was doing this and learning how to roll smoothly and learning which muscles controlled my descent. I demonstrated what I could from the A-frame, telling her to point her toes, or get the best lift from a crocked elbow. I told her about how her body will follow her head, how she'd need to look where she was going and the rest of her would follow.

Slowly, she showed improvement, now she knew it was about rolling, although I did have to stop her several times because she over rolled. But it was nice. Just her and me, doing stuff, as friends.

She was getting flushed. Tired perhaps? I wondered at that, she wasn't trained for this and her strength didn't come from her muscles. I didn't want to force it, but I also didn't want to stop doing this with her.

"You're getting better," I said. "Those last few were great."

"Thank you."

"Do you want to try some more moves?" I asked, eager to keep going. "There's different exercises I can teach you."

"Perhaps tomorrow?"

"It's a date," I said with a nod and a grin. Second Freudian slip of the day. "Ahh…"

"I know what you mean." She gave me a daring but uncertain smile. "Perhaps you could demonstrate some moves now?"

In other words, 'please show off so I can get all sighy when I look at you.' "I'm on to you."

She really has perfected that look of innocence.

"Okay, move back."

She took several steps backward and then sat on the floor beside our boots, watching me expectantly.

Feeling the need to show off for her, and because I like it when she gets all dreamy eyed and sighy when she watched me, I stretched.

"Do you wish for me to lift you onto the rings?"

I rolled my eyes at her, leaping the distance and steadying myself. "Okay, you know this one, right?" I asked, rolling myself directly into the iron cross.

Her mouth opened as she gaped at me, her eyes already wide and fixed on my movements. "Yes. The iron cross."

I grinned. "Good. And this?" I pushed out with my hands and lifted my legs at the same time until my legs were parallel to the floor.

She contemplated. "As I recall, it had something to do with a small version of canine?"

I had to laugh. "Very close. Maltese cross."

"Oh. And from there it is the inverted cross, yes? The hand of stands with your arms wide?"

"Ask me to do something hard, why don't you."

"You cannot do it?" she teased.

I lifted an eyebrow at her. "Which way? Forward or backward?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Always," I replied. "I could swing—" I dropped, swung under the rings, straight into a handstand widening my arms directly into the inverted cross. "Or," I continued as I returned to the maltese cross, difficult to do, especially since I was relying on my muscles of my arms, "I could use my strength."

She sighed in delight as I went back to the inverted cross. As much as that was good, I didn't want her swooning over my acrobatics. I wanted her swooning over me.

"You're enjoying this far too much."

"And you were enjoying the 'showing off'," she retorted, reaching for her boots.

I flopped down beside her and grabbed my boots, yanking them on. "Well, it's not like I can do any competitions, don't have time. It's nice to know someone appreciates me." I sighed and sat back, supported my weight on my hands and crossed the ankles of my outstretched legs. "Y'know, I missed this."

"Missed what?"

"You and me, just doing stuff together."

She hesitated, clasping her hands on her lap and blushed again. "I have as well. Very much."

"It's nice. No one gets me like you do."

"Well, you are my best friend, Robin."

There's that word again. I don't want to be just the best friend anymore. "Yeah."

She looked at me with a frown.

Too melancholy. Let's have some fun. Or food. "Well, enough chitchat," I said, slapping my knees. "You hungry? We could order pizza."

"Famished."

"Good, 'cause you're wasting away there." I don't know why I did it, I've never tickled her before but I did right then. I reached over the distance between us and tickled my fingers against the skin of her waist.

She gave this adorable squeaky mouse giggle. I've never heard that giggle before, it was gorgeous.

"You're ticklish."

She was immediately protective of her belly. "And you are not?"

"Nope." Oh, I'm so getting her to do that mouse squeak again. I shifted into a crouch, grinning at her.

Her eyes grew wide. "You would not."

"Damn right, I would," I said and tackled her backward.

Laughter is infectious, especially the squeaky mouse giggle. She's rolling beneath me, all curled up and trying to protect herself and I'm looming over her, one hand supporting my weight while the other darts around her stomach to hear more of her giggles, laughing myself. She tried to get me, but I'm not ticklish, and I'm in control and she's infectious and beautiful and we're having more fun that we have in days. Just us. Her and me. Best friends.

She's squealing and breathlessly gasping my name as she tried to squirm away from my fingers but I wouldn't let her. The more she tried to escape the more I trapped her. She tried to make a run for it, crawling across the floor but I grappled her and pinned her on her back to the mat beneath me.

I'm laughing and she's giggling like crazy as I knelt above her with my hands on her wrists. And I realised what I'd done.

Shit, how'd we get to one of these moments so quickly? I thought I'd have more time to bolster my courage.

We're so damn close. So close I can feel her breath fan my face. I can see her pulse flutter in her neck. See her eyes dilate as she looked back at me. My gaze dropped to her lips as she bit her bottom one to try and control her giggles. It was so sexy and I was suddenly reminded of her seduction in the closet. Sidling up to me all hot, her eyes shining with desire for me, working her body in ways I'd never dreamt she could.

I could kiss her. Right here. Right now. I could do this.

She made this little giggle-hmmm sound as she started to control her laughter, her face going a little bit resigned.

This is the moment I'd always pulled away from her. When she'd gotten too close, when my control was slipping and all I wanted to do was taste her. This was the moment I always ran from.

Not today.

I swallowed and lowered myself down, slowly. Giving her time so she knew what was coming, so she'd be ready for it. I released her wrists, settled my weight on my elbows, slowly and carefully aligning our bodies so we were pressed together.

Starfire's giggles stalled and she hiccupped as her eyes went wide. She gasped, something new shining in her eyes. Hot desire. Longing. Anticipation. Things that had been there all along and I'd never allowed myself to taste or see.

I used a finger to touch her hair, drinking in the sight of her, breathing in her sweet scent, closer than we'd ever been before. Letting myself really _see_ her for the wonder that she was, allowing myself to finally _feel_ what I'd kept trapped and caged and hidden away. "You are so beautiful."

Totally non platonic of me, admitting that I saw her that way.

I was so nervous now, butterflies dancing in my stomach, my breath shaky and uneven. She was accepting of my approach, but the only girl I've ever really kissed was her and that wasn't a kiss. I don't count the mashing of lips I was forced to endure from one of Bruce's director's daughter's when I was twelve. What if I did it wrong? I wanted to do this right. I owed it to her to get this right. To make it perfect.

Starfire's fingers curled against her palms, her eyes glazing and her lids sliding half shut as her lips parted. She was ready and waiting but still somehow melancholy, as though she thought I was going to pull away.

I wasn't. Not again.

She made this tiny little whimper and it was enough to reel me in, make me close the fraction of space between us and catch her lips with mine.

It started out slow, just a taste, a test to see if we could do this. Her lips were so soft against mine and I wanted more. It wasn't a mashing of lips, more a gentle melting, a tantalising dance between us. I closed my eyes, dropping closer to her as I concentrated on the kiss and the sensations flooding through me.

My mind went foggy as I tilted my head to stop our noses bumping together and suddenly we were kissing _more_. Deeper. Stronger. Our mouths moved together with their own purpose. To taste, touch, share. Her arms wrapped around my neck, holding me closer.

I was a pro at this. And she was _incredible_.

My fingers brushed against her face, wove into her hair. Her hands were wandering, up and down my back, exploring me just as mine discovered her.

It wasn't enough, just kissing her. I wanted to touch as well.

I shifted my weight to one elbow, freeing up my hand. I slid off her a little, just enough so that I could press my hand against her stomach and see how she reacted.

She cooed at me. Another new sound, I was discovering so much. Pleased with her response, I let my hand wander, thankful I hadn't put my gloves back on. Skin to skin. Down across her waist to the small of her back and up again to her stomach, then higher to her ribs. I left it there, judging her reaction. She stiffened a little, but didn't stop me, so I slid my hand back down again. Circular pattern, just touching and getting her used to my hand while I began to explore her mouth more.

My tongue grazed against her teeth, my mouth sucked on her lower lip and she mimicked what I was doing. Teasing me with her tongue too.

It was good. Brilliant. Wonderful. Why had I waited so long?

"Woohoo! Go Starfire!"

Starfire seized up at the interruption, but I didn't care they'd discovered us. I lifted my hand from her and gave Beast Boy the finger, then shooed him with my hand before I returned it to her. I'd waited so long for this, I was not about to stop now.

"Well, would you look at that," Cyborg said rather smugly. "Nice going, Rob. About damn time."

Yes, now fuck off and let me keep kissing her.

"Rae, you won!" Beast Boy announced.

"Of course I did," Raven said, rather smug. Well, of course, since she practically pushed me into the room. "Now, let's leave them alone, shall we?" There was the sound of Raven ushering the guys away. "Congrats Star," she said as the door closed.

Starfire was still stiff and I peeked open one eye to see her staring at me. It was probably time for some talking, I guess, so I eased back, turning the kisses to little pecks and glazed eyes and strokes of my nose against hers. When I finally released her lips, I said, "I should've done that a long time ago."

She gave me a dreamy sigh. "I believe your timing was perfect."

"Do you now?"

She tilted her head, stared in wonder and lifted a hand to place a finger against my mask. "Blue? Or grey? I cannot tell."

My eyes widened, my hand gripping her ribs. I'd forgotten the damn thing could be seen through this close. Was she going to ask me to take it off? I wasn't… I wasn't supposed to reveal myself, not without permission, but… surely… for her… "Ahh…" I swallowed. "Blue."

"I was not aware you had eyes at all," she teased and removed her hand.

I played along. "All the better to see you with, my dear."

She mouse giggled at me.

"I suppose," I murmured, "since we've made out, I really should remove it."

She smiled and lifted her shoulders a fraction. "When you are ready. I do not mind waiting."

"Really?"

"Yes." Her expression went stern. "But if you ever want to engage in more sexually orientated activities, it will come off."

_More_ sexually orientated activities? "I'll remember that." I slid off her, propping my head up and left a hand on her belly. "You have this lovely glow around you now."

"I believe that is from being completely and thoroughly kissed."

I trailed my fingers against her stomach simply because I could. "Glad to be of service."

"So, that was the 'making out'?"

"Uh-huh."

"Glorious," she purred.

"Would you like to do it again?"

She looked torn. "Does this mean we are the girlfriend and boyfriend, properly this time?"

"No, I don't want to commit to that," I teased. "How about, make out buddies?" She pouted at me and I sighed, giving it dramatic flare as though she was forcing me into it, when in reality, I went there gladly. "Okay, I'm your boyfriend." I grinned, unable to help myself. "For all intents and purposes, I have been treating you like a girlfriend for years, I just didn't realise it. At least, now I get to enjoy the perks."

"May I ask what prompted this change?"

"I couldn't resist your wiles anymore."

A confused look. "My what?"

"I couldn't resist _you_ anymore," I amended.

"Truly?"

Why was she surprised? She practically seduced me in the closet before. I had been seconds away from crumbling. Couldn't she see that? "Are you kidding me? That thing you did in the closet… you sidled up to me, all sexy and seductive and it was the hottest damn thing I've ever seen. All I wanted to do was kiss you senseless."

"Why did you not?"

I sighed and rubbed her stomach. "Because I didn't want our first kiss to be in a closet, when I couldn't touch you, and the rest of the Titans were egging us on. It wasn't right and I think you would have regretted it. I heard what you said about the first kiss, I wanted to give you that. Hardest thing I ever had to do, saying no to you then. If I hadn't been bound, maybe things would have turned out different, but I don't know, I kind of like this way better."

"As do I."

"You _have_ to do that again for me one day. Especially the 'kiss me, you fool'." Now? Can you do it now?

She giggled, flirtatious. I was enjoying this side of her. "Perhaps one day."

"You are _very_ hard to resist."

"And yet, you managed to, for many years now." She looked like she had regretted those words the moment she spoke them, but they were out now.

I sighed, rolled onto my back and clasped my hand on my chest. "I'm stupid, okay?"

She rolled onto her side, propped up her head and placed her hand over mine. "I do not believe that."

"Then what do you believe?"

She frowned a little, speaking slowly. "I believe you do not express feelings well. I believe that you were offering yourself up to what you believed I wanted and no more. You were content thinking that Tamaranians did not kiss and used touch to show our affection and gave me what you could. When you discovered that I wished for the kiss, I believe it may have scared you, because that is human affection and if you were to give me that, you could have to confront what you felt for me. Not an easy thing for you to do."

Right on so many points. "Wow. Very astute. By the time I figured that out, you'd stopped touching me, and I couldn't kiss you because it would have been for the wrong reasons. I just wanted us to… stop being stupid for a while and remember what we were like as friends. And really, I hadn't expected a perfect opportunity like that to present itself so quick, but I wasn't going to let you slip away again."

She almost looked like she was swooning as she remembered what we'd just done. "That was a perfect moment."

"Better than trapped under an avalanche? Or in a closet?"

"Much."

I grinned, then sobered. "There were other factors too, you know. I'm going to be terrified for you in battle for a while, even though I know you can handle it. I'm always going to be worried that people like Slade are going to use you against me. Just… bare with me, okay?"

She nodded. "I had thought the Batman and his rules may also have been instrumental."

I rubbed my face. "Yeah, you could say that. Him and his stupid rules, never date a teammate, never reveal your secret identity, everyone's a liability, blah blah blah."

"That is a hard way to live."

"Except, he breaks his own rules all the time. Catwoman for example. Really, he just doesn't want me to share who I am because it leads back to him, and he's scared I'll blow his secret."

"Robin—"

"I hate that I can't share who I am with you."

"You are my Robin," she said. "That is all I need to know."

"My Robin, huh? I like the sound of that." I reached up and cupped her face with a hand. "You've already corrupted me, the excuses don't matter anymore. Can I just kiss you again?"

"I can have more?" she gasped. "It was not just to be the once?"

I chuckled and pushed up toward her.

Quicker this time. Better, because we'd already worked out so much from that first kiss. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had so many kisses to make up for; I wasn't going to waste another moment. I rolled her back beneath me, a leg pressed between her thighs while our tongues played together. My hand went straight back to her ribcage, wondering if I dared go higher.

She wrapped her arms around me, one hand on my hip, the other in my hair and she made no move to stop my hand. I trailed my fingers along her ribs, followed the bone across and back, my thumb sliding under the hem of her shirt, seeing if she was okay with this. It seemed that she was, especially when her hand slipped inside my shirt first, brushed against my lower back. As much as her hand was wonderful and warm, I hadn't been prepared for her to be so daring while I was finding my courage to do something like that.

Our bodies were shifting in time with our lips, pulling the other closer and tighter, my hand was almost sweaty against her ribs. She seemed to be offering, her chest pushing up toward me, muscles twitching beneath my hand.

So I just went for it. She could blast me later if she wanted. Slipped my hand upward until it cupped her breast and Starfire cooed in response and I took that as permission.

I gave her breast a light squeeze, just feeling and learning and ohmygodi'mtouchingherbreastandshe'slettingme. I could already feel myself swelling in response to her movements, her taste and touch, and that was actually okay, considering she was my girlfriend now.

My _girlfriend_. Who was letting me feel her up. Can't get any better than this. I concentrated on my hand, still remembering to kiss and taste her, memorising the feel of her breast. It felt so different than being squashed together, stolen groping. Voluptuous and round and soft all at once she pressed herself firmly against my hand and that was really all the invitation I need.

Screw Bruce and all his stupid rules, I'd kept myself away from her too long.

I was going to enjoy this while it lasted. _Oh, Starfire_.

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><p><strong><em>Author's Note<em>**_: Hands up how many of you scrolled through everything else to get to the kissing part._

_Needed some romance, huh?  
><em>


	5. Regret

**Regret**

Dick, Age 18

Chapter 18 of Masks.

**BIG FAT WARNING: Reader discretion is advised. This is… not what you think. Be careful what you wish for. So many people asked for it, there's a reason why I said no.  
><strong>

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><p>I wallowed and hid. Couldn't look at Starfire, not after being so… horny and not thinking and taking from her. I was supposed to be above that, the caring boyfriend… waiting until she was ready and I was ready and… it was so unlike me, but the feel of her bare breast against my hand, holding her naked body… it took my mind away. Let me focus on something else, see something else other than the death of my brother.<p>

So sensual and soft… I stared at my hand remembering that moment where I touched them while she slept on the floor of the solarium.

God, I wanted her. The ache was so fierce. The want, the need to find that moment where there wasn't anything else going on in my mind anymore. Where I wasn't reliving that night, over and over again, second guessing myself and wondering what I could have done differently. How I could have made it so Jason lived.

There was just pleasure, being with her, the feel of her skin. All it took was that small sentence from her, the offer of nakedness and then seeing it, and I was reduced to a normal, teenage hormonal boy wanting to get laid for the first time. I'd already beaten off to that image of her lying there naked once and I still couldn't face her. Couldn't touch...

She deserved better than that. She deserved candles and romance and…

There was a soft knock at the door. God, not now. Not when my control is so perilous. Not when my mind is telling me to immerse myself in her and forget everything else. I shouldn't be thinking of her that way, not after everything. Not when I'm high on painkillers and she's hurt and I'm hurt and my brother is dead and I'm riding such a mood, I don't know what I'll do if I see her.

"Go away."

"Dick?"

_Starfire_.

I couldn't stay away. Needed to see her, see that she was okay, but I had to keep my distance. Couldn't touch her while I was riding this mood. I went to the door, unlocked it and opened it. "How'd you find me?"

Wordlessly, she pointed to the name on the door. She looked like I felt. Lost. Alone. Hurting and not knowing how to make it better. But she looked more healed too.

"Oh." Stupid.

"May I come in?"

No. _Yes_. I turned away, leaving the door, letting her make her own decisions.

"Oh, Dick," I heard her say as she closed the door behind her.

"You look better," I said, still not looking at her. Couldn't, all I could see was her naked and lying on the floor.

"Raven came. She is still in my room."

"Oh."

"Dick?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I don't. It's too raw. Too painful. He was my brother and I failed him. You're my girl, Star, and I failed you too.

"Do you hate me?"

I almost broke my neck turning to face her. "What?"

She looked so lost, so sad. "You compromised your position to save me. If I had not been involved your brother would not have perished."

"I would have done that for anyone—"

"If I had listened and stayed away, you would never have revealed yourself to Jason that night. Batman would have used a different tactic to deal with the riot. Jason would never have been taken."

"Star—"

"I am your weakness. Batman knew. He tried to protect me, take me out of the equation so you would be at your best. A hero cannot have a weakness."

"No—"

"I understand why you resisted me as much as you did. You were afraid this was going to happen. You were afraid I was going to be used against you. And now it has and you were injured and your brother gave his life for me and I know you are going to do the breaking up with me. You cannot even bring yourself to touch me. It is my fault, all of this. I should never have come. You have every right to hate me." She started to cry. "I hate me."

I never meant for her to feel that way. I didn't. I strode across the room, determined to give us the comfort we both needed. I snatched her up, picked her off the ground and held onto her as hard as I dared. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. I don't hate you. I love you. I was afraid I'd break if I touched you."

"Oh, Dick—"

"I almost lost you. It was so close. I almost lost you and I was so helpless and he died. And now, I can't feel anything—" except how much I want you and I shouldn't— "Please, Star, I'm so numb. Help me."

She cupped my face, brought out lips together and that was it. The dam burst. I'd been holding back, straining not to let it get the better of me, but she was here and I _needed_. Her kiss, it took everything away, made it fuzzy, made it bearable, made it feel almost like I could live through the next few moments without the guilt. I kissed her until there was nothing but her lips and her body. If I stopped, everything would come back I didn't want it to come back. My hands pawed at her, her breasts, her belly, her ass, I lifted her up, wrapped her legs around me, my only thought was to get her to a bed.

She'll stop me if she doesn't want this. She's so strong, so powerful, if I do something she's not comfortable with, she'll stop me. She always has before. I'm not taking anything from her that she doesn't want to give.

I was anxious, I knew, determined to get her back to that naked state so I could look again. Look and touch and taste bare skin. I tore at her shirt, undoing the buttons while I kissed her breathless and she was just as desperate to be rid of my clothes. She didn't protest, not even when I reached for her panties and tossed them aside. When she was naked, I went straight for her breasts, closing my mouth over her peak, the need to taste so strong I couldn't help myself.

She encouraged me, her hands holding my face there, her back arching up to my mouth and she was gasping and murmuring my name. I remember talking, saying that I loved her, but they were only words. Parroting nonsense because it was a means to an end.

Couldn't stop. Couldn't. Wanted more. Wanted her.

She'll stop me. She will.

Except, she didn't.

I needed her. Needed to be closer.

Slow down.

Be content with the fact she's naked and beneath you and her feet are tugging your pants off too and she's letting you kiss her breast. Be content. My pants were around my ankles, coaxed away by dexterous toes, it wasn't much of a hassle to take them off completely.

Starfire yanked my face back up to meet hers.

And that was it. Her yank and I was positioned outside her, hard against her heat and she was kissing me with such force.

She had to want this as much as I did.

Hand on my back, clutching and pulling me toward her, her legs around my waist and…

There wasn't a conscious moment I knew I was going to join with her. There wasn't a moment that I thought, 'and now we have sex'. It just… happened. One moment I was outside, rubbing against her folds and thinking this was the best feeling ever, the next I was buried inside her and our hips were moving and she was moaning and gasping and it really _was_ the best thing I'd ever felt.

I tried to slow down, tried to stare into her eyes and give her at least a little bit of romance. So not what I had imagined our first time to be, frenzied coupling riding off the back of grief.

But I couldn't. Everything was fuzzy and numb and I felt _so_ good while I was moving inside her, deeper and deeper. I needed more. Wanted more. Needed to feel nothing but how euphoric I was right now.

She was moving too much, it wasn't the right sort of movement, it wasn't helping me. If she'd just let me do this… I took her wrists, pinned them to the bed, leaning my weight on them and kissed her, held her still with my mouth as I took from her.

Oh, yes. _Oh, yes_.

Harder, faster, my hips struck hers so our skin slapped together. My thighs nudged her hips wider, spread herself for me so I could go deeper and faster and god this feels _so_ good. She was arching her back, pushing her breasts up so they rubbed against my chest.

God, this was amazing. Better than I imagined.

Orgasm was coming, so much better than what I could give myself. Bubbling and trembling I could feel it building, grunts pouring from my throat as I pushed myself there, desperate for it. Desperate for that moment, that perfect ending, the moment where everything just fell away and all there was was pleasure. And then it was there and I emptied myself into her and it was _so_ euphoric. I was complete and she was—

God… what did I just do?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_

_This is why I didn't want to do this one. __While she's thinking it's all about them, he's just thinking of himself. It's not… bad… because she was willing. But from his POV, it makes him seem very bad. _

_This is part of the reason why he reacted so badly to the "You're hurting me." Because right up until that point, he was justifying it by saying if she didn't want it, she'd stop him. _

_The only reason I am posting this as it is, raw, is because I am very afraid I'll fiddle and turn it into something it's not._


	6. Closet

**Closet**

_Dick, Age 18_

_Chapter 9-10 of Touch_

_For Star of Airdire.  
><em>

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><p>Titan Get together. Really, it's just an excuse to have a party, get together with all our friends across the globe. Some of our Titans work alone; this gives them a chance to mingle with other like minded teenagers. Have some fun. Exchange news and incident reports. Ask for help if it's needed. Form relationships. Kick back and enjoy life.<p>

There's always an assortment of games. Pool, basketball, volleyball. Cyborg and Starfire always make massive amounts of food. Beast Boy and Raven always make sure the place is set up nicely and I do all the odd jobs and set up the sporting activities on the roof.

Today, the gossip seemed to be Starfire and me. It was everywhere. They were all talking and adding their money to the pool Beast Boy and Cyborg created. Gossiping behind their hands and the girls were twittering about it. I don't think they realised they were all being watched, notes were being taken and I was doing my best to keep Starfire from finding out what they were doing.

Kid Flash and Speedy had to ruin it with their stupid counting of the times I touched Starfire on the basketball court. I've never seen her look so indignant and hurt as she stalked off the court.

We sat, eating our dinner. Starfire was hiding in among the girls instead of joining me as she used to do. I couldn't blame her. Not really. This whole thing had to be difficult for her too. But I missed my best friend.

I sat a little separated from the guys, brooding, lost in my own thoughts as I ate. I wasn't sure what to do about this situation anymore. What I was trying, it wasn't working, it was just sort of pushing her further away and everyone else thought it was absolutely hilarious. I was at a loss.

Kid Flash's not one to leave me alone though. He zipped up with his massive plate of food and sat beside me on the awning of the tower. "Hey Dick."

"Wal," I said with a grin. Sometimes it's nice to hear my real name. I've gotten so used to being called Robin. "How's it going?"

"Dude, I don't get it. Why haven't you tapped that?"

I gave him my best bat glare while he just stuffed his face.

"Your dad does it better," Kid Flash quipped, ignoring me. "Sex is amazing, _kissing_ is amazing. It beats jerking off to her for the rest of your life. You're missing out if you don't at least try it."

"You sound like Jason."

"Your brother is an ass," Kid Flash said. "But he knows his sex. Give me one reason why you won't."

Not won't. Can't. I need my friend back. Sex, though, that was completely out of the question. But, Kid Flash asked for a reason. "Changes the team dynamics. Look at us, for example. We both know why you won't formally join the Titans. We've known each other since before you got your powers. I know the bone in your throat ever time you have to follow one of my orders. Now, imagine you're Starfire and I was doing boyfriend stuff with you," I ignored the cheeky waggle of Kid Flash's eyebrows then, "Think how big that fucking bone would be then."

"Okay. But consider this. She's hot. She's sexy. Half the guys here are into her. Hell, I'm a little into her. We're all aware you have first dibs. We know. But if you don't act soon, one of them is going to. My money's on Speedy being the first to ask."

I bristled. I couldn't help it. God, if I lost her… I didn't even want to think about that.

Kid Flash grinned at me. "Dick, I've known you've had a crush on her for years. You can't hide it. You're not Batman, and I'd be concerned if you started being more like him that you are already. C'mon, dude. Sin a little."

I gave him empty protests. He was enjoying advising me for once. Let him have his fun. "But, there's Bludhaven. There are all these plans I have."

"So?" Kid Flash asked. "Have some fun while it lasts. You're eighteen, you're entitled to mess around a little. If it turns serious, deal with that. Don't miss the boat though. You'll regret it."

I sighed. "What do I do? She won't even let me near her."

Kid Flash draped himself on my shoulder, grinning. "You're going to let us play Seven Minutes in Heaven."

"What?" I snapped. "No, I'm not." I'd never allowed them to play that before. Guys outnumbered girls. It was degrading. No fun. Just like spin the bottle. Forced interaction of a sexual nature. There were so many reason why we shouldn't play that game.

"Yes. You are. Think of it. Seven minutes, forced into a closet, you and Starfire. All alone in the dark. You can corner her, kiss her 'til she's all flushed and coo-y. Press her up against the wall and run your hands over that hot body."

Oh. God. The thought of doing that… "Wally—"

"There's a lot of things you can do in seven minutes, Dick," Kid Flash smirked. "I bet I could even do Jinx in seven minutes."

"There's no guarantee I'd draw Starfire's name."

Kid Flash laughed. "Seriously? The great Robin, he couldn't fucking rig a little game like that?"

I gave him a look. "You're evil, you know that."

He grinned and clapped his hand on my back. "That's what you love about me."

I couldn't stop thinking about what he said. Seven minutes in a closet with Starfire. That'd be enough time to convince her that she needed to stop this game. Or even just bite the bullet and kiss her. But mostly talk. Somewhere she can't escape me.

We played an assortment of games. The guys had a console game marathon while the girls did their nails and twittered to each other and balked at the guys. I watched Starfire, half listening to her voice, half watching the game on the console, half aware of everything.

That's when I overheard her vision of the perfect first kiss. I hadn't expected that she'd be thinking about it that in depth. I hadn't. It surprised me.

"The first kiss is always important. It is climatic moment, a pivotal moment in your relationship, where you go from simply friend to a proper companion," Starfire said and I could hear the wistfulness in her voice. "In a first kiss, time will slow down. He will cup your face or put his hands on your waist and you find yourself holding your breath as you wait for him to dip toward you. You are so nervous, your stomach will flood with the butterflies and your knees will be weak. When his lips touch yours it is so glorious you sigh and swoon and he will hold you so tight. There is no one else in the world but you and the other person."

That's what she wanted from me? I didn't even know if I could be that romantic. I suppose I could try, that did sound rather nice. My only problem was if I went slow, I'd have time to second guess myself. Change my mind about the whole thing. But if that's what she wanted… for Starfire, I could do that. Except I wasn't going to do that, because I wanted my best friend back… it was just a stupid game she was playing, she needed to stop that first.

When we reached the time of night when Speedy always asks to play spin the bottle, and now I was aware that he was doing that in the hopes of getting Starfire to kiss, Kid Flash zipped up to my side. "Do it, dude," he whispered, nudging me. "Doooo et. Nownownownownow."

"All right, fine. Lay off," I said, then raised my voice. "How about we play Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

The astonishment on everyone's faces as what I said filtered through. A sense of excitement grew. _Robin_ has suggested they do something _naughty_. There was no way they all weren't going to play.

Except Beast Boy, but then I didn't blame him.

I watched Starfire closely. She looked confused. Concerned. A little worried, but also a little interested.

I was surprised at how quickly the game was set up and the first pair chosen. I was also surprised at how easy it was to slip Speedy's name out of the boy's bowl and into the girl's without Cyborg noticing.

Pantha and Aqualad in the closet. Seemingly enjoying themselves, that had been surprising too.

Funny as all hell when Cyborg got the waffle maker. I wonder if Raven had something to do with that. Or Kid Flash, I wouldn't have put past him.

And, oh if Wilderbeest didn't happen to draw Speedy. How terrible for Speedy. Oh, that was awesome. I loved that. That'll teach you for eyeing off my girl… even if she wasn't my girl yet.

Kid Flash got Jinx, no surprise there. I wonder if he really did do her in that closet. By the looks of her when she came out and the wink he gave me, I wouldn't have been surprised.

Bumblebee and Argent played a mean trick on us, even though I really had expected one of them would do something like that. Seemed like it would be right up Bee's alley to do it. Hot too…

Then my name was called.

Starfire jerked to attention. She had the weirdest expression on her face as she watched me saunter over to the girl's bowl. A small sleight of hand and I pulled the prepared piece of paper with her name on it out of one of the secret compartments I have in my fingertips. There's usually lock picks there, but not today. I locked eyes with her and said her name.

She jumped and went white. "What?"

Everyone was immediately calling and laughing and placing bets with Beast Boy.

Starfire began to protest wildly. "But I—" Bumblebee grabbed her hand, yanked her to her feet and began to pull her toward the door. "I did not put my name in!"

Cyborg snatched the piece of paper off me, looking at the name and frowning. "It's your handwritin', Star."

All the girls, sans Raven, were helping Starfire into the closet now. She must have wanted to go, all she would have had to do is dig her heels in and no one would be able to move her.

"Man, that's so not cool," Cyborg told me, glaring. I shrugged at him, heading to the closet myself, holding onto the door while I waited for Starfire.

She was shoved in so hard she staggered a couple of paces, heading toward the back of the closet. She spun. "No, wait—"

I had her now. I did. I began to close the door, but it was stopped by Raven. I turned to look at her, really, I should have factored Raven into the equation. Stupid mistake. "Just to honour Starfire's wishes," she said with a wicked grin as her eyes shone.

I yelped as her power bound me, hands behind my back so I couldn't do anything. The binds took up my whole arm. "No touching." She winked at Starfire. "Except with your lips."

Then the door was closed.

Starfire retreated to the back of the closet, almost climbing the stack of boxes there to get away from me. That hurt a little, that she was trying to get away from me, but mostly I was pissed off at Raven's little trick. She hit the light bulb cord during her frenzied backward dash, setting the light swinging.

She stared at me, her eyes wide, her face pale and I worried for a fleeting moment. Surely it couldn't be that bad, stuck in a closet with me.

The rest of our friends were jeering in the common room. Thumping the door and making crass comments and Starfire looked very upset. Couldn't have that, really couldn't, not if I was going to make things right… or kiss her… but mostly make things right. Shameless flip-flopper, that's me. I was still wavering about what exactly I was going to do here. Kid Flash's image of Starfire up against the wall flashed through my mind, but then, just as fast an image of Starfire getting hurt because of me. Of Slade with his hands on her…

I struggled with Raven's bindings, really, she'd been very clever. My wrists were bound so it made it difficult to reach my belt or anything else for that matter, plus she'd bound my arms so I couldn't bend them, not even when I contorted myself. Couldn't lift my arms over my head and not enough room to pull my arms underneath by body.

I kicked the door in frustration. "Raven, this isn't funny!"

"Deal with it," was Raven's muffled reply, followed by laughter.

Starfire giggled, covering her mouth with a hand.

I glared at her. "You could help, you know."

"I do not wish to," she replied, mild and a little bit smug.

I mimicked her, "And I do not wish to have to be forced to dislocate my shoulder to get free." Not that I'd actually do that, not unless it was really important but it might prompt her to help me.

She winced. "Perhaps you should cease your struggling."

Kid Flash thumped on the door. "We ain't lettin' you out 'til you smooch!"

"I'm so glad this is amusing for you," I said, ignoring the noise beyond door and stopped struggling.

"You could try pulling your arms under your legs," Starfire suggested.

I snorted and looked over my shoulder to study the bindings. "Yeah, sure, you just want to laugh at me with my feet up in the air. I don't think Raven left enough room." Looking down at my boots, I thought I could most likely get my staff out from my belt if I contorted, and then if I could get the staff to my hands, I could probably get some leverage and shred the bindings. Be tricky, but I could do it. "That'd work, though."

"Why is it so important that you get out of your binds?"

"Why do you think?" I teased.

She panicked, backing away further and grabbed the smelly old mop and shoved it toward me, smelly end first. The broom clattered to the ground.

"Ooooooh," Speedy crowed. "I hear noises!"

I stopped what I was doing. "A mop? Really, Star? You're going to hit me with a smelly old mop?"

"If you come near me, I will," she warned.

Yuk. "Then I'll have old mop smell on me. That wouldn't be very attractive."

"Perhaps you would prefer the old broom?" she replied, shifting her grip on the mop. "I am certain you would appreciate the bristles."

I chuckled and shook my head.

There were exaggerated kissing noises coming from beyond the door and I heard Kid Flash yelling, "Take her up against the wall!"

Flushed, Starfire sat on the air, crossed her legs and glared at me.

"You're just going to sit there the entire time?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you cheated."

Oh, great, now Speedy and Kid Flash are making grunting noises on the other side of the door.

"Really. What makes you say that?"

"I did not put my name in the bowl."

"Yes you did, I saw you," I insisted. "You wanted me to draw it."

She shook her head. "I burnt that piece of paper instead of placing it in the bowl."

Reeeeeally… "Well, _now_ who's a cheater," I answered and smirked. "So, that was a look of jealously on your face when I went to the bowl then? Were you concerned I could be kissing someone other than you?"

She turned up her nose at me. "I simply did not wish for anyone to go into here with you."

"Uh-huh," I teased. "You know, if you want a kiss from me, you have to actually let me near you."

She faltered for a moment. "If I were to let you near me, would you actually kiss me? You have had plenty of chances to do that and you have not."

True… but… "And you really think not allowing me to touch you is the way to go?"

"It is not me that has issues with feelings, Robin," she snapped.

"Well, I know what I want."

I'm surprised that the mop didn't break with the way she was holding it. Why is she so nervous about a kiss if that's what she wants?

"And what is that?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"I want my best friend back, okay? I'm tired of this. I just wanted to talk."

She huffed. "You used sleight of hand to pull my name, did you not? You had a slip of paper prepared for this."

Caught. Darn. I grinned at her. "Aww, c'mon, what was I supposed to do? You won't even come near me."

Her eyes flared in anger. "Because every time I do, you find a way to touch me."

"C'mon, Robin, get it ooooooon," Hot Spot bellowed.

"Friends touch each other," I said, trying to reason with her. "I'm not doing anything inappropriate."

"Friends do not touch each other that much and certainly not in the places you touch me."

"I just wanted to spend some time with you." I miss you.

"We can do that outside the closet. I do not mind spending time with you, Robin. I just ask that you do not touch me."

Lies. I'd been _trying_ to spend time with her and she keeps avoiding me. "Yeah, right, sure you don't mind spending time with me, except that you've been avoiding me like the plague," I said and jerked my head. "They're all having this great big laugh, because I'm the one chasing after you when you're the one begging for a kiss." I hate this, why can't we go back to being friends?

She shifted her grip on the mop and for a moment I thought she'd whack me with it. "I do not recall begging. And since when do you care about what other people thought?"

"They have a point. This cat and mouse game is ridiculous."

"You know how to end it."

She's the one that needed to end it. This no touching thing was ridiculous. "If you're that desperate for a kiss," I growled. "I bet there are loads of other guys willing to give you one."

She went white. "And you would be the okay with that?"

Oh… shit… no way. If you're kissing anyone it's me. I'm not letting Speedy get his hands on you. But I'm not kissing you either… Gah! Dick, make up your fucking mind!

She ranted at me. "Perhaps I should! Perhaps I should have placed my name in the bowl. I might have gotten Speedy," – she just had to mention Speedy!– "or Aqualad, or Cyborg, I am certain _they_ would oblige me. In fact, perhaps I should seek them now!" She dropped the mop and lunged for the door, but I blocked her.

"I didn't mean that," I apologised. "It was uncalled for. I'm sorry."

She huffed and moved away. "I do not want the 'loads of guys'. I want it from you but you do not seem to deem me worthy enough."

Worthy… God… I'm the one that's not worthy of her. It's… so many things… I can see what we could have becoming serious… very serious… and I'd have to leave her if I was to complete my dream of going to Bludhaven. I couldn't ask her to come with me. I had goals, I had to keep them in my sights… time for friendship, but no time for romance. Right?

"It's not about being worthy, Star," I said with a sigh. "I'm not about to kiss anyone, I've already said that."

"Just as I have said I do not believe your reasons. Offer me another lie."

"I'm not lying."

"I am not blind, Robin. I can see the way you look at me. Why do you deny yourself?"

Why is she trying so hard to pick a fight with me? "Look, I didn't get you in here to fight—"

"Then, what was your plan? Have your seven minutes of Starfire touch? Talk me into doing the 'caving'? Try and seduce a hug from me? Then you could say you have won and things would return to the way you want them?"

"Kiss him good, Starfire!" Bumblebee yelled, followed by more thumps.

"Well, of course I wanted to talk to you about this crap," I snapped. "You've been avoiding me and it was the only way I could think of to get you to stop for a sec and talk to me. This is just stupid, and it's certainly not getting you anywhere, is it? Besides," I finished bitterly, "you can't seduce anyone without hands. Raven took care of that for you. So you don't have to worry about me stealing your hugs."

"Really?" she asked in a seductive voice. "Would you, perhaps, like to make the bet?"

Wait… "What?"

She changed. One second she was fiery and angry and the next…

Ohmygodsexonlegs.

What's she doing? _What's she doing_?

Oh. Crap. Bad move on my part. She'd taken that as a challenge.

Where'd she get that look from? Her face, cheeky and naughty at the same time. Oozing sex appeal, swishing hips, breasts pushed out, _breasts_— they jiggled with every hip swishing step she took toward me.

I took a step back but there was nowhere to go and I thumped into the door.

The chorus of catcalls and whistles outside the door increased. Someone pounded on the door. "You can doooo et!" Speedy yelled.

She reached me and I pressed myself harder into the door. I don't… I can't… god, she's so sexy…

She bent at the waist, leaning toward me. She clasped her hands in front of her, her upper arms pushing her _boobs closer together_!

"Why, Robin, what is the matter?" she crooned at me. "Has your game turned against you?"

Yes. Definitely yes… "What are you doing?"

She raised one hand, placed it against the door beside my head, the other hand… it was down near my hip… I could feel the warm radiating from her. She smelt awesome, jasmine… and lovely… and she somehow moved closer, her body matching the shape of mine, even though she wasn't touching me. Oh, oh, her _leg_ is between mine!

"I believe I am proving a point," she purred.

"Is it quiet in there yet? Do you think they're making out?" Aqualad asked.

I completely forgot what I was thinking about. "Ah… oh… um… what point is that?"

Her luscious lips parted, her tongued darting out to moisten them. She's going for it. She's just going to kiss me, take away the decision on my part because, let's face it, if she kisses me, there was no way in hell I was going to turn her down, not after that.

Except she didn't, she breathed on my skin, all the way to my ear, my stomach tickling nervously in response. Damn it all… now I _wanted_ her to kiss me.

"You cannot treat me like you would a girlfriend, and then deny what we share. It does not work that way."

Umm… um… remember all those well thought out and totally bogus reasons you have for not kissing her? "You don't want to date me, Star. I'd always be worried about you in battle. I'd be overprotective. You'd hate it."

Her breath against my neck. "If I cannot date you, then respect my wishes and stop touching me."

I swallowed. Hid behind flippant response. "I'm not touching you now."

Her breath fanned against my neck, over my jaw line as she moved her face back until it was level with mine. "Nor am I touching you."

I'd have given her practically anything she wanted right then. "Okay, okay, I promise to stop. No touching unless I have to."

Back to whisper in my ear. "This is not funny, Robin. You are hurting me."

God, Starfire, stop tormenting me. Either kiss me, or move away, because I can't think with you this close. "I don't want to hurt you, Star."

She pulled back again, her lips so close to mine I could feel their heat, feel the skin brushing against mine. So close, so close, all I'd have to do is lean forward just a little and she'd be mine. "Then kiss me, you fool," she purred.

Oh… fuck me…

I had to, I had to. The want was so damn great, the pull of her voice so fucking strong it was hard not to just do it straight away.

Except, I always think too much. What was it she wanted? Cupped face, hands on waist… hold her so tight…

I can't hold her. I can't. Not with Raven's stupid bindings.

Gotta get free, need to hold her. "Shit," I chanted, struggling more now. "Shit, shit, shit." I gulped. "Star… I… can't."

The spell broke.

Suddenly I was falling backward and onto the floor, and Starfire's stepping over me and sauntering across the room to Raven.

I rolled onto my stomach, staring at her. Had that just happened? Did I imagine it?

"What happened?" Raven asked Starfire.

Starfire leant back on the sofa and posed for me, smiling seductively. "Absolutely nothing."


	7. Shower

**Shower**

_Dick, Age 18_

_Chapter 19 of Masks._

_Requested by a lot of people._

* * *

><p>After a hard training session with Bruce, the last thing I expected was for Starfire to completely strip in front of me and head into shower in the locker room. It was like she didn't even think about it, just sat on the bench and removed her shoes, and kept going.<p>

The exercise itself was enough to keep my mind semi busy. I could concentrate on other things, not what happened. Running, strenuous exercise, fight through the pain, it was all good to keep me occupied, but when I stopped, things crept back.

Jason, the sound of the crowbar, Starfire's listless body. Pain and failure.

I was half watching, of course, half aware of her like I have been all the time. I sat on the bench behind her, staring at my hands while I just sat blindly for a while, trying to gather the energy and courage to head for the showers and remembering the conversation Jason and I had the last time we were here… if only I'd done things different.

I was aware of her taking off her shoes and socks, but when the shirt and bra followed, I just snapped straight to attention.

My eyes riveted on her as she gathered up the toiletries Alfred had left and wandered into the shower. I watched her ass wiggle as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, waiting for the water to warm. I watched as she tested it, before turning so she was under it and sighed contently. I watched the water trail over her orange skin and perfectly presented breasts. She lifted her arms, her head tilting back.

She hadn't even closed the door. It's wide open, steam pouring through the door and she's standing in shower completely naked.

All my fantasies couldn't compare to this moment. Should I join her? Was this an offer? I mean… we really hadn't talked about continuing our sexual relationship at all, I thought… maybe… she didn't want to do it again. That it had been a once off, because we'd been… I'd been out of it. I was still out of it most of the time, pulling away from her, but not being strong enough to leave her completely alone. Grief was still to raw.

She'd said I hadn't hurt her, but I… aren't girls supposed to feel pain that first time? Maybe it's different because she's not even the same species as me, and I can't expect that she's wired the same. Plus, I'm well aware the hymen can break very easily through vigorous exercise and she is a hero… If she had a hymen at all. And I was fairly certain she'd never had any other partners, she'd been too young for that when she'd come to Earth and she'd never gone out on a date with anyone. I knew Tamaranians and humans had sex the same way, we'd already covered that particular topic a long time ago, in the same topic we'd had about jerking off… yeah. That was fun.

Also… well, I'd deliberately not gotten any condoms. She assured me that we were probably not compatible but having them around would be just too tempting to try sex again. I didn't want to push again. I mean, she said it surprised her, but it wasn't unwanted, but there was still that haunting, guilty feeling that I'd pushed her into it when I shouldn't have.

But she's standing there, in the shower, completely naked and I'm drinking in the sight and remembering what it was like to be inside her and—

She blinked open her eyes and turned her gaze to me. "What?"

"Um…"

She looked concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"Nooooo." How could anything possibly be wrong? There's a naked girl flaunting herself in front of me and she's my girlfriend. Permission to look.

She shrugged and reached for the shampoo. A normal girl would be embarrassed. A normal, human girl would have probably discussed it with me or been coy about her appearance, flirtatious and inviting, but Starfire's just so natural. She hadn't thought anything wrong with stripping off in front of me.

"Sometimes I forget you're Tamaranian and you don't see things the same as I do."

She lathered up her hair, regarding me curiously. "What does that mean?"

"You just stripped in front of me."

Her head tilted. "Yes." She paused, dropped her arms as she considered what she'd just done. "Do you mind? I thought it would the okay with you since you have already seen me naked."

"No, I don't mind, I'm kind of enjoying it, actually. It's just… before was kind of an accident. Plus, you were injured, it doesn't count."

She smiled like I'd made a joke. "We had coitus, Dick."

I pulled a face. "Coitus? That sounds so technical."

"Would you prefer I call it… how did Beast Boy describe it—" she tapped her lips with her fingers. "I believe it has something to do with chickens and their 'funkiness'. Or was it monkeys?"

Gross. "I'd prefer it if you didn't parrot whatever Beast Boy called it. That's just wrong. 'Making love' is fine. Thanks."

"Very well, we have made with the love. Why should you be concerned at seeing me naked?"

"I don't know. I guess because that was kind of an accident too… I didn't… I mean…"

"You do not think I would wish to do it again?"

She'd been thinking about. I just _knew_ she'd been thinking about it as much as I had. "I don't know," I said, feigning nonchalance. "I hadn't thought about it."

"Liar," she cooed at me. "I do not mind sharing my naked form with you." Smiling at me seductively, she turned her back and looked over her shoulder at me, dragging her hair away from her back. "Perhaps you would like to assist me in the cleansing process?"

I just couldn't get in there fast enough.

I wasn't sure, though, 'cleansing process', does that mean I can touch her anywhere? My hands clenched into fists once or twice before I dared put them on her waist. When she didn't react, I slipped my hand up to her rips. Still nothing, beyond an indulgent smile. Guess its okay then. Great!

I was already pretty damn hard just from her little tease, Starfire's eyes dropping to it to regard my cock with a sense of curiosity (well, sorry, but calling it a dick is just wrong for me). I was kind of smugly pleased by her fascination, even though I could tell she was trying not to be obvious about it. Well, let her look, it means I can look at and _touch_ her too.

Breasts first, so perky and wet and perfect, I dragged my fingertips along them, using both hands, memorising everything about her.

Mask was off, we've had sex once, she's fair game now.

But, I'm supposed to be cleaning her, so I reached for the soap. It's really just an excuse to touch her, lather her up with soap, rub my hands over her skin and wash her. She giggled at me, belly so tight, she's ticklish around her stomach.

"Turn around," she cooed at me.

I lifted an eyebrow at her, but did what she asked as she reached for the shampoo. She pressed herself against my back, I could feel the points of her nipples brush against me as she washed my hair, her fingers massaging as she lathered the soap, and then washed my chest as I tilted my head back to rinse my hair.

Her hand pressed against my back, followed my spine until it reached the small, then stopped.

I couldn't take it anymore. Her touch was just so arousing, I needed…

I turned, grabbed her ass and pulled her to me, so that our pelvises were together and I was pressed up against her belly. "You're a tease."

She draped her arms over my shoulder, the water beating on her back. "I do not see how, since I invited you."

"You've never been so brazen before. It's really hot."

Had to have her. I attacked her lips and pushed her up against the wall. Pressed our chests together, our hips. Kissed her hard and deep and immersed myself in her taste and touch. Hands on her breasts, her ass, her belly. Dropping my fingers down, just to see if she'd let me. Her thighs trembled, but she parted her legs a bit so I could explore. My fingers dipped inside her, desperate to remember that feeling of being whole and forgetting everything else.

I bent, taking a perky nipple in my mouth while my fingers explored. I had no idea what I was doing, but she was so wet and warm and making these incredible sorts of noises that I'd never heard before and they were so encouraging…

And when she dared to run a finger along me from base to tip and tease the head, everything focused on how she touched me down there and I couldn't stand it.

I groaned and buried my head in her neck. Had to have her. Had to. Need so strong I couldn't fight it. But how…? I lifted my head. "Star… I…" Grow a pair, Dick, just ask her. "I don't know how to ask."

"Ask what?"

So embarrassing, but I needed her, needed to feel complete. Needed to be sensible. Can't risk twice without protection, but maybe, she'd let me be inside her and not move. Even that was dangerous, but the frustration at not being complete was too strong. That need for sensation, to be inside her. How can I be reduced from a sensible hero to a pathetic horny teenager so fast? "Um… Star, I don't have… I haven't had time to… but… can I be inside you?"

She gasped at me, shifted her weight from side to side and something clenched around my fingers. "I thought you did not wish to—"

"I'll get some tomorrow," I interrupted, then promised, "I won't move." What would she accept? I'm a horny boy, gimme sex. No, Star needs it to be romantic. "I just… I want to be close to you." It's a truth, it is. It's the ultimate closeness.

"Oh," she said then nodded. "I do not mind."

Thank god for that. I smiled at her, then frowned, having no clue what to do next. "How do we… I mean, it would be easier if you could fly, but..."

"Oh," she said again, considering. "What if…?" Starfire shifted and lifted a foot to brace against the wall. My fingers, still inside her, felt what a difference that made, everything opened up. Wow.

I fumbled a bit, it was very awkward but then we'd never done this before. Still, she was so warm and encompassing, taking me as I pushed inside her and it took my breath away. "I don't know how they make it look so easy in movies."

"Possibly it helps I am taller?"

I chuckled, then groaned, movement like that just sent so many sensations through me, it was incredible. "Shouldn't laugh," I said. "Damn that feels good."

"Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me, you fool."

Oh, I love it when she says that. It's so sexy and I can't help myself. If she'll let me be inside her like this, I'll give her all the kisses she wants.

You wouldn't believe how hard it was to restrain myself. I knew I couldn't push for more, besides the fact that we had no condoms, if I scared her or hurt her, she might never let me do this again. And I liked it, so much, such an incredible feeling. Had to be content with little flexes, she'd let me rub myself against her before, this was no different, except that I was inside her and it felt so awesome.

So hard to reign myself in. "This is okay?" I asked her, my breath shaky. Had to make sure, had to make certain.

"Yes," she mumbled, her mouth on my shoulder, her hands spread across my back against my ribs.

"God, you feel so good," I murmured.

Because we were standing, I didn't have to support my weight on my arms and she was taller which really did help positioning. I didn't have to bend down and I was able to run my hands up and down her body, cup her breasts, travel downward to her ass and press myself inside deeper.

Everything else dropped away. My mind, which had been so heavy with thoughts, guilt driven and full of turmoil and second-guessing, was empty of everything but how good this felt, to be encompassed by warmth and feel surrounded and sexual pleasure even if it was unfulfilled. Nothing else. Just her and how good she made me feel. I didn't want to lose that feeling. Needed that feeling.

I was beginning to think the little movements weren't enough, needed more. I was at that point I always had to break away from her in the past, but this time… we were already having sex. I wonder what she'd do if I just started moving more, pulled out when I was close. Or maybe asked her for a hand job or… something… anything.

Neither of us quite expected the "Ahem," followed by a loud, exaggerated cough.

Oh. Shit. _Alfred_.

We stared at each other in horror. "Yes?" I croaked.

"Master Bruce wishes to remind you that you are required downstairs. When you are finished."

"Um… okay… we're coming."

"I did not require that knowledge."

"Gah!" I complained, pulling out and taking several rapid steps away from Starfire. "I mean, we're on our way!"

"Very good, young master."

Starfire turned off the shower while I peered out of the cubical, still so hard, but the shock of being sprung was overriding my need to finish. Alfred's timing is always impeccable, I'd been so close just to… being very stupid. I was already making plans to go get condoms so we could try again, sensibly this time. "Was he laughing at us? I think he was laughing at us."

"Perhaps such activities are better suited for the bedroom," Starfire said, blushing crimson.

"No kidding," I said. The sooner, the better. "All the times he's caught Bruce in a compromising position, and now he's laughing at me. Alfred's such a voyeur."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_Okay, so that time was better than the first, but you can see the mentality coming I'm sure. Dick recognises it as a way to escape. _

_Next up: Katergator's request.  
><em>


	8. Wake

**Wake**

_Starfire, Age 25  
><em>

_Chapter 47 of Promise. Starfire's point of view when she wakes after the explosion at the Watchtower.  
><em>

_Requested Katergator. Beware angst alert.  
><em>

* * *

><p>It was the warrior who woke me. The irksome, encompassing feeling that I was not safe, there was a battle to be fought and I could not afford to be complacent and sink into sleep. If I slept now, I would die. Wake, warrior soul, protect.<p>

Once the warrior had fought my consciousness to the surface of my mind, the pain took hold. It grabbed on to me, entangled me, it was everywhere, all at once caused me to scream, caused me to cry, tears leaking from my eyes. My back arched from the surface I was on, (bed?) and I was shrouded in green energy.

White roof, unknown roof. Things in me, embedded in my skin. My right eye was swollen and watery and I could barely see through it and my head hurt and there was stickiness on my forehead. My wrist was wrong. My shoulder hurt. My stomach—

Burning. I smell burning. Fire. Explosion. So close. Attack, someone was attacking!

Someone was holding me down. Someone was pressing against me, my legs cannot move, there are iron grips encompassing my ankles. I struggled to break free and the same grips dropped on my wrists.

My energy burns. How dare they touch me, restrain me. They will not live to know what they have done!

Someone was screaming and yelling and there's a face upside down above me black and cold and—

Still being held down, I struggled. Other faces now. People lay across my legs, trying to contain my kicking. A woman had an arm and someone restrained the other in a way that suggests that arm may have been damaged.

Dick, where is Dick?

So much pain. What is going on? Where am I? What happened? Am I safe? Can I sleep and run from this pain? My chest hurts…

Warbling, a voice coming from so far away, my name. Turning my head, I saw Raven, asleep on the bed beside me.

Raven.

_Raven_.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Where is Dick?

There is another in the room. Green, elongated face, and for a moment I saw Psion…

_No!_

I screamed, my back arching from the bed again as I began to thrash harder. Pain scorched through my arm, bone scraped and I knew it was broken.

_Let me go!_

The two males on my legs were thrown from the force of my movements. I called upon more of my energy, they would burn if they continued to hold me. The woman snatched her hands away.

Galfore's voice, loud and strong, commanding them away and then I was free.

Tears streaked down my face, the pain was so strong, starbolts curled around my hands.

I cast my eyes around the room. Raven, protect Raven.

I leapt from the bed but my legs would not support my weight and I half collapsed before I could float. I positioned myself between Raven and those surrounding me, my unbroken arm extended. "Stay back!"

Faces and voices all swimming together, tears blurred by vision, everything went dark for a moment before it all came back. Sounds coming to me from a great distance, watery sounds. Everything swirled together, sound and light, pounding in my head. My energy hurt, everything hurt but I could not rest. Fought against the need to be unconscious.

I blinked and shook my head but it only made my vision worse. I half collapsed against something metallic, it buckled under my weight and clattered to the ground, but I managed to slump against Raven's bed.

Among the swirling faces, I saw Cyborg. "Cyborg?"

He came closer, edged toward me and I dropped my hand. "You've been hurt, little lady," he said. "We're just tryin' to help."

"But… Psions…" I turned my gaze to the green man, but his face swirled again and I recognised him. "Oh," I said, sagging in relief. "J'onn."

More faces, Superman holding his jaw. Wonder Woman running her hands under water. Bruce, his cowl pushed back. Galfore. Beast Boy. Arsenal. Flash. Argent. So many faces.

Where is Dick? Tears streaked down my cheeks from the pain. Everything was spotty, hazy, but I held on. I frowned as I struggled to remember. Gretchen… Gretchen had called breach and bomb and I had only enough time to surround myself with energy before the world exploded. Dick had been… I gasped. "Dick?" I called, hoping to see his face appear among the swirls. Has he been hurt too?

A sudden tension filled the air.

"Oh, shit," Cyborg said, looking around.

Bruce turned. "Flash! Where is he?" he snapped, his voice sharp, cutting. Crisp.

Horror filled me. Oh. _X'hal_. No…

"He said he needed a minute—"

He was not here? He was missing? No… not by the expression on Bruce's face. Not missing. If he was not hurt then he saved me… and left… I closed my eyes. "Gone."

Bruce was snapping, issuing orders, people moving and clearing the room and, "Get on to Oracle. Find him!"

Cyborg's hands were on my shoulders. "We don't know that," he said in a futile attempt to calm me. "You know he hates it when you're hurt."

But I need him. So much pain. I cannot see, why is he not here? What could have been so important that he could not be found?

I cried out against the rush of heart pain which swamped me and collapsed into Cyborg's arms. They could not find him, which meant he had gone after the one that did this. He did not even stay to make certain I was okay. "_Gone_." He left me to suffer. "Dick, _please_." Let this be the joke. Let him just be taking solace in being alone. Let him hear me and come.

_X'hal_ be merciful, why does it hurt so much?

"Dick—" I wailed.

Cyborg wrapped his arms around me, picked me up. "Star, we need to treat you first, you badly hurt."

I struggled. "I have to find him!"

"We gotta take care of you—"

"No, you do not understand—"

"Starfire, we know," Cyborg said, his voice stern and commanding as he placed me on the bed. "Oracle'll find him. We need to worry about you. Then we'll go look for him."

I tried to be calm, truly I did. I tried to relax on the bed, but I was twitchy, anxious.

J'onn came closer. "Miss Starfire, we are going to administer some morphine while we set your wrist and treat your wounds."

"No!" I cried, frantic. Even though Cyborg and the others did not know, I had to put my child's safety first. "No human painkillers, I am pregnant, it will hurt my baby—"

Cyborg's face was sympathetic. "Starfire—" he began and shook his head.

Did he already know? Oh, of course, his instruments he would have had to scan me.

"Very good," J'onn replied with a nod. "Is there another painkiller you can use?"

Movement around me stilled, I was confused but I had to do what was best for my child. "_Vydosa _extract._" _I twisted my head. "Galfore—_"_

Galfore nodded. "I have some in my chamber."

"I'll get it," Superman said and vanished.

"The baby?" Cyborg asked, staring at J'onn.

J'onn regarded Cyborg expressionlessly. "What about the child?"

"It's… alive?" Cyborg choked out.

I frowned. Of course it was alive; I could feel the energy passing between us. Why did Cyborg sound so surprised?

"Undoubtedly," J'onn said and inclined his head. "Ahh, the infantile mind, so refreshing—"

"Oh god," Cyborg moaned.

I gripped Cyborg's arm so hard the metal crunched. "Does Dick think otherwise?"

He tried to explain. "Star, I couldn't get a reading—"

My eyes grew wide. "Did you tell him it was gone?"

Cyborg's brow furrowed but he answered. "Yes."

_X'hal_. No. _Nonono_… if he thought… I lifted my voice. "_Gretchen_!"

Nothing. My heart thudded painfully as I waited.

"Starfire—"

"Serena!" I called again, appealing to the Watchtower's AI. "Voice recognition code, Koriand'r T05! Locate AI designation Gretchen!"

A computerised voice. "Gretchen II will activated in T minus two hours, forty nine minutes."

Gretchen II.

Dick had activated Night Phoenix.

…

Panic and frenzy, they had sedated me before I had reached the door. Superman, Galfore, Batman, all fighting to restrain me, not damage me further but I would not give up.

Dick was going to die. He would not have activated the Night Phoenix call unless he thought he would. He had heard that our child was dead and gone off on the suicide mission. He did not even care enough about me to be here when I discovered it.

Oh, that was wrong and bad of me to think. Undoubtedly, he was as grief stricken as I would have been if it were the truth. But there were so many people around. So many people now looking for him, why did he have to go alone?

Was I not important enough to him to offer at least a moment's pause? For him to at least be here when I woke?

I can burn through sedation. It takes time and agony, but I can do it. But I did not… to what end? What could I do? I was already damaged. And with Night Phoenix, he did not wish to be found.

Batman promised me he would find Dick. Everyone was looking. They would find him and bring him back. I just had to hope they found him before he killed himself. Had to hope that Gretchen would look after him, that my coding had worked.

My wounds hurt, but with _vy__dosa _extract, everything was lessened. I floated in and out of cognitivity, lying on the bed while my wounds were treated and my wrist plastered to keep me from hurting it again.

Raven woke during my panicked dash toward the door and she hovered at my side, treating what she could, mostly the normal way, I could sense she was trying to save something for Dick. Just in case.

"Raven," I mumbled in one of my more lucid moments. "Save your strength."

"Starfire—"

"Dick will need you."

Tears fell from her eyes. "Azar, he's such an idiot." She placed a hand on my forehead. "Stop fighting it, Star. Sleep."

I shook my head and cried with her. "Cannot. Need to see him."

"You'll make yourself worse."

"Would you sleep if it was Beast Boy?"

Raven sighed. "No."

My head lolled and I stared at the door, my body weak, willing the cursed thing to open and my Dick to walk through.

But he did not.

I waited.

…

An alarm began to blare. Raven lifted her head, her hand clenching on my shoulder and then she warped away. A flurry of activity. Flash arrived, blood-soaked hands and I felt my stomach drop.

Footsteps and running and voices echoing through the corridors. The doors crashed open, a trolley being brought through, so many people around I could not see, needed to see.

Raven was kneeling over the person on the bed, chanting, her eyes glowing with power.

Blood drenched the sheet. Dark and red, unforgiving.

_Dick_.

People were issuing orders, calling for carts and medicals instruments and bandages. Others were clearing the room, frightened eyes from beyond the medical bay doors.

Bloody and battered, I could not recognise him. But the uniform was his. It was his blood soaked hair. Eyes open and staring, breath rattling in his chest.

I clawed the air, screaming, my hands outstretched for him. Argent's powers slammed me back down on the bed and held me there, red energy cocooned me.

I was screaming and wailing and calling his name and he did not answer me.

Batman took my hand and the red energy around me released. He regarded me mournfully, then bent down to gather me into his arms. He sat on the bed and I clutched at him and cried.

J'onn began to close the curtains around us.

"No," Batman murmured. "Please."

So much frenzy around him. So much activity. People and equipment. Orders being issued and Raven rising above him, Argent feeding her what energy she could.

Batman was talking to me. Soothing words as he stroked my back.

And then Raven stopped. Tears streaming down her face, she shook her head and pressed her hand to her belly. "I can't."

My world stopped.

"I can't give anymore," she told me tearfully. "Not without losing my son. I'm sorry, Star, it's up to Dick now."

J'onn and Argent moved around Dick with more purpose now, Argent taking control of Dick's care as Cyborg helped Raven down. She is a good doctor too, without Raven's skill at healing, Dick was in good hands. Raven staggered to my bed and sat beside us, weeping and Cyborg sat down too, hugging her close.

I went numb. No more tears. Just watch and hope and pray as Argent and J'onn worked. Cyborg went back to help, passing over needles and threads, bandages and hooking up a blood transfusion. Beast Boy crept in to hold Raven, his face pale and his eyes red.

I closed my eyes, and pressed my face into Batman's neck and did not watch anymore.

Time passed and we did not lose him. He struggled with life, but he did the hanging on. The painkillers they had given me grew harder to resist, but I could not sleep. _Would_ not sleep.

Not until…

Either he woke, or he passed on, but I would be there for it.

I would be there for him, even if he could not be there for me.


	9. Scars

**Scars**

_Starfire, Age 16-18_

_Set before Masks.  
><em>

_Requested Sunnyvalley._

* * *

><p>I believe it really started the first time I saw Robin without a shirt.<p>

We were sixteen and it was my very first trip to the beach. Raven had grudgingly taken me to the mall of shopping to aid me in my search for the appropriate article of clothing she had called a swim suit. She directed me away from the triangular shaped clothing she named bikinis to the more 'modest' one pieces. I found a pink floral one suit, which had a frill at the front between the breast and the back of it was cut away to resemble the bikini from behind.

I tried it on and it was deemed acceptable by Raven. Which was good, because at that stage I was still becoming used to the varying degrees of modesty humans insisted on. She insisted that I buy the woven sunhats too, although I now know it was because she did not wish to be the only one on the beach wearing one.

Cyborg organised the food, Beast Boy organised the games, running around in a pair of red shorts of board and a white substance on his face which I later learned was called zinc, and Robin grudgingly agreed to come, wandering out with a pair of green short of board, a white long sleeved shirt and his ever present mask.

At the time, I was not sure why he went bright red when he saw my new outfit, nor the stammering he underwent when he first tried to speak to me. Hindsight tells me it was because of his growing attraction for me.

We had a pleasant lunch at the beach, playing the various beach sports like the volleyball and the Frisbee with Beast Boy acting as the dog, while Raven sat under the shade of an umbrella and read a book. Cyborg demonstrated how to build the sandcastles and I had a most enjoyable time burying him in the sand.

So much water. My planet does not have vast stretches of open land, so I was most entranced by the waves. Robin explained to me they were caused by the gravity pull on the moon as it went around the Earth, and I nodded, giving him the precise mathematical formula of the gravitation pull required to create such waves.

Mathematics is, after all, universal. Force, motion, mechanics, it is all the same.

After he stammered about that while I stood in the water and watched it swell around my toes, he asked me if I wished to learn how to surf.

"Surf?"

"We get on a board and ride the waves. It's easy, I can show you."

I was confused. "Why would you wish to… ahh… it is the fun, yes?"

"Yeah," he said. "It's also a good test of balance skills."

"Very well, show me this surf."

Robin flashed me a grin. "Stay there," he said.

I turned my gaze back to the water, wondering how one would surf.

When Robin returned to me, he was only carrying one board. "We'll have to share," he said. "It's better to partner when you're just learning."

I nodded and then turned my head to look at him, my voice dying in my throat. He had removed his shirt.

It was the first time I had seen him so unclothed. My eyes automatically skipped over his chest.

Warriors on my planet often went without their shirts, even on some occasions without their pants. They proudly showed off their warrior physique, their various battle scars.

Robin was… quite well defined for so small and not yet mature human. I had not realised how much his uniform hid. Shapely chest muscles, defined stomach tone, his arms appeared to have abundant limb strength, but I knew that from the amount of time he spent using his arms to propel his body around.

There was a scar on his shoulder. A circular one, puckered and red, it looked to be still healing, perhaps a year old. There were other ones too, a long white line below his left nipple, a small burn on his stomach, but it was the one on his shoulder that drew my attention.

"Star?" Robin asked, frowning at me, and I suddenly became aware that he was talking.

"My apologies," I replied, flushing.

"What were you thinking about?"

I hesitated, then reached out to place my fingertips against the scar.

Robin shuddered and moved away from my touch, his expression darkening.

"My apologies," I said again. "Does it pain you still?"

Robin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No. More, the memory of it. Don't worry about it."

I would later discover that scar was a bullet wound from the Joker and the Batman had 'fired' Robin because he had been injured. I had not understood that, Robin was a warrior and a leader. Such injuries are commonplace.

Robin and I spent an enjoyable time doing the 'learning how to surf', which mostly consisted of my sitting on the board and Robin doing the paddling behind me while I kept my balance. At the time, I had not seen him laugh so much every time I fell from the board.

Robin never seemed to like his scars. I think he saw them as a burden, or a weakness, but I saw them as strength. We never discussed them until we became a couple two years later.

It was during one of our first make out sessions. He was becoming a little more daring, I suppose. More relaxed into being in a relationship and being intimate with me. Gloves, belt and cape always came off, my gloves included and we were starting to kick off our boots as well. Robin did like my legs. He liked to run his hand up the outside of my thighs on his way to my breast.

My back was to his bed as he kissed me, his hand over my breast and I ran my fingers across the small of his back, inside of his shirt, before I slipped them up higher, fingers to his curve of his spine. His shirt was riding up, our stomachs brushed together.

He broke away from my mouth, slightly panty and gave me a lopsided smile. "Do you want me to take my shirt off?" he asked.

Oh, to run hands along him without having to fight his shirt. "Yes, please."

He flashed me an unsure but daring grin. "Do I get to take yours off too? Or is that against the mask rules?"

I swallowed, my stomach suddenly all fluttery. "If you wish."

A wider grin now, as he crawled backwards until he could kneel between my legs and yanked his shirt over his head. He grabbed my wrist, eager, and pulled me so I was sitting so he could dig his fingers under the hem of my top. I lifted my arms so he could pull it off.

I could tell where his eyes were, even if I could not see them and in truth, my eyes were on his skin as well.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured his hand coming up to cup my breast over my bra.

I looked at his shoulder. The scar on it had faded since I had last seen it, now it was just a circular wound, a slightly different colour than the rest of his skin. I placed my fingertips against it, and this time he let me without drawing away. Although, that could have been because he was concentrating on my chest.

"Robin?" I asked.

He lifted his head. "Yes?"

"What is this?"

He turned his head and looked at his shoulder. "Gunshot wound when I was fifteen."

"Oh." I let my fingers drift down the front of his chest until I reached the long scar below his left nipple. "And this?"

"Um… knife wound from Two-Face."

I dipped lower to the burn and Robin stiffened. "This?"

"Acid burn from Poison Ivy… why do you want to know?"

I curled my hair around my ear and ducked my head to press my lips to the scar on his shoulder. "They show you are most courageous. You have more on your back." I knew because I had felt them.

"Um… yeah…"

"May I see?"

He looked confused. "Um… I guess so."

I lifted from the bed, floating around him so I could see his back. Robin lifted one leg to bend before him so he could drape his hands over it.

More scars on his back, mostly thin and nearly invisible white lines. Some deeper scratches or cuts, although there was another burn which he said was an ice burn from Mr Freeze. I ran my fingers over his back, tracing every line. This one was from a training exercise, where he had fallen through a window. That was one was from a lucky shot by Scarecrow. Another was from Penguin's umbrella.

There was a scar at the base of his neck, hidden in the hair line and I ran my fingers over it before I parted my hands to run them down each arm, pressing my chest against his back. He leant back into me, tilted his head back until it rested on my shoulder. "Do you like scars?" he asked.

"I like your scars," I said. "A warrior should display his scars for he has earned them."

"Oh. I always saw them as a weakness."

"They are not. You should proudly wear them for they are a part of you. You are strong and victorious and you are not afraid. I admire that about you."

He seemed embarrassed. "That's what I admire about you," he said. "You always see things so different from anyone else I've met."

"Do you have more?"

He chuckled. "I do, but they're in the mask free zone."

I was disappointed. "Perhaps another day then."

He reached back to take my head as he kissed me. "Perhaps."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_Things in the works: Control Freak Kiss, Chili Popcorn, Alternative Epilogue._


	10. Alternative Epilogue

**Alternative Epilogue.**

_Otherwise what is known as "What would have happened if Dick died at the end of Chapter 49."_

_Beware. Angst alert._**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Today, of all days, it had to rain.<p>

Big, wet droplets, falling from the sky, splattering against the sodden grass. Dark grey storm clouds, this rain was here to stay for a couple of days.

Rain never bothered me. Not really. Not this sort of rain anyway.

I glanced up at the raven arching above our heads to keep us dry and squeezed my husband's hand. "Ready?"

"Not really," he mumbled then sighed, shifting our daughter on his hip. "Yeah."

Staring at the huge gates, I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and started on the wet foot path, tugging the hands I held to a walk.

It's usually so well kept here, and today is no exception, once you look past how sodden everything is with the torrential rain we've experienced over the past few days. We followed the path, always the same, cobblestones and edged with water drenched flowers.

"Why do we have to come here every year?" my son whined.

"Because this is family," I said.

"But I'm wet."

I sighed. "I know."

He huffed and grumbled.

"Joshua," I warned.

"Fine. Sorry Mom."

There were three people standing in the rain, large umbrella's over their heads. A massive Tamaranian, a smaller man, although he was still big by human standards and a tiny, black haired girl in pigtails standing between then, holding each man's hand.

Off to the side, Vic and Sarah stood, waiting for us.

"Sorry we're late," I said as we reached them. "Erika was sleeping."

"We have only just gotten here ourselves," Sarah mumbled, giving me a hug. "Mar'i didn't want to come."

"I don't blame her," Gar said. "It's a hard day."

I looked over to the grave in front of Mar'i, at the headstone.

_Dick and Kory Grayson. Friends, family, lovers. They were Titans among men._

Bruce turned his head and nodded to us, squeezing Mar'i's hand. Galfore lifted his head but didn't look at us. I could sense he was struggling to keep himself emotionally restrained.

"You okay, Rae?" Gar asked.

I sniffled and wiped my cheek. "No. Not today."

When Nightwing had finally been discovered after he'd vanished to extract revenge for Starfire, he's lost too much blood. I'd been weak from healing Starfire, giving her enough energy to hold on. We were too slow to see the extent of his injuries, _I'd _been too slow, comforting Starfire too long and hadn't been gone straight away when he arrived at the Watchtower.

He bled out before we could get a transfusion going. His heart gave out. It remains one of the worst days of my life. One of my worst mistakes. A second would have made all the difference. If I'd gone straight away, if I'd been able to heal just for a little longer, he would have been stable enough for Argent and J'onn.

I lost my brother that day.

He never even knew his child has survived. His whole reason for what he did, and he didn't get to know she'd lived.

Starfire… couldn't handle it. She was injured and heartsick and… collapsed straight into a healing sleep.

Two weeks later, and she made no sign of waking. It was like she'd given up. We did what we could for her.

Galfore said it was… not uncommon among their people. Especially for one such as Starfire. They love with everything they have, even if they chose to partner with many, once they find that one person they bind themselves to them.

Starfire died when Dick did.

Her body survived. Her mind survived but when she came out of that healing sleep a month later, she was never the same. I never saw her fly again. She wasn't Starfire anymore. Just Koriand'r. Just the warrior.

Over time, and over the course of her pregnancy, she recovered. Slowly and surely, we all rallied around her, giving her the support she needed. I felt her emotions lift as she threw herself into preparations for the birth of her child.

She took his name, said it was hers and cherished the piece of him he left behind.

Starfire confided in me that she blamed him for a while. Blamed him for leaving her alone, blamed him for not being there when she woke. She hated and loved him for that.

She never could bring herself to view the obituary Dick left for her.

We thought Starfire was getting better. She loved being pregnant. Loved the feel of her baby growing inside her. She moved in with Gar and I, so we could share in our pregnancies together, so we could be there for her. She was laughing and smiling again and when she held Joshua for the first time, I thought for a moment she'd fly away with happiness.

When her baby arrived, she was alone. No husband or father of her child standing beside her. No one there for her. She didn't even call for help.

Turns out, she couldn't.

Mar'i came so quick, so fast, Starfire didn't have time.

We found her in the bathroom, the bottom of the bath covered in blood and Starfire cradling that little dark haired girl. She looked up at me and smiled and said, "Her name is Mar'i."

It was a Starfire smile. So beautiful and giving, so wonderful. At peace.

My last Starfire smile.

She'd haemorrhaged. Mar'i tore something inside her and she'd bleed to death before Gar, Joshua and I got home. Hung on just long enough to tell us her daughter's name before she died.

I have no doubt if Dick'd been alive, it wouldn't have happened.

Starfire's will gave Cyborg and Sarah custody of Mar'i. Starfire's last gift. Cyborg was the only one of us equipped to take care of Tamaranian baby that wouldn't know its own strength. They'd lost a sister and gained a daughter.

I glanced over at Vic to see him struggling not to cry. Mar'i called them Mom and Dad. She loved them greatly, but Vic made sure she never forgot where she came from. Never forgot her beautiful mother and her talented father. Always spent time with her Gootak'norfka and her Grandpa.

Gar squeezed my hand and I smiled at him and wiped my eyes. "Josh, why don't you go and place the flowers. Mar'i will be glad to see you."

Joshua nodded and slipped from my grip, his own little raven forming above him to keep him dry as he wandered over to the grave. I smiled and held out my hands for Erika, snuggling my little blonde beauty while she drooled on my shoulder.

Mar'i turned and smiled at us and ran to hug Joshua in greeting.

We're all raising Mar'i, helping her to become as happy as Starfire, as intelligent as Dick and stronger than them both.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_Aren't you glad I didn't go that direction?_


	11. Kiss

**Kiss (Or How to mess with Nightwing)**

_Starfire._

_Again, countless people have asked for this._ _But, especially for SAT ;p. What?  
><em>

* * *

><p>My unmarried husband made through to that night before the curiosity peaked enough for him to question. "Okay, I can't stand this," Nightwing said, perched on the corner of a building, completely interrupting Gretchen's crime report.<p>

I smothered a giggle and then turned him while maintaining a mildly interested expression. "What is wrong?"

He issued me with a 'Batglare'. "Control Freak. Really?"

"You did give me permission to obtain new languages."

"But… Control Freak?"

"Klingon is a perfectly valid language."

"I'm not debating that. It's _Control Freak_."

"So?"

"He's had a hard on for you for years. And you just… _kissed_ him?"

"No."

He was surprised. "You didn't?"

"I simply pressed my lips to his and transferred language."

"Which is a kiss," he said flatly.

"You Earthlings do so complicate lip contact," I sighed dramatically.

He scowled at me. "You're enjoying this."

I smiled at him. "Immensely."

Nightwing shook his head. "I've put up with a lot for your career, but this takes the cake."

"What _exactly_ have you put up with?" I asked sternly as I folded my arms on my chest and glared.

"Um… er…" he floundered, then waved his hand. "Well that's not the point. The point is you _kissed_ Control Freak. Spill, woman. I want to know how hard I get to kick his ass. C'mon. That's just nasty."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You would prefer I only engage in language transference with handsome young men?"

He chuckled. "Actually, I'd prefer hot girl on girl action that'd you let me watch, but, again, that's not the point." He forced his face to a stern expression. "Starfire. It's Control Freak!"

"I am aware."

"_When_?"

"When what?"

"When did this happen? Was it recently? Was I here? Or we were both still in Jump?"

"We were both still in Jump," I replied.

I could almost see him searching through his brain for all instances we fought Control Freak. "Were you alone? Or did we take him down as a team?"

"I was alone at the time, but you arrived shortly after I had captured him." I decided to allow him a little more information. "You were quite surprised at my efficiency in detaining him."

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't… place… um… what were we detaining him for?"

"Criminal activities."

"Starfire!" he snapped, exasperated.

I sighed. "You truly wish to know?"

"Yes!" he insisted.

I gave him a look. "Are you certain?"

He hesitated. "Is it bad? Was there tongue?"

"Mine or his?"

He covered his eyes with a hand. "Oh. Gross." He pulled a face, his mouth twisting as though he had tasted something bad. "Yuk…"

"What is wrong?" I asked, innocent.

"Bad images. Was it a long language transfer?"

I struggled to keep myself expressionless. "Define long."

"More than a peck."

"Language transfer takes longer the more complex a language is, or the more languages being received at once. Which is why our initial transference took so long."

"I see… I did wonder about that. So, it was shorter than ours? Klingon's not that difficult."

"He is also versed in Romulan and Vulcan."

"God. No. You got more than _one_ language from him? How long did it last?"

I pretended to consider. "Longer than the peck, but not as long as you kiss me in greeting."

He was getting a little angry now. "Star, you're really milking this."

I smiled at him and fluttered my eyelashes. "I am currently not 'milking' anything. Perhaps when patrol is done."

He glowered. "Don't tempt me, woman. Just tell me? Please?"

"It was at a movie premiere."

He frowned as he thought about it. "That… doesn't really narrow it down. It's always a movie premier. Or a game release. Or a ComicCon…"

"Wicked Scary IV."

His frown deepened. "Oh… _oh_!"

I smiled.

He was connecting what he remembered now. "When he was trying to convince everyone that the movie wasn't showing so he'd have the whole cinema to himself? When that didn't work he made the popcorn machine come to life to scare everyone away?"

I nodded.

"And he and Beast Boy got into a fight over the best character in Wicked Scary III and why they shouldn't have died at the end?"

"The Zombie Invasion? Yes."

He scratched his head. "That can't be right. You went off to fight the popcorn machine. You were nowhere near Control Freak."

"You do remember how he disappeared into the cinema screen again?"

"Yeeeeah?" Nightwing asked slowly.

"His control forced me to enter the movie with him."

"You went into Wicked Scary IV?"

"No. I believe at he had transferred it to the romance movie that was on at the time." I tapped my lips. "I cannot recall the name."

"Mustn't have been important," Nightwing muttered.

"It was not the memorable kiss," I conceded.

He squinted at me. "I thought you said it was just a language transfer?"

"He did try to do the wooing of me first."

Nightwing stared at me, his mouth open in horror.

Concerned, I asked, "What is wrong?"

"He _wooed_ a kiss from you?"

"I do enjoy being romanced," I teased.

Nightwing was aghast. "Starfire!"

"Yes?"

He covered his face with his hands. "Let me get this straight. He wooed a kiss from you, which lasted more than a few seconds, _with_ tongue and you never told me?"

I tilted my head at him, my eyes wide and innocent. "Considering how you have reacted, is it any wonder?"

He uncovered his face and gave me a shrewd look. "You're messing with me."

"Not at all."

He flopped down on the ground, his back to the awning of the roof and put his head in his hands. "God damn it." He shook his head. "Damn my curiosity. I really didn't need these images."

I crossed to him and knelt in front of him. "Are you jealous?"

He peered at me through his finger stripes. "Immensely."

I placed my hand on his knee. "My apologies."

He took my hand and interlaced our fingers. "Can I have the truth now?"

"I have not lied to you, Dick."

He groaned.

"He told me that the only way out of the movie was for the 'romantic kiss clause' to complete. Since it was a romance movie, the audience were entitled to a kiss before it ended."

"He tricked you?" he asked in a dangerous voice.

I nodded. "In a sense. I did try kicking between the legs to convince him to release me, but, unfortunately, that did not work."

"He deserved it."

"Since that effort was futile, I picked him up while he was lying on the ground and conducted the language transfer. He could not tell the difference. He swooned and had the bleeding of the nose and fainted and we were released from the movie. Then you found us."

"Oh."

"It was fortunate he knew several fictional languages, so it was not an inane experience for me."

Nightwing considered me. "Is there a difference?"

I blinked. "In what?"

"In a kiss and language transfer?"

"You have never noticed?"

"Our language transfer was a long time ago."

I released his hand, grabbed the front of his uniform and yanked him forward, forcing our lips together. I did not move, open my mouth, or even close my eyes, remaining completely still for a long moment before I shoved him away. "That is language transfer."

He stared at me, stunned. "Oh."

I moved toward him, my fingers reaching for his face as I drew him back to me to attach our lips. Tilting my head, I ran the tip of my tongue against his lips invite him to play. His arms came up around me, his legs dropping flat to entice me closer to him as our lips engaged in the pleasurable human declaration of affection. Straddling his legs, I nibbled on his bottom lip, my tongue stroked his teeth and he opened his mouth further to play. Hands cupped my shoulder blades as I fisted the front of his uniform, pressing our bodies together. He moaned, deep in his throat, a sound which reverberated through me.

I drew back, my breath shaky. "That is a kiss."

He was just as breathless. "Still don't understand. Show me the kiss again."

I smiled and complied.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Sorry, I couldn't do an actual kiss. I grossed myself out. Use your imagination =D_


	12. Interrogation

**Interrogation.**

_Dick, age 25_

_For Peach Tuesday's.  
><em>

* * *

><p>I blinked and squinted at the light suddenly shone in my eyes, lifting a hand to shield them from the glare. The light was so bright I couldn't see past it, the room beyond darkened to black.<p>

"Talk," a voice growled menacingly.

I lifted an eyebrow. "Going a little overboard aren't we?"

A fist thumped down on the table, causing the bowl of fruit in the middle to clatter. "Tell me about Nightwing!"

I smirked. "I know you have a fan girl crush on him."

"You do?" Starfire asked, surprised.

"She does."

"Jake!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, honey," Jake replied. "Shall I show him your shrine?"

I leant forward and moved the lamp so it wasn't blinding me anymore, blinking against the spots in front of my eyes as I focussed on Can. "You have a shrine?"

"No."

Jake snorted and readjusted himself on his chair at their dining table. "She does."

Can smacked him on the chest. "You shuddup. My interrogation."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes at Starfire, who patted my hand.

Can turned her attention back on me. "You're really Nightwing?"

"No. I'm having an affair with Starfire." I raised my finger to my lips. "Shh. He doesn't know."

Can wrinkled her nose at me. "Don't be a little shit."

"Can't help it," I replied.

"Dick," Starfire warned.

I flicked my eyes to my unmarried wife and pressed my lips together. "Sorry."

Jake snorted. "He's human after all, honey. Placated by his girlfriend, just like the rest of us."

"When your girl can fly and shoot bolts from her hands and eyes, and crush your balls with her pinky, it's kind of a good idea to back down every once in a while," I said.

Jake's eyes widened and he winced. "I have no doubt."

"Do not be crude," Starfire muttered.

"Sorry." I smiled at Can. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything! Who's Batman?"

"Nope. Can't give away secrets, Can. Against the rules."

"Whose rules?"

"Batman's. You can ask me about Nightwing or Starfire, but leave the rest of the heroes out of it."

Can frowned. "Okay. When you came to the station as Nightwing, obviously that wasn't you, since you were there as you. Who was that?"

"Robin posed as Nightwing."

"Oh. And the guy on the monitor, the other one posing as you?"

"Red Hood. My brother. Same one from the warehouse."

Can shook her head. "That wasn't Tim. Couldn't have been."

"No, my other brother. He… well…" I glanced at Starfire. "He died when I was eighteen."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Died?"

"Problem with heroes and villains is sometimes they don't stay dead. There are various ways of being brought back to life. Jason… he was always the black sheep. We think… maybe death screwed with his mind a little, but we can't catch him to get him help."

Can narrowed her eyes at me. "Wait… Tim's Robin, isn't he?"

Damn her analytical mind. "Can…"

Her eyes grew wide. "Which makes Bruce Wayne, Batman."

"Which is something if you repeat, you'll probably find yourself mind wiped again."

Starfire turned her head and looked nervously out the window.

"What?" Jake asked, getting a bit jumpy himself.

"I am waiting for him to swoop in. He always knows when Dick is doing something he should not."

I poked Starfire in the ribs. "Thanks. Now I'm waiting for that too."

"So… what happened that night?" Can asked. "You're not… Dick, you were shot in two places, Blockbuster beat the crap out of you. How are you still alive?"

"I'm hard to kill."

"You were _broken_."

I tapped my hand against my wrist. "I still am. I just handle pain differently than most. Also, Raven is a regenerator healer. I was very lucky she was standing by."

"Very," Starfire muttered.

"What happened?" Can asked.

I sighed and leant against the back of the chair, placing my hand on Starfire's back. "Blockbuster came after my family, Can. He… there was an explosion in my base of operations that Starfire got caught in. Blockbuster caused it."

"So, you went after him?"

"Yeah. In a sense. You weren't supposed to be there."

"I guessed that."

I rubbed my hand over my face. "He blew up our apartment, my old home, shot Tim, hurt Starfire. So, I went to take him down. I may have been emotionally compromised at the time, which is part of the reason you guys being there shocked me so much. No one besides myself was supposed to get hurt."

"It was a vendetta run?" Jake asked.

I glanced at Starfire who was watching me with emotions barely in check. "Yes. Kind of. He's a criminal, he did need to be arrested, but I made a mistake going in then. I should have taken backup." I sighed. "Rogers paid for my overconfidence."

"Rogers' death was not your fault," Can said. "You had no way of knowing he'd do that."

"I should have guessed he'd try something like that. He kills indiscriminately."

"Don't shoulder it, Dick," Can said. "Rogers wouldn't have wanted that. You did your best."

I wrinkled my nose. "Doesn't feel like it."

"Why didn't you kill Blockbuster when you had the chance?" Can asked. "You had a gun on him."

"I don't kill, Can. Never have, hopefully never will."

Can frowned and I could see her looking for an instance where I'd killed in self defence at the station. She came up blank. "Oh."

"So, what made you decide to become a hero?" Jake asked, glancing at Can briefly.

"Young and stupid and wanted to impress my father," I said. "Plus, when Batman's your guardian, it's kind of a given. I grew up in a circus, the skills I gained there translated very easily into the life of a crime fighter. I was a lot cockier back then too, sure of myself. Batman trained me up, drilled the skill sets I needed to survive and took me on as his partner, the first Robin." I smiled at Starfire. "Although, being a crime fighter turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Starfire and I met because of that."

Can smiled. "So, Kory? Where'd that come from?"

"My name is Koriand'r," Starfire said. "We decided that Kory Anders would be a good Earthen cover. I have appeared as Kory in several key times in Dick's life."

"Did you two really break up?"

"Nope. Not ever. Just a cover story. It's not like I could have dated her as myself, that'd be too much of a giveaway. It's hard to balance civilian life with that of a hero. Since Starfire wasn't coming with me when I set up in Bludhaven, we decided it would be easier to have my civilian identity single, rather than complicate it with a girlfriend you probably would never get to meet."

"And reintroduce Kory when Starfire came to Bludhaven?" Can asked.

"Yeah."

"You sneak."

"Trained with the best."

"Do you finish work and become Nightwing?" Can asked.

I nodded. "Most days, yeah."

"And I thought my hours were tough," Jake noted. "How do you mange?"

"Years of practice."

"It makes sense," Can said. "All those times you'd suddenly vanish. All those crooks that were inexplicably taken down and not a scratch on you. The Nightwing birdarangs that'd appear. Why did I never notice before?"

"I'm a pretty good liar, Can. Everything can be explained away. All I need to do is suspend belief, and people want to believe the connections they see aren't there."

We talked about a lot of things, from the gadgets I had, to the criminals I'd fought, and to the influence I had on the police station. I told Can about the Evans bust and where I'd gotten some of my information on. We also talked about Redhorn and his corruption and how I'd come to develop the list of corrupt officers.

When we reached the topic of corruption within our Station, Can narrowed her eyes at me. "So… I was under scrutiny?"

"Everyone was. That's why I chose the force, Can. Weed out corruption from the inside. It also gave me better access to police records without hacking in. I did extensive backgrounds on everyone."

"I'm not sure I like that," Can said sternly.

"Sorry."

"You were the one that clean up our station," she said.

I nodded. "Wasn't easy. I didn't know who to trust."

Starfire nodded. "We used to have long conversations about who he could trust at that Station. I was most pleased when he decided that you could be trusted."

"I can't do my job unless I can trust the people I work with," I said.

"But you didn't trust us in return," Can muttered.

I sighed. "I trusted you with what I could, Can."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, obviously you can't tell anyone. We do have a couple of civilians that know our identities. There are a couple of documents you'll need to sign, and you'll have some… precautions… installed around your home."

"Precautions?" Can asked, frowning at me.

"A panic button. You'll get an ident card too, which can be presented to any superhero to identify yourselves. We do find that civilians that know have a tendency to get targeted if that knowledge gets out. Obviously, as Nightwing and Starfire, we won't have a relationship with you to protect the fact that you know. If you ever see me again in uniform, I'll be feigning indifference. We like to err on the side of caution. Plus, now you know, I don't have to hedge around it at work."

Can gave me a shrewd look. "Hedge?"

I winced. "Umm…"

"What do you mean, Dick?"

"Nothing."

"Grayson," Can snapped.

"You won't like it."

"Dick, just tell her," Starfire said.

I ran my hand through my hair. "I… change the way I present information to you so it's more likely you'll see a particular connection."

"You manipulate me?" she snarled.

I cringed. "Kind of?"

Jake placed a hand on Can's shoulder. "Honey, it's no different than what you do to criminals you know are guilty."

"It is so different," Can snapped. "I thought he was my friend."

"I _am_ your friend," I protested.

"Can," Starfire said, soothing. "He has never done it to harm you, only help you make connections with greater speed. Has investigating has not become easier since he joined the team?"

"I don't like being manipulated."

"Truly, it comes as easy to Dick as breathing," Starfire murmured.

"Hey," I complained.

"Do not deny it, Dick," she told me, then addressed Can. "But he does not do it out of spite. He was aiding your own internal processes. Showing you the ways he works things out, but still allowing you to find the solution for yourself. If he did not respect you, he would have simply told you the answer."

"I do not need to be trained. I'm supposed to be training _him_!"

"I was trained by Batman," I said. "And passing along my knowledge. You're getting an insight to something few people do, even if you weren't aware of it."

Can narrowed her eyes at me.

I shrunk back. "I'm sorry? I won't do it again?"

"Better," she snapped. "But I'd rather you did it properly. If I'm not doing things right, I need to know. No more underhanded techniques, you got me?"

"Yes ma'am."

She squinted at me. "You're after my job, aren't you?"

"No. Kindal's job would be better for me," I said, smiling at her meekly, trying to insert some of my failing boyish charm so she'd stop being so mad at me.

Can sighed. "I suppose, that when you leave my team, at least you've imparted your knowledge…"

I nodded earnestly.

Jake laughed.

"What?" Can snapped at him.

"Sorry, but don't you find it funny that we're sitting across from _Nightwing_. And he's being all scared and apologetic toward you? Completely ruins the steadfast, unerring superhero image I had in my mind."

Can looked back at me and giggled. "Certainly not what I expected."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Starfire for help, who just smiled at me and shrugged.

"Okay, stop taking the piss," I muttered. "I have to work with her."

"Well, I have to sleep with her," Jake said.

Can turned her head and regarded her husband. "Oh, really?"

"I got the better deal," he said, immediately. "Despite all the bouncing you do while you sleep."

"At least I don't snore."

I glanced across at the clock on Can's wall. "Look, we should probably go. Still have to drive back to Gotham tonight. Was there any other pressing questions you wanted to ask?"

"Can I meet Batman?" Jake asked.

"No. Probably not."

"How about an autograph?"

"Batman doesn't do autographs."

"Damn."

Can frowned, glanced at Starfire, then dropped her eyes.

"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um…"

I squinted at her. "Can, what?"

"Just… ahh… you said something to Catwoman…"

"Oh." I laughed and interlaced my fingers with Starfire's. "Yeah, Star's pregnant."

Starfire flicked her eyes to me, startled.

Can perked right up. "She is? How did that happen?"

"See, when a man loves a woman… ow ow OW! Star!"

"Refrain from the jokes, please."

"I need that hand," I complained. "The other one's broke. I don't need a matching set, m'lovely."

"So, stop being the ass."

Jake snickered across the table.

"Don't you start," Can said. "I'm still cross at you for the sleeping comment." She looked back at me and frowned. "I thought you said 'was'…"

"I… ahh… was led to believe the explosion Starfire was caught in caused her to lose it."

Can's face took on one of sympathy. "That makes sense. Congratulations."

"Thanks." I stood, offering Starfire my hand. "There are still things you'll probably want to ask us about," I said. "But that's enough for tonight. You both need time to sort through what you've learnt. And I need to inform Batman, or he'll have my head."

Starfire nodded and slipped on her hologram rings before she took my hand and stood. "You have the lovely home, Can."

Can nodded as she stepped away from the table. "Thanks. Dick, I have heaps of questions."

"I know," I said. "We'll answer what we can. But not tonight."

"Okay," she waggled her finger at me. "But soon."

I nodded in agreement. "Of course."

"That went well," Kory said as we drove off after Can and Jake had seen us to the car.

"Could've fool me," I said. "Bruce's going to have my head."

"I am certain he will see reason."

"You'd better hope so."

"I shall protect you."

"Oh? How?"

She fluttered her eyelashes at me. "Damsel in distress."

I had to laugh at that.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> For all the Can fanboy's out there too. She rocks._


	13. Silkie

**Silkie.**

_Silkie, age 9._

_I do not know why people keep asking for this. _

_For Star of Airdrie._

_And Faith-o-sarus who drew a picture of the epilogue to Promise.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Squeak, squeak,<em> tasty toy. Nomnom, play fun.

Ooh, Momma's home.

Not Momma, funny smell man. Play and fun? Happy, play and fun and cuddles!

Hi hi, come play!

Wait… Ow! No grab!

Bad. Bad box. Silkie not bad. Why box?

Cold and dark and carried. Not want. Where's Momma?

Whimper and whine and scratch, box no go. No go box.

Sleep. Momma will come. Momma always comes.

Cuddles and wriggles and curl in corner.

Noises, loud bangs, frighten away. What's that? What's that? Momma?

Can't see, scratch and call, can't see.

Falling. Box broken. Owie.

Crawl on floor. Where is Silkie? Where is? Cold. Want Momma.

Poppi! _Poppipoppipoppi_! Silkie cold and hurt and why Poppi lie there?

"Silkie."

Happy Poppi! Wrestle! _Happyhappyhappy!_

"No! Silkie! Run!"

Okay, Poppi! Run for wrestle!

"Silkie. Bad guy. He hurt Momma."

_Momma?_

No run. Squeak and hide. Momma? Momma? Bad man.

BAD MAN!

Twist. Change and make different. BAD MAN! BAD MAN!

Look at Silkie, Poppi! Look what Silkie do! Stretchy legs, fuzzy wings. Strong now. Strong and protected. Is Silkie good, Poppi?

_Bad man._

"His name is Silkie. You hurt his Momma. Prepare to die."

NOM THE BAD MAN! No more hurt Momma!

Tasty. Icky. Boots.

Turn to Poppi. Nuzzle and smell, smell wrong. Poppi?

Pats. Love and comfort. Was Silkie good? Was Silkie good?

"Good job, bud."

Good Silkie.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Seriously. First person worm. What did you expect?_


	14. Mom

**Mom.**

_Selina, age ? (never ask a woman that)_

_Asked for by SAT and Peach Tuesday's._

_Very interesting to do, this one. Explains some holes a little._**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>I've never had children. Not that I haven't considered it, but my relationship with Bruce being what it is, on again, off again, slut it up for weekend nookie, Batman and Catwoman sex romps, children haven't really been on the cards.<p>

Of course, he's not the only male I dally with, as fine a specimen of hunky male masculinity that he is, just as I know I'm not his only girl. Have to keep the cover going, after all.

While Bruce is quite content to get it on with as many girls as he wants, I know that Batman is mine, and mine alone. And for me, since Batman is his natural personality he is, I'm content with that.

I have to be. I couldn't handle it any other way.

I'd love to be exclusive. I would. But that's not in my nature either. No man is ever going to tame me. No whip or chain or collar will cage what I am. I'm not going to sit pretty on a stool while some male sticks his head in my mouth, or anything else in me for that matter. As much as I love Bruce, he will never own me.

Cats are natural lovers, drawn to strong mates. Slinky and sexy, we like to share our bodies. Hissing and purring, sex is an extension of who we are.

Which is odd, because I sense the cat in Starfire, and yet… her feline is completely devoted to Dick. Well and truly. There is a part of me that yearns for that.

Catwoman, awash with contradictions.

I love the shiny, almost as much as I love the chase. Dripping pearls and diamonds and other precious gems, I wait in the gloom for the one to come and take it back, just so I can purr and rub myself against him. Dark rendezvous against the wall, I will bite and scratch and take from him as much as he takes from me.

But that's not all I am either.

I protect too, like the Batman and his boys. But it's more subtle. Cats are all about subtlety and grace, not strength and brutality. I don't want people to know I've helped them. Stay in the shadows and strike like the panther. Stalk like the lioness, pounce. Rapists and thugs, anyone that accosts small children or women, those are who I protect, even if I do scorn the woman after she is saved. I have a reputation for being a _bad_ girl after all.

I stalk with my girls, Ivy and Harley and we troll the town. Mess with systems, cause chaos and anarchy and have fun. Batman and Joker alike, none are safe from our mayhem. We are lionesses, hear our roar. Never forget that we lurk in the dark too.

Occasionally, when she's feeling naughty and devilish, Kory will join us and we'll be a quartet for a while. But shh, don't tell Nightwing, he'd never approve.

I know those two play the same cat and mouse games Batman and I do on occasion. They learnt that from us.

Batman isn't the only one I'll torment, of course. Have to watch over his boys too.

Robin, so smart and cautious. Thinks before he acts and thinks hard. Always has a plan. Fit, strong and agile, if he corners you, you're done. I teach him there's always a way to wriggle loose if you're willing to lose some fur in the process. There's always another course of action, if you think outside the box. And have fun, kiddo! There's no point playing the hero if you don't enjoy it.

Nightwing. Hot body and _dat ass_. Mind to match. There was a lot of things I could teach him when he was younger. Sometimes it's not all black and white, my lovely lad, the shades of grey are fun. It's good to be naughty. Not to be so cocky or you get scratched. Not so much anymore, he learnt his lessons well, even if he has to learn them hard.

Jason... or Red Hood… or whatever he calls himself now. I never really had a chance with him. For two years he lived with Bruce and all I was to him was his father's occasional layover. He wouldn't let me close. I couldn't be more because I'm not as permanent a fixture in Bruce's life as I am in Batman's. For six months Jason trained hard to become Robin. For two weeks, he held that mantle before he fell.

He wasn't suited for that life.

There are many things I could have taught him, Jason understands the grey so much better than his brothers.

Jason is like me. Good or bad, we have the freedom to choose. There's no code of morals hindering our decisions. If I help Batman, it's because I want to, if I don't, it's because I'm the one that chained him over the caldron of acid to watch him squirm.

Except for the killing. I don't approve of that. And I'm not about to take over the underworld just so I can get my revenge on the Joker.

There are many things about me that Batman doesn't know.

Like, Jason came to me before all this started.

I hadn't known it was him, of course. I draped across an awning as I considered what pretties needed my attention today and when I turned my head, Red Hood was perched on a statue of a gargoyle.

Sex appeal is one of my weapons. Cocked hip, rounded ass, my hands stroke along my own body. It's a defensive mechanism too, riled up males will be distracted by the promise of sex, they won't be ready for the sting of my whip, the slash of my claws.

Confronted by a strange masked man in Gotham, I naturally turned it on for him until I could figure out what he wanted. I cooed and shifted position so I was on my stomach, my legs in the air, my upper arms pushing my breasts together. "Hello," I purred, my little finger touching the corner of my mouth as I smiled.

"Please," he scoffed at me. "Turn it off. Just here to give you a heads up."

That surprised me. "Oh?"

"Bad things coming. You might like to lay low for a while."

"And what did I do to deserve this warning?" I purred. Inside I was confused, who was this guy to think to warn me?

He looked at me then. I can't say what he saw, I can't even say what I saw. "You were always straight with me."

I pushed myself up into a crouch, unnerved. "Who are you?"

There was a smirk in his voice, even if I couldn't see his face. "You'll find out soon," he said and jumped off the edge of the building.

Because Bruce and I never discuss business, I didn't think to mention it to him. I knew I'd seen a new player in town, especially when the underworld started to feel his presence, the death rate rose, the drug lords running scared, Batman's increased presence in Gotham but… I never connected that Red Hood was Jason.

He sought me out a few times, I'm not sure why. Quiet moments I think. We didn't talk, we didn't flirt, we weren't even close. I'd be on one building, and he'd be on the other. Just sat there and watched the city.

"How do you do it?" he asked one day.

"Do what?"

"Walk the line?"

"Which line would that be?"

He glanced at me. "The line that means Batman never takes you in."

"Who is to say he never takes me in?" I purred.

"Has he?"

"A couple of times. Are you afraid Batman's going to come after you?"

"It's what I'm hoping for."

I frowned. "Darling, there's not many people who_ want_ him to chase them. I can count on one hand the number of people that do."

"You and the Joker," he said. "Although your reasons are better. I've done my homework."

Studying him, but that red facemask of his didn't allow me to contemplate his expression. "Are you the one killing the underground?"

"Going to run off to Batman if I am?"

"Wondering if I'm next, actually."

He laughed. "If I'd wanted to kill you, you'd be dead by now."

"Then what do you want with me?"

He fell silent, looked down at his hands. "Acceptance, maybe. He'll never accept what I am. But you might."

What an odd thing to say. "And what are you?"

He shifted. "Retribution."

It wasn't until I found Nightwing fucking some slut that wasn't Starfire in some alleyway that I realised something else was going on. At first I thought it _was_ Starfire, and they were having some sort of role-playing game, but her voice wasn't the same. The movements weren't right. And she was fucking shorter than him.

He took a whip to the back before he stopped pounding her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snarled.

He pulled a gun on me, grabbed it off the slut he was defacing and pointed it at me before he'd even withdrawn.

It wasn't Dick.

I didn't know this new face.

I dropped to three limbs, my whip behind me, ready to slash again, but the Nightwing doppelganger laughed. "Oh. It's you. Not the one I wanted to see, but you'll do."

I snarled at him. I knew that voice, the red masked man, but why was he in Nightwing's uniform.

"Who's this?" his slut asked, sounding bitter and jealous.

"None of your business," he replied, pulled out and fixed his uniform. "Go home. I'll call you later."

His whore huffed, but she went.

I kept myself ready for attack, my eyes on that gun, my whip ready. "Who are you?"

"I don't expect you'd recognise me," he said. "We never got a lot of time together, so wrapped up in Bruce's secrets. Still looking out for the Batboys, are you, Selina?"

I was shocked at the use of my name, and Bruce's, my whip twitched.

"It's just a game," he said, reaching into his glove for a grappling hook. "It's always been a game. Messing with the Batboys is just fun."

"Is that what you're doing?"

"Of course," he replied. "Need to keep them on their toes."

I narrowed my eyes. "Is this one of his tests?" I questioned. Batman was all about unorthodox tests. Starfire wasn't going to react well to this form of test.

"You'll have to wait and see," he said, shooting his hook upward. "Watch for endgame."

So I watched. I waited. It didn't even occur to me to tell Bruce of what I'd seen. We don't share things like that.

When Tim was injured, I saw it on the news. I raced to my phone in a panic to check my messages, hearing Alfred's voice asking me to call, which I did immediately.

"Selina," Bruce answered, his voice heavy with repressed emotion.

"Bruce, what happened? Is Tim okay?"

I heard the sound of footsteps in the background. "He was shot in the stomach."

I flopped down on my sofa. "Oh. God."

"We've not heard word yet, but he's been in surgery a long time."

"Dick and Star?"

"They're here. So's Steph."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Do you need me?"

"They won't let you in," he sounded grumpy about that. "Dick had enough trouble getting past security."

"Oh. Do you know what happened?"

Bruce sighed. "There's a new criminal in town… one that's going after us personally. He's been taking over the underworld. He tried to frame Dick… and he busted Joker out of Arkham so he could get at me."

My mind wandered back to the red masked man, and the Nightwing doppelganger. "Do you know who it is?"

He sighed again. "It's Jason."

My heart pounded in my chest. It explained so much, how he'd known, why he'd targeted Nightwing. "Oh, shit."

"Can you come tonight?" Bruce asked, sounding like a needy child.

"Of course."

"Promise me you'll be careful," he said. "I don't know what the game is, but it doesn't seem like anyone is safe."

"I promise."

Ultimately, there was no talking, not that I expected there would be. He needed me, in more ways than one and I was quite happy to let him take.

I went looking for Jason the next night, wanting answers myself. Bruce didn't tell me much but I had the feeling Jason would, if I asked. He wanted me to know he was alive, attached himself to me for some reason I couldn't understand.

I had a role to play in endgame.

It wasn't the role I thought'd play.

I was in Bludhaven, searching through places I though Jason might be when my communicator beeped. Batman made me carry around a Justice League communicator, even if I never used it, just as a precaution. That way I'd know about the global alerts.

The first alert simply read, "Beacon code nine." A call for help.

A minute later, the code changed to "Medical emergency," and listed the Batcave as location.

Something had happened. Something bad. Bruce? Dick? Tim? Starfire? Alfred? Names tumbled through my head, panic in my breast.

My car was across the other side of town, it would take me ages to run across and get there and I wasn't privy to the locations of Nightwing's teleporters in Bludhaven to jump through to the Batcave. Not a lot I could do once I got there, except be there for them.

So I ran, leaping from building top to building top, my mind racing with possibilities.

I was about half way there when the N-Wing flew overhead.

I paused, panting, and watched its trajectory, wondering what the fuck was going on. Why was Nightwing patrolling? I hesitated, catching my breath as I watched its path and a few moments later, saw the N-Wing circle around, like a buzzard over its prey.

Something was definitely going down. If Nightwing wasn't hurt…

Then, a global alert sounded. "Locate Nightwing. ASAP."

I frowned as I read the alert. There weren't any other details except that.

Then, the communicator went mad. Rumours flying, heroes checking in, coordination of searches, but one message was completely clear.

Something had happened to Starfire.

I tucked the communicator away, heading in the direction I'd seen the N-Wing go, feeling the need to do something. They said to locate Nightwing, and I had an idea where he'd be.

Docks district. Structured warehouses all lined up in pretty little rows. Dark and dingy, there'd be nothing shiny here, I'd never even enter a place like this if I wasn't certain Nightwing'd be here somewhere. I wondered which one he'd be in.

A splattering of gunfire drew my attention.

The sound of flesh hitting flesh, voices, angry and yelling.

"Jason!"

Dick's voice. I had been sneaking, trying to get inside without anyone noticing, but the sheer panic in his voice spurred me into action.

Bodies on the ground, blood and dead men. Broken men. Unconscious men. One was shot up. One had a birdarang lodged in his neck. Another man dead, lying on the ground next to two bound people I'd never seen before. That woman I'd seen in an alleyway before, lying on the ground. I kept moving toward the sounds of fighting.

Red Hood, without the hood but the rest of the costume was the same. The man that had been companionably sharing the opposite roof, wore the same face as the imposter Nightwing. He was hurt, injured, bleeding from the leg and being attacked with a crowbar by a huge man with dirty blond hair. Jason.

Before I could react, the large man man rolled off Jason, and grabbed the body that had been lying on the floor beside him. Picked up the black body and slammed him against a column, held him by the throat. Broken, battered, his face bleeding and bruised, like he'd gone ten rounds with Superman and taken every punch dished out.

"I'm going to squeeze the life from you, watch you die, little prick."

The man in black clawed at his throat and I caught a good look at his face.

_Dick_.

I'd watch him grow from so very small into the man he was today. Watched him fall in love. Been there through his low points, shared in his high.

I'd be damned if I was going to let some bastard take him away.

My whip slashed, catching the man straight across the back as the words tore from my throat. "_Let go of my boy_!"

The man dropped Dick and half turned toward me, and I threw my arm again, the whip cracking, slicing against him as I forced him away from the boys. Another slash, and the man was cut on his cheek. "What have you done to my boys?"

He looked… amused… almost, this massive man. Well, I was quite happy to wipe that smug smile of that fleshy lump of clay that was a head. But first… "Red, you okay?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "Asshole shot me."

"Nightwing?"

Dick was making these small choking sounds, like he couldn't quite catch his breath.

I glanced at him. "What the hell? The Justice League is going ape shit looking for you. It's on every frequency. You're so lucky I spotted your plane. I'm going to call them—"

"Mom."

My heart pounded. He's never… it was always…

He sounded so broken. Devastated. I've never heard such pain in his voice, not even… what happened to break him so much?

He called me mom. He called me _mom_. He's never meant that before. To hear him say those words… it awoke something in me. It's always been there, this fierce sense of pride and protectiveness toward those boys, but suddenly, it was _more_. "What?" I asked.

So broken. "She was pregnant."

Was? _Was_?

That's why he was here. That's why they couldn't find him. Starfire'd been hurt… dead?... no, because there had been no messages in the communicator that listed that. She's was hurt and lost the baby, a little baby that I hadn't even been aware existed and he'd come for revenge. Revenge he'd not been able to complete.

I shifted my grip on my whip. "Him?"

He nodded, his arms limp. Life seemed to be draining from him.

I didn't care who this man was. He meant nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. But what Dick had said, that meant the world and the bastard would pay for taking that away.

My whip slashed, flashed through the air, a resounding _crack_ as it connected against flesh. Again and again. Cut against anything, flayed skin and clothes alike. I caught his foot, yanked him off his feet. He barely had time to thump to the ground before I was on him.

I was determined to rake his eyes out, claw his throat, cut and slash and issue on him whatever pain he'd given. He was strong, I could tell from his size, I couldn't let him get his hands on me. Whenever he reached for me, I wasn't there, darting in and out as fast as I could to cause my pain. Bleeding claw lines on his face, scratches on his arms as he raised them in defence no part was safe from me.

I was aware that Dick was calling for me again, but it wasn't until he called me "Mom," again that I paid attention. It was hard, I was furious at the man that had hurt him, but Dick meant more to me. If he was calling, then I needed to help him.

He lifted a shaky hand, pointed them at the people in chairs behind us. "You need to get them away," he gasped. "Then get out of here. Please."

I could do that. I wondered why it was so important for them to be free.

I took a single step toward them and suddenly found myself airborne. The man on the ground had grabbed me and tossed me.

Cats don't always land on their feet. I crashed into a crate and hit my head.

I woke with a headache and pretty surprised to be still alive.

There was sort of a rumbling… warble… if that was the word. I dragged myself up on all fours and looked around.

The man I'd seen before was nowhere to be seen. But there was a massive grey and black moth type creature standing over Dick, nudging at him with its face. At first I thought the moth was going to eat Dick, but it warbled again and I recognised the sound.

Starfire's worm. What the hell?

There was an ever growing pool of blood beneath Dick.

Jason was pressing against his leg, that woman regained consciousness and helping him.

One of the people on the chairs was making frantic gestures with her head, muffled calls through her gag as she forced her chair to hop toward Dick. I got to my feet, staggering with dizziness as I headed to Dick.

"Jason?" I called.

"I'm okay. Help him, he's been shot in the back."

Fuck.

I went for the woman trying to help first, I'd probably need more help. I'm not a medic. I can stitch, but a gunshot was outside my knowledge.

There black birdarang sword on the ground, I picked that up as I ran past, slashing at the woman's binds, then at the man that had been beside her. The woman tore her gag from her bloody mouth. "Hackle, secure those two," she groaned out.

I darted back to Dick, shoving at the ex-worm to move him aside. "Silkie, move."

He did. He must have recognised me. He stayed close though.

I peeled away Dick's mask to see his eyes and checked his pulse. Weak. I grabbed his shoulder, lifted him up a little so I could see his back. The brown haired woman landed on the other side of Dick. "Dick, Dick, c'mon."

How'd she know his name?

Dick's eyes flicked open, then closed again. "Sssssorry."

The woman slapped him again. "Don't you close those eyes. You stay here."

His eyes opened with a little more coherence while I fumbled for my communicator. This was way outside my knowledge, had to get backup.

"You little shit," the woman said. "You never told me. All this time, I knew there was something special about you and you never said."

"Couldn't."

"Yeah, well, you need to stay alive so I can yell at you."

"Catwoman?"

I pressed my hand to his shoulder. "I'm here, Dick."

"You 'kay?"

"I'm fine, you just worry about staying alive."

The woman shook Dick. "Don't you sleep."

"Tell Star…" Dick struggled. "I'm s-s-orry."

No, Dick, don't say goodbye. Never do that. You'll be okay.

"Tell her yourself," the woman said.

"Gretch…" Dick mumbled.

Gretch? Who was Gretch? Wait… _Gretchen_? His AI?

There was a voice in his ear, but I couldn't make the words.

"Ssss'okay. Code over."

My communicator wasn't working, and I shook it roughly. "I can't get a signal, fucking thing. Ahh, there we go." I activated a homing beacon, sent the short message that I had Nightwing and needed backup.

Dick's eyes closed.

"Don't you die on me," I snapped. "Your father will never forgive me."

He opened them. He was trying, bless him. He really was. "Jason?"

"Hackle's dealing with him."

"Oh."

The entire Justice League and all of the Titans teleported in at once. One second there was no one there, the next, the room was full.

It scared the crap out of me, not to mention the poor woman beside me. She screamed. Silkie reacted to the scream, his wings going back, his legs outstretched.

Many voices all happening at once, I felt myself grabbed and hoisted away. Hissing and spitting I struggled until I heard Batman's voice. "It's me."

So much was going on around us, but he placed me back on the ground, stood in front of me and gripped my arms and it was like there was no one else in the world.

"Starfire?" I asked.

"Alive," he said. "Now, I need you to get Jason out of here. Go to the Batcave, I'll send Alfred to help with the injuries. Keep him there."

I blinked in surprise. "I can't leave Dick."

"I'll take care of him, but Jason can't be here. Not with the whole Justice League. Get him out, get yourself out in the chaos. Please."

Tears filled my eyes. I was torn. I didn't want to leave Dick, but Jason…"But—"

"Selina, _please_. They're going to be looking for someone to blame. I don't want it to be you or Jason."

"It wasn't Jason," I insisted. "There was another guy here, beating them up. I don't know what happened to him."

"I'll find out. Just get out of here."

I looked back over to where Dick lay. "Promise me you call."

"You'll be the first to know."

Make a decision. Do it. You've left him in mortal peril before, you can trust his father to protect one son, while you protect the other.

I nodded. "Okay."

Batman kissed me, hard and fast and then he was gone and I was running toward Jason. I skidded to his side, crouched and dragged his arm over my shoulder. "Let's go," I snarled.

"What?"

I risked a glance over my shoulder at Dick as I hoisted Jason up, the orange costumed woman on Jason's other side. "Your father says go. Now. In the chaos."

"He's letting us go?" Jason asked, disbelieving.

"Don't question."

The man that had been tied up protested. "Hey, you can't—"

I shifted my grip on Jason and kicked him in the balls. "Sorry. Gotta disappear."

Between us, and Jason's hopping, we managed to navigate out of the warehouse without any of the Justice League noticing. As we staggered out into the night, a massive squall surged overhead and I looked up to see the N-Wing hovering above us.

"Do you require a lift?" a voice asked.

I frowned, remembering what Dick had said. "Gretchen?"

"Yes." Another roaring of engines and the plane landed, the cockpit popping open. "Koriand'r protocol 'Protect the family' is currently engaged. Catwoman is classified as family. Do you require assistance?"

"Hell, yes," I said and angled us toward the plane.

"Koriand'r?" Jason asked.

"Starfire."

We reached the base of the plane. "Get up there," I snapped at the orange clad woman. "You'll need to catch him."

She nodded and clambered up, turning to reach for Jason. I propped him up, then bent at the knees, offering him cupped hands to lift him up. He placed the foot of the injured leg on my palms and I hoisted him up, his woman catching his hand to pull him up all the way. It was easy for me to bound up onto the wing and scramble into the cockpit too.

"Destination?" Gretchen asked as she fired the engines and closed the cockpit.

I thought about that, glancing at Jason. "My apartment," I said and gave the address. I glanced at Jason over my shoulder. "Talk. What the hell happened?"

He did, leaning against his girl, who he introduced as Tarantula, he explained how he'd been with Blockbuster because he knew Dick'd eventually come for him, and he wanted to have a word with Dick about the Joker.

I snorted when he said that. "Or beat the crap out of each other."

"Yeah. That too."

I shook my head. "Continue."

Jason hadn't known what Blockbuster had done to Dick to get him there. He hadn't known Starfire'd been hurt, or that Blockbuster had blown up Dick's apartment or Haley's circus was gone. I hadn't known either, it was a shock. Poor Dick, Blockbuster, which I assumed had been the clay faced man, had come after him hard. Taken away everything.

"Why?" I asked. "All this trouble, why didn't you just sit down with them and talk?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"They let him live, Selina. If it had been you, he'd have killed the Joker. He didn't care enough about me to even try."

"Bullshit. He wouldn't break that line, not even for me."

"Dick could save his girl, and not his brother."

I shook my head. "Again, bullshit. Starfire saved Dick, not the other way around. She was tranqued and the Joker picked her to beat to death with a crowbar after you. When Dick regained consciousness, he tried to cover Starfire with his body to protect her. She blew."

"What?" Jason blurted.

"Released all her energy at once. Created some sort of shielded dome. From what she's told me, it wasn't supposed to happen. She was trying to suicide. They got lucky. It happens."

"Oh."

"How are you alive?"

"I don't know. Someone's playing in the cosmic sandbox, I guess."

The rest of the trip to my place was quiet, save for Jason's occasional moan of pain and Tarantula's soothing. When I opened my door, I was surprised to discover Alfred waiting for us by my dining table, a white cloth spread so it was covering it, his hands already in medical gloves and all equipment ready for surgery. He must have known I'd never take Jason to the Batcave.

Jason jerked his head up. "Alfred?"

Alfred bowed slightly at the waist. "Greetings young master. It gladdens my heart to see you again."

"Well… you're the first happy to see me," Jason muttered.

"Up on the table, please Ms Selina."

Tarantula and I helped Jason get up on the table and lie down, watching while Alfred administered some morphine. "Any news?"

"Miss Starfire has regained consciousness, that is all I know."

"How badly was she hurt?"

Alfred tore Jason pants so expose his leg more. "Broken wrist, dislocated shoulder, internal bleeding."

"And Dick?"

Alfred sighed, his face tightening. "I do not know."

I glanced at Tarantula, hesitating by the doorway, her eyes on Jason. "Do you want something to drink?"

She nodded and meekly followed me into my kitchen. Opening my freezer, I tossed the girl an icepack for that bruise on her face. "So, what's your story?"

"I don't answer to you."

I turned back to her and lifted an eyebrow. "Then get out of my house."

"What?"

I wasn't in the mood for this. "In case you haven't noticed, we've just survived something we probably shouldn't have. Two of my boys are hurt, another may be dying, and if you're going to be all high and mighty with me you can fuck off."

"You don't want to cross me, bitch. I'm a killer."

I laughed, wondering if she knew how childish she sounded right then. "Oh, really?"

"I killed Redhorn," she said rather proudly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Bludhaven's chief of police? That was you? What possessed you to do something like that?"

"He had it coming. He was corrupt."

"So, you thought you'd take the law into your own hands?"

"It was the only way."

I shook my head. "Honey, you stepped on a lot of toes doing that. Stupid. Very, very stupid."

"I did what had to be done," she told me, her head held high. "He needed to be stopped."

"Oh, I agree on that point. He did. But you went about it completely the wrong way. If you want to stop someone, _destroy_ them. Killing them is easy. Destroying them takes finesse, courage, subtly. Take away his career. Nightwing and Batman know how to destroy people and they can do it without the person even knowing it was them. You turned Redhorn into a martyr. That's not destroying him. Everything that he was is going to get buried under bureaucracy."

Tarantula blinked in surprise.

"You're just a pretty little murderer. People won't see you as a saviour; they'll see you as the assassin that took the life of their police chief without just cause. You want to kill bad guys, fine, I'm not stopping you. Just be smart about it, make sure the world _knows_ they're bad first."

"You don't get to talk to me that way."

I waved my hand at her. "So leave. I don't care one way or the other." I set about making myself and Alfred a cup of tea, then carted them into the dining room to drape myself on my couch.

"How you doing?" I asked Jason as I kicked off my boots.

He was sweating and clenching his teeth. "Just peachy, mom."

I had to smile at the sarcastic use of 'mom'. "Good boy. How's Tim?"

"As well as to be expected," Alfred said, concentrating on Jason's leg. "He regained consciousness for a short time today. No infections and the doctors believe he'll make a good recovery."

I sighed, closed my eyes and rested my head back on my sofa. "Good. Are they accepting visitors yet?"

"Not yet," Alfred said. "However, I do believe Master Bruce has put your name down on the visitor's list."

I nodded. "I'll visit tomorrow."

"I am certain he would appreciate it. Master Jason, if you cannot hold still, I will not be able to finish this quickly."

"Sorry, Alfred."

"Where are you staying, Master Jason?" Alfred asked.

Jason hesitated. "Place outside Bludhaven."

"Your room remains as you left it," Alfred mentioned as he made neat, careful stitches.

"I don't think I'm welcome at the Manor," Jason said through gritted teeth.

"You will always have a home there," Alfred said.

"He doesn't accept who I am," Jason said, bitter. He turned to me and asked, "How can he accept you, after all you've done, but he can't accept his own son?"

I sighed and sat forward. "Matters of the heart are rarely straight forward. He loves me but he doesn't understand me. The same goes for you. He loves you, but he doesn't understand. He doesn't know who you are anymore. Give him a chance to find out."

"It's not that easy. I don't fit in with that type of life. I never did."

"Neither do I. But I found a place. You need to find one too."

"Selina—"

"Be true to who you are," I said, studying my finger nails. "If this is you, then stick to your guns. Don't change for him, you'll hate yourself."

Jason nodded.

"Besides, I've always thought someone needed to be a little more heavy handed with the underlords. Shake things up."

Jason smiled at me. "Thanks."

I smiled at him and sat back. "Always here for my boys."

Jason and Tarantula gave us the slip as Alfred and I cleaned up the bloodied mess. We knew they were going to, it was part of the reason why we'd spent so long in the kitchen cleaning up, talking loudly and listening to the sound of the front door go. He wasn't ready to confront Bruce.

Alfred waited while I showered and packed a weekend bag and left out some food for my pretty little Isis before we headed to the Manor to wait for news.

Dick made it through, although he was in a coma for a few days. Starfire stayed awake the entire time, curled up against his side. I was most thankful to discover Dick had been mistaken, and she was still pregnant. I went and saw her a few times, but she was going through something and the feline in me yielded to the stronger cat. I think she knew. She reacted to me just as much.

"What is that?" I asked, standing beside the bed instead of sitting next to her like I wanted to.

"_Valsoona_," she mumbled. "Tamaranian morning sickness. I am sorry, Selina, but it pains me to be close to anyone at this present time."

I took a couple of steps backward. "I'm sorry."

"I am most grateful that you have come to visit. And that you were the one to find him."

"He'll get better, Starfire," I murmured. "He has so much to live for."

"He does not know," she replied. "I am afraid he has done the giving up."

"He knows, Star. He does. Some part of him realises there's a little baby that needs a father."

Starfire sniffled, curling against Dick and I risked putting my hand on her shoulder, her energy rocking through my hand into my arm and I snatched it away in pain.

"My apologies," Starfire mumbled. "I cannot control it."

"Star, you're worrying yourself sick."

"I need to be awake," she replied.

When Dick finally woke, Starfire went straight to sleep, fell into her healing sleep. No one knew how long she'd be out, but Dick suspected it'd be a couple of days.

I'm not one to make a scene, not with matters of family, so I waited for the Titans to have their fill before I ventured into his room.

He was asleep, curled up against Starfire's back. They were covered up with blanket, but what I could see of him was bad. Broken wrists, black eyes, a cut on his lip and one on his temple. He had one hand draped over his girl, protectively curling her back into him.

Everyone had been so busy to yell at Dick, Bruce was so angry, I could see it in his stance every time I saw him in the hallways. I didn't really understand it. Dick was in love, he was entitled to be stupid, to let his emotions get the better of him occasionally. It made him human.

Bruce didn't like to be reminded that they were, I guess.

I sighed and brushed some of Dick's hair back from his forehead, then kissed Starfire's cheek and turned to leave.

"Are you going to yell at me too?" Dick said, opening his eyes.

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Oh." He yawned, winced as he arched his back. Kissing Starfire's shoulder, he leant over to check on her before he sat up. "Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." He winced as he shifted.

I snorted and smiled at him.

"I deserved it though," he said.

"Did you?" I asked, mildly.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"You're really not going to yell?" he asked, surprised.

"Seems like everyone else yelled enough."

"Oh… um… what were you doing there? At the warehouse?"

"Looking for you," I replied. "The communicator went nuts, since I saw your plane, I thought I'd better see if I could find you."

"Oh."

"So eloquent."

"High on painkillers. I'm glad you were there."

I nodded. "Me too. Not that I was much good."

"You were. Just being there… you were there when I needed you. Thank you."

"So…. Mom?"

Dick went red. He reached up to rub his neck. "Um… you've… kinda… well… you know I've always… kinda… seen you that way…"

Poor, bumbling Dick, he's cute when he acts all sheepish. Feeling playful, I gave him an evil eye and crossed my arms. "I see."

"Sorry," he mumbled, still very red. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"I don't get embarrassed, Dick. I'm not old enough to be your mother."

"Oh." He floundered. "It's just… your… you've been the only constant woman in my life since I was little and…" He dropped his eyes and looked lost. "I'm sorry, I won't call you that again."

"I didn't say that, Dick. I don't mind. It was just a surprise. I've always felt that we shared some sort of connection. I'd be proud to be considered your mom."

He gave me a shy smile and leant over Starfire to place his hand on her belly. "Does that mean we can call you Grandma?"

I beamed. "I'd like that."

We had small talk for a while, talking about babies and things like that before he began to fade again.

I tucked him in and stroked his hair as he drifted off. "Mom?"

"Yes, Dick?" I asked.

"You know I love you?"

I smiled and kissed his head. "Love you to, son."

Bruce was waiting for me in the hallway. "How's he doing?"

I studied the closed door. "Beating himself up and second guessing himself. He learnt that from you. He never learnt how to control his emotions because you never show any toward him. Stop being so hard on him."

"Selina, you don't understand."

"I understand he nearly died. They nearly lost each other and we nearly lost a son. Be thankful they're all still here."

He dropped his eyes, conceeding. "Have you had news of Jason?"

"He's fine," I said, remembering the brief phone call Jason had made to say thank you and that he'd be in touch.

"Selina, where is he?"

"If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."

"Why can't you?"

"It's not my place to. He'll call you when he's ready."

"Selina."

I turned to Bruce and smiled, patting him on the cheek. "Moms protect _all_ their boys."


	15. Chilli Popcorn

**Chilli popcorn.**

_Dick, Age 26._

_Set before the epilogue of Promise._

_Guys, please stop asking me for a birth scene. If I wanted to do one of those, I would have included it in Promise. I am not doing any from Mar'i's POV or anything beyond the point of the epilogue of Promise. That would mean I'd have to think about what'd happen in the future, and I just don't want to this time around. _

_So… I think… one more after this chapter (unless something particularly inspiring comes to mind) and then I'll close off Outtakes._

* * *

><p>Red Hood reappeared in our lives when we weren't ready for it. But then, we'd probably never be ready for it, even if he'd given us warning. A neon flashing light saying 'Hi Dad, I'm back to torment you' would've been awesome.<p>

He did, sort of, pick a good time, if there was a good time for a crime spree. Tim was on school break. Bruce had no pressing Wayne Enterprise business trips and Starfire was thirty eight weeks pregnant. Only six weeks to go, Tamaranian time. She'd already gone on maternity leave the week before.

Raven had given birth already, two weeks ago. Little Joshua was so cute! Green skinned, purple haired, big eyed little lad. He'd been a week late, not that we'd been concerned. Beast Boy thought he'd probably raven out of there when he was ready, as it was, he almost did.

I could hardly wait until ours came.

So… yeah… it was a bad time for me to be spending all night researching with Bruce, Tim and Cass about where Jason might strike next. It was a bad time for me to be out patrolling Gotham or Bludhaven until three in the morning, heading off the various crime waves my shithead of a brother had started when he'd begun taking over various drug syndicates and the internal fighting that went with the power struggle.

Soulless bastard.

Two weeks we'd been chasing his tail and coming up with jack. He was enjoying himself, taunting us. Murders in the underbelly as he took over operations. Murders on the police force in Gotham. Murders of lawyers in Bludhaven. Leaving little clues and notes in places only Batman would find. Taunting us as he dared us to stop him, or find him.

Starfire accepted my absence without qualm. She didn't say a word, just kissed me goodbye and wished me luck as I went through the teleport to the Batcave to get out next assignments for the night. I knew it had to be hard on her, but she's a trooper. Protect the innocent, as she told me every night before I left.

She always waited up for me. I could tell it was tiring her, but she was taking those few minutes before I fell in an exhausted heap to spend time with me. We'd lie on the bed together and feel her massive belly pressed between us and take those snatches of moments together. The only real time we'd had was at work, which she wasn't going to any more, and the party they'd held for her in which I'd gone to as Dick Grayson, then showed up as Nightwing toward the end of the night. Can and Jake helped me pull of the switch.

It wasn't enough time.

Eight o'clock. Poised for action. The four of us stood atop Wayne Enterprises in Gotham, waiting for Red Hood and Tarantula's next strike. For that next call from Oracle about where we were to head too.

I shifted and fidgeted as I looked over Gotham, pulled my phone from my glove and glanced at its screen, sighed then put it away.

"Somewhere to be?" Batman asked from the other end of the building.

Batgirl turned her head and looked at me, but didn't say anything. She never does.

I wrinkled my nose and didn't answer him, pulling out my phone again to stare at the screen.

"Dick?" Robin asked.

I shrugged. "Something..."

"What?"

"An itch, I suppose." I scratched the back of my neck. "Can't explain it."

Batman turned his attention to me. "Try."

"It's eight o'clock," I said. "She always sends me a text about seven asking me if I'll be home for dinner, even if she knows I won't. Today, nothing."

"Maybe she's having a nap," Robin suggested. "It must be tiring for her."

I shook my head. "No… you know what? I'm calling it."

Batman swivelled. "What?" he asked with a stoic voice and an eyebrow raise.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home," I said in my best Cartman voice, finger actions to go along with it. "Gretch, can you send the N-Wing please?"

"Dick!" Batman said sternly.

"She's nearly nine months, Bruce, I shouldn't be fucking around in Gotham this close. Two weeks and we haven't caught him. Sorry, but I need a night with her." I gave him a daring smile. "She's got to come first."

Batman nodded. "Tell her we're thinking of her."

I grinned, gave Robin a cheeky salute, nodded to Batgirl and vaulted into the N-Wing as it arrived.

I flew back to the Nightwatch as fast as I could, changed out of my uniform and went to the corner store about a block from it for supplies, then headed back to the Nightwatch to take the teleporter home.

All the lights were out at our house. Which wasn't a good thing. Maybe Tim'd been right and she was sleeping. I placed the paper bag of shopping on the counter, putting away the perishables and headed up the stairs.

I crept along the hallway, determined not to wake her if she was napping. Instead I'd slip in beside her for a cuddle and let her rest. As I crept, I was distracted by a quiet noise from the baby's room.

There was a soft glow from the crack in the door and I could hear the music of the baby mobile Cyborg had brought us to hang over the crib singing.

I placed my hand on the door handle and opened the door a crack to peer through.

Starfire was beside the crib, sitting on the rocking arm chair I'd brought for her with her feet up on her _lukna_ worm. She was barefoot, wearing one of her blue maternity dresses with her hands rubbing her belly. The set of drawers to her right, designed for easy access to whatever she needed for her night time feeds, had the lamp on top of it on and a box of tissues. She was staring out the window into the starry night and as I watched she sniffled, reached blindly for the tissue box and wiped her face.

She looked miserable. Stroking her belly like she was trying to soothe herself and our child, tears falling from her eyes. Lonely and tired and probably in a little bit of pain. Unable to tell me for fear of being selfish. She'd been so strong throughout the entire pregnancy, but it was heartbreaking to see her like this.

And know she hadn't meant for me to see at all.

She needed me.

Smiling, I opened the door all the way and walked into the room. "Hey, beautiful."

Her head flicked to me, startled, her mouth dropping open in shock. "Dick?"

"The one and only," I said, grabbing the small foot stool in the room and placing it at the base of the armchair so I had someplace to sit. I picked up one of her feet and began to massage.

She stared at me. "What are you doing?"

I smiled at her. "Rubbing your feet. How was your day?"

She tilted her head. "No, why are you not patrolling?"

"Told Bruce, 'screw you, I'm going home'."

She looked aghast. "You did not."

"Totally did. He sends his love."

"Why?"

I was enjoying deliberately misunderstanding her. "'Cause he loves you."

"No, why—"

"Because you needed me. I missed you. I wanted to be home. We only have a short time before our baby comes, I want to spend it with you. Bruce, Tim and Cass can handle things for a while." For once, I'm going to be here when you need me, Star.

She smiled and sniffled and sat up straighter as she reached for a tissue to blow her nose. "_X'hal_, I must look terrible."

"You've never been more beautiful than you are right now," I said, firmly pressing my thumbs into the balls of her feet.

She gave me a watery smile. "You have lowered your standards."

"Nope, you're growing more and more beautiful every day." I smiled at her. "I stopped at the store on the way home, since I saw we were out of chilli sauce this morning. Thought I could make your chilli buttered popcorn and mint frosting ice cream dip with _myknod_ worms, curl up on the sofa in the entertainment room and watch the Princess Bride when I'm done rubbing your feet."

Starfire brightened. "Truly?"

I ran one hand up the back of her leg so I could massage her calf while I continued to work her foot with the other. "Yes, truly."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Oh, that would be wonderful."

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Sore. Swollen. Uncomfortable. Journeying to the bathroom every few minutes. Also, I discovered another stretch mark."

"Oh, really?" I asked.

She nodded, eyes still closed.

"I can rub some cocoa butter on your belly later if you want."

"Please." She sighed. "I do not wish to do this for much longer."

"Nearly there, Star," I said soothingly as I moved to her other leg, reaching forward to pat her belly. "Soon Mar'i or Ion will be here and we can move onto the next part."

Starfire wrinkled her nose. "Ion?"

"I-O-N."

"It is similar to John in pronunciation."

"Yup."

"I thought you had decided on Jorsca."

"And you said that name sounded like a girl. Ion is Romani too."

"If you wish to name your son after you, why not simply use 'John'?"

"Because we have two 'Johns' at the Watchtower and I don't want to feel like I'm naming a son after one of them."

"But… you _are_ naming a son after yourself and your father."

I smiled at her and moved up one hand up to her calf. "See? Keep it in the family."

"So, John as the middle name."

"I thought we agreed I could name a boy?"

"It is a girl."

"You just decided this?"

She nodded. "It must be. For you are hopeless at choosing names."

"Fiiiine," I complained, grinning at her. "What's the Tamaranian name that means, '_X'hal_ is gracious'?"

Starfire considered. "Oliv'r."

I hesitated. "Okay, that's kind of cool sounding."

Starfire smiled.

"Doesn't mean I'll use it. How's the feet?"

"Wondrous. Truly, I am most grateful."

"Anything for you, beautiful. Do you need help waddling down the stairs to the entertainment room? Or shall I set bring the snacks up to the bedroom?"

"I should like to shower first," she said with a smile.

"Okay, bedroom it is," I said replied, giving her foot one last rub as I leant forward to kiss her belly. "I'll go make us snacks."

I moved the stool away from the end of the chair, helped my poor fiancée lumber to her feet, even though she could fly, I think she just likes the touch she gets when I help her stand and then bounded off downstairs to fetch us something to eat.

"Hey, Gretch?" I called as I prepared everything.

"Yes?"

"Reroute all alerts through to the Batcave. Do not disturb sign on the teleporter and all communications."

"Already done," she said. "Temperature in the master bedroom has been lowered to 'snuggle' setting. Morning alarm has been delayed for two hours and coffee pot timer reset in accordance."

I grinned. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Activating all alarm settings. Enjoy your evening," she said as I took my tray of snacks up the stairs. Gretchen turned off the lights behind me, and I heard Barry Manilow start up from the entertainment room and I swear I heard something 'meep'. But that can't be right. Starfire was waiting for me, so I didn't bother to check it out.

Pillows propped up against the head of the bed to cushion her, Starfire was waiting for me, wearing a silken nightie which was hiked up over her belly while she rubbed cream against her skin.

"I thought you were going to let me do that?" I said with a pout.

She smiled sheepishly. "My apologies. Your baby is most awake tonight and I was hoping to soothe them so we may enjoy our movie."

I slid the tray into the middle of the bed and held my hand out for the cream. "Gimme."

She obediently handed the cream over and I walked around the other side of the bed, giving Silkie a pat on the head as I passed his corner, so I could sit next to her. With a grin, I upended the bottle and squired her stomach with it.

Starfire giggled and squirmed and wrinkled her nose at me as I put the cap back on the bottle and placed it on her bedside table before I put both hands against her swollen stomach.

And received a kick almost immediately.

"Well, hello there," I said with a grin and began to rub in slow circles. "Are you being mean to poor Momma today?"

"Yes, very," Starfire grumbled.

I winked at her and leant close to her belly. "Good job, but would you mind going to sleep for a while, Daddy wants to get laid tonight."

Starfire raised an eyebrow at me. "I knew you had the ulterior motive."

"Anything to help you relax, m'lovely. Besides, you heard what Doctor Mid-Nite said. More orgasms, helps bring on labour."

"I am not ready for this baby to come yet."

"If you aren't up to it, that's okay. More snuggles for me."

I paid special attention to rubbing the cream into the underside of her belly, that's where she was most worried about the stretch marks that were appearing. I really didn't care, she's gorgeous no matter what. Junior always seems to roll toward my hand when I do this.

"Is that a butt or a head?"

Starfire considered her belly where my hand was. "Head." She pressed a hand to her belly just below her breast. "There is a foot here." She moved her other hand to the other side of her belly. "And the butt is here."

"Nice position, right?"

"Almost. They are required to turn slightly more."

"Awesome."

She wriggled her hand at the tray of food. "You placed it too far away."

I laughed, leant over her to slide it closer before I continued to rub her belly. Gradually, as Starfire ate her food and I rubbed her belly, the baby seemed to slip into a contented sleep. Or at least, a period of not moving. I went and washed my hands (Starfire hates the cream on the bed sheets) and change into track pants to sleep in, while Starfire fixed her nightgown.

When I got back, Starfire'd moved the tray so it was sitting in the spot I'd vacated, so I could crawl into bed beside her. I sat with my back on the head of the bed, propped up with pillows and lifted an arm invitation. Starfire lifted up off the bed in a float and moved until she was between my legs with her head on my chest so I could wrap my arms around her.

I smiled as I waited for her to get as comfortable as she could, knowing that as soon as she was (assuming she didn't have to rush off to the bathroom) she'd start eating her snacks again and wouldn't move. When she stopped wriggling, I lifted my head. "Okay, Gretch, movie please."

Of course, we only got to half way through before the romance got the better of her and Starfire tilted her head back to kiss me.

Might have had something to do with me slowly kissing her neck and rubbing her nipples through the silk of her nightgown.

We slid down the bed, Starfire shifting so we were lying on our sides facing each other. I lifted up onto an elbow so I could lean into her without her having to lie on her back (because that's just painful for her at this stage) and contently kissed her, my free hand running over her body to play.

It's better to let her take the initiative this late in the game. Her mood can change so damn quickly, from sexy to hurting, so it's healthier if she calls the shots. If she wants sex, she'll roll over to spoon and drape a leg over my hip in invitation. If she just wants kissing and touching, she'll stay like she is and I'll probably get a sympathetic hand job.

Everything's gentle. Soft touches, kisses along her neck, her silken nightgown slowly drawn up so I could kiss her breast. A hand trailing up her thigh to cup her buttock and squeeze, dragging her pelvis closer to mine, even if I do have to contort a little to get around her belly. I pulled her knee so it rested on my hip. It's all about making her feel good. She hummed at me, her hand already buried in my pants.

I kissed my way back up to her lips and attached our mouths, tasting her chilli popcorn on her tongue. If she was going to tease me, I'll tease her right back. I drifted my up her thighs until I could fondle too.

"You are teasing me," she whispered, her voice low and husky.

"Ya think?" I replied in between kisses. "As if you're not doing the same."

"Am not," she murmured.

"Are too."

"More."

I dropped my face to her neck and gave her a love bite. "M'lovely, if you keep doing that, I'm not going to be any use to you."

"Hmmm," she moaned as she pulled her hand from my track pants. She floated upright, dragging off her nightdress before she twisted around. I quickly divested myself of my pants, waiting until she was backed into me and lying on the bed again.

It's a nice, intimate position this one. I'm curled around her back, nice access to the boobies. She's half turned into me, her leg over my hip for access. She gathered her hair away from her shoulders mostly so I don't drown in her hair but also so I can kiss her neck as I love her. It's not a deep and fast position, it's slow and gentle and it gets us there. More importantly, it's not uncomfortable for her.

I ran my lips over her shoulder, nipped her with my teeth as I moved. Hand cupped her breast, tweaked and played, she gripped my hip with her fingers.

"I love you," she whispered, breathless.

"I love you too," I murmured in reply.

The movie played all the way to the end, but we were too busy by that stage to notice.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_Grayson made an appearance (with permissions), wooing his lady. Gretchen loves the attention._

_Also, no 'ewwww pregnant sex'. It's some of the best sex you can get, even if you do have to be more creative to get it on. My second child's birth was brought forward by a midnight rendezvous, so to speak, so it works to bring on labour. By the time you get to where Starfire is, you'll try ANYTHING to get the ball rolling. Usually kicks in about seven months, you start feeling good, then you start feeling like a whale and want it out._


	16. Welcome

_**Author's note:**_

_Dick, age 26.  
><em>

_You asked for it._

* * *

><p><strong>Welcome.<strong>

"So, the clerk was positive on his description?" Can asked.

"He's with the sketch artist now," I said, my feet up on my desk, juggling Can's stress balls as we conducted our brainstorming session, otherwise known as Can checking up to make sure we're all doing our job. "But he's not wavered in the description."

She readjusted her position as she sat on the back of her desk regarding us. "That's good at least."

I nodded, leaning back on my chair, my eyes watching the balls. "New gang cropping up. Calling themselves 'The Hoodies'."

Hackle rolled his eyes. "So original."

"Because of those black hoodies they wear, I bet," Taylor mentioned, chewing on his pen, a bad habit he's been developing.

"Do they have much presence?" Can asked, giving me one of 'those' looks. As in, does Nightwing have any intel?

I half smiled at her. "Not yet. And I doubt they will. They seem to lack formal leadership. Just kids running amok. Average age seems to be fifteen. They just need to be scared straight and not drawn into a bigger gang."

"Matter for juvey, then," Taylor said.

"It would be," I said. "If one of their ringleaders hadn't decided to up the ante and go for murder one. Judging by the description the clerk has given us, I don't think the ringleader will be too difficult to track down. Once the sketch is done, I'll put out a BOLO for him. Maybe we can get the rest of the kids back on track if we arrest the ringleaders."

Can nodded, then looked at Hackle. "Paperwork on the Burns case?"

"Just about done," he reported. "Still waiting on a few witness signatures. I'll chase them up."

Can looked at me next. "Jefferson?"

"Waiting on Judge sign off on the warrant to search his premises. I was promised it in an hour. I'll follow up after this."

Can turned her eyes to Taylor. "And the—"

My phone rang as Can was talking, and since she wasn't talking to me I leant over to grab it, switching so I was juggling one handed, expecting it to be a court clerk regarding my warrant. "Grayson."

"Dick—"

My eyes widened and all three balls plopped to the ground as I surged to my feet. Gretchen.

"— her water has broken."

She's early. Five weeks early. "Contractions?"

Behind me, Can dropped into silence, turning her head toward me.

"Currently two minutes apart," Gretchen said.

_What_? How did it get so advanced? "I'm on my way," I blurted, already snatching my gear from my desk. I thunked the phone down and grabbed my backpack from under my desk. "Gotta go."

"Kory?" Can asked.

Keys, keys, where the fuck are my keys? Oh. Pocket… Right. "Yeah. Water broke."

Hackle's grinning at me. "Good luck, dude."

"Yeah," Taylor echoed with a broad smile.

"Give her our best," Can said. "I'll inform the Captain that your leave's starting early."

I was flustered. "Thanks. Ahh… the warrant—"

"We'll take care of it," Can said and shooed me with her hands. "Go."

I threw the backpack on my back, kissed Can's cheek and bolted for the stairs, the elevator too slow. I'm not sure how I made it through to the Nightwatch without killing myself, speeding on my bike as I was, the fifteen minute trip taking me eight minutes. The teleporter activated within moments of me parking my bike and I flashed a smile at the camera.

"Star! Starfire!" I bellowed as I raced into our nefarious basement, taking the stairs two at a time. When I reached the top of the stairs and burst into the living room, Silkie launched himself at me, warbling frantically and then perched on my shoulder.

A groan of pain from upstairs. "_Diiiiick_!"

I was up there and in the bathroom before she even finished my name.

She was white as she could possibly get. She was bending over the bathroom vanity so her torso was almost parallel to the floor, her legs apart and her head hanging. She was naked, like she'd just had a shower, which she'd been having a lot of because they soothed aching muscles and the baby liked water. The inside of her legs were wet, where as the rest of her was not.

Silkie leapt from my shoulder to the vanity, put several of his legs on Starfire's arm and emitted a concerned warble.

"Star?"

She gave me a trembling smile underneath her arm. "My waters did the breaking."

My stomach dropped to my toes. "But… it's too early, isn't it?"

"I do not know. Human?"

Right on time for a human baby. I hesitantly approached her and put my hand on her back. "Contractions?"

She nodded and breathed out slowly. "They are coming very quickly."

I rubbed her lower back, little circles with the palm of my hand. "Why didn't you call me earlier?"

She groaned, leaning back into my hand, her head dropping down. She breathed, deep, controlled breaths in and out for at least thirty seconds then lifted her head again. "Dick, they arrived very fast. I did not expect it to advance so quickly."

My mind was completely blank. "Oh… oh… okay… um…"

"Sound the alert," Starfire suggested.

"Yes. Yes. Okay. Right." I headed for the door, leant out to call, "Gretchen, stork alert please," I glanced at the bag packed beside the door, then headed back to my fiancée.

Who was naked… I darted into our bedroom and headed for the closet, grabbing one of her maternity dresses, purple, simple spaghetti strap dress buttoned up at the front, and raced to the bathroom again.

She looked to be in the middle of a contraction, head down, shoulders hunched, her hips rotating in circles. My mind said it had been about a minute since the last one. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Back."

I stood behind her, placing both my hands on her lower back and rubbed in little circles, matching the motion of her hips.

She groaned, panted. Trying to be helpful, I grabbed her hairbrush while she recovered, ran it through her hair a few times, then braided it to the best of my ability, so it would be out of the way.

"So, this is it."

"Yes," she replied.

"I'm excited," I told her, kissing her shoulder, my fingers braiding.

"Me too."

"Little bit of work ahead first."

With a sigh, she nodded. "That was not unexpected."

"It will be over before you know it," I said, trying to sound confident.

When I was done braiding her hair, and we'd endured another contraction, she straightened and I lifted up her dress and she put both arms through the straps to pull it on.

"Can you make it to the teleporter?" I asked, pulling her dress down.

She sighed. "I will try."

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"No, that will be most uncomfortable." She staggered toward the door. "Do not forget the bag."

"I got it," I said, hovering around her nervously.

She only made it as far as the door to our room before her hand shot out and she gripped the frame. "_G'tuk de X'hal, mina'a'eta dos fyrareck." _An actual god curse from my Star, in detail… she must be in a bit of pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked, shouldering the bag before I rubbed her back.

"They are very close together."

"How'd this advance so fast?"

She gasped. "I have… all day… and…" She stopped talking and just panted and I waited out the contraction with her. She groaned and released the door. "I have had mild pains all day, but there was no regularity. I had a shower to try and ease, but my waters broke and then they started coming very fast."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did not think it was anything."

"Float. I'll pull you."

She shook her head. "Energy flow cut."

She'd warned me that would happen, it was so their strength didn't damage their children during birth. "Damn… okay…"

She waddled for the stairs. "Let us get down there between contractions."

We paused at the top to soldier through a contraction, then Starfire scrambled down the stairs as fast as she could before the next. Which wasn't that fast.

She groaned and turned, her feet at the base of the stairs and her hands against the fourth stair. I slipped around behind her to rub her back again. "Breathe, Star, you need to remember to breathe through them."

She nodded, her head hanging and I heard her control her breathing. I bent over, watching her face, desperately wishing there was a way I could take this pain away from her.

"Can you move?" I asked as her shoulders relaxed.

Starfire shook her head. She braced her legs apart, bending her knees a little.

Unnerved, I raised my head. "Gretchen, open the teleporter. Beep Doctor Mid-Nite and Argent. We're going to need some help." I lifted my hands from Starfire's back, meaning to go and open the gym door so they could get through but Starfire wailed. "Need contact."

My hands went straight back on her. "Okay."

She groaned, just a little sound, and sank down on her knees, bracing against the stairwell with her forearms. I dropped down with her. Starfire sighed. "So quick."

I rubbed her back in long strokes with one hand, the other concentrating around the small. "It's okay. Quick is good."

"Hurts."

"I know, beautiful."

She took a deep breath, then held it and I felt her stiffen. Her breath became gaspy and uncoordinated.

"Breathe," I murmured, leaning into her, trying to give her what support I could. "Remember your exercises.

"Nightwing?" I heard Argent call.

I lifted away from Starfire. "Up here!" I bellowed. "Base of the stairs!"

Argent was up with us within moments, dumping a bag on the floor as her hands on Starfire's belly to judge the strength of the contraction. "How close?"

"Regular at sixty seconds," I answered because Starfire couldn't.

"Length?"

"About the same."

"Starfire, do you have the urge to push?"

She shook her head.

"Water break?"

"Yes."

"Star, when this contraction's over, I'm going to have a look and possibly a feel. Okay?"

Starfire nodded again.

"Nightwing, you'll need to move. Try getting in between her and the stairs so she can lean on you."

"Okay," I said, glad for some sort of instruction. I was at a complete loss of what to do.

We waited until the contraction was over. Starfire lifted away from the stairs long enough for me to slip in there and then draped herself against me while I hugged her, my knees on either side of her hips for support. I looked over her shoulder to view Argent hiking Starfire's dress up a little.

Returning my attention to my girl, I kissed her cheek, then her lips. "You're doing great."

She moaned and sighed at the same time, her eyes closed. She rested her forehead against my neck and gripped my upper arms. As much as she said her powers were nullified by labour, I really hoped it was true or I'd end up with broken arms next contraction. Starfire stiffened and shuddered.

"Sorry, Star," Argent murmured.

"Hello?" a voice called.

"Doctor Mid-Nite," Argent called and moved away. "I'll be right back," she said to us.

"You okay?" I asked Starfire.

"Mmm."

"Comfortable?"

"Mmmm."

"Good."

"You?"

The staircase was pressed into my back, she was leaning on me heavily. "I'm fine. Don't you worry about me."

Starfire groaned, her grip on me tightening. I held onto her, giving her what comfort I could. I stroked her back, murmuring encouragement, reminding her to breathe.

Argent was back. "Nightwing, she's almost completely dilated. We're not going to be able to move her."

I stared at her. "Um…"

"Doctor Mid-Nite's gone back to the Watchtower to get J'onn to set up a few things, and then he'll be back. In the meantime, I'm going to set up some blankets to put under Star, then we'll turn her around so I can check baby positioning, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

Argent fussed around while we waited for that contraction to finish, before I lifted Starfire up so Argent could slip some protective blankets underneath her. Together, we helped Starfire turn, dropping us both down until she was squatting at the base of the stairs and I was sitting up behind her so she could lean back into me. I put my arms under hers, interwove our fingers so she could grip.

Argent pressed on Starfire's stomach, moving her hands around so she could check positioning. "Everything looks good," she said, getting out a stethoscope to check the baby's heartbeat. "You're doing great. Baby sounds good."

Starfire made a relieved sort of noise.

"Thanks, Argent."

"Nervous, Daddy?" she asked, smiling at me.

"Yeah."

"She'll be fine. You're both doing great."

"It's very quick."

Argent shrugged. "It happens," she soothed. "It's quick, yes, but it often is after the water breaks. Fluid's clear, so that's great." She pressed her hands to Starfire's belly again. "You tell me if you feel the need to push."

Starfire nodded, then dropped her head back on my shoulder.

"How are we doing?" Doctor Mid-Nite asked as he dropped to crouch down beside Argent.

Argent rattled off a series of medical terms, to low for me to hear properly, but then I wasn't really listening.

I lowered my head so I could press my cheek to Starfire's, just waiting for the next contraction.

When it came, it seemed so much stronger than the previous ones. Starfire's entire body went taut, rigid. She stopped breathing, her teeth clenching. Her grip on my hands was stranglehold and I felt my bones move but I didn't care. She rose up a little, as though she could move away from the pain. As she rode out the last of the contraction, a groan, originating somewhere deep inside Starfire's body, so deep it didn't even sound like her, poured from her lips.

"It changed," she murmured when it was over.

"That's good," I said, flicking my eyes to Argent. "That's good, right?"

Argent nodded, bending down to have a look again. "It's good. Star, are you comfortable?"

Starfire nodded.

"If you feel the need to push, let me know. You'll need to lift up a little."

"Okay."

We endured several more of those intense, blue fingers and rigid body contractions while Dr Mid-Nite set up a stretcher on the floor. The strength of the contractions seemed to drain Starfire, she leant against me heavily when they were over, sweat beading at her temples.

When the next one came, instead of rearing away, she gripped my hands tight and curled forward. She was completely stiff, every muscle in her body working at once.

Argent dropped so she was lying on her side, her hands between Starfire's legs.

"That's it," Argent crooned. "Big push."

My eyes widened. I so wasn't ready for this. It felt like we'd only just started. "Keep it up, Star," I whispered in her ear. "You're doing great. I love you so much."

No groaning this time, but as the contraction finished, Starfire gave a higher yell, not a scream but definitely a cry of pain. She sobbed and panted as she leant back against me, whimpering a little while I crooned in her ear.

We went through two more of those before Argent smiled at us. "Star, can I have one of your hands?"

I lifted an eyebrow as Starfire pried her fingers away from mine and Argent directed it downward.

"_Oh_!" Starfire said, her eyes snapping open and she shifted, tilting her head down.

"What?" I asked.

"Crowning," Argent said, smiling at me.

I jolted, caught between wanting to go see our baby, and supporting Starfire, especially since I was effectively trapped behind her.

"I have a mirror," Doctor Mid-Nite mentioned.

"Um. No," I said as Starfire leant back into me, taking my hand again. "It's fine."

"Oh," Starfire mumbled. "Did you—"

"No, m'lovely. I'm fine." I kissed her neck.

"Big pushes, Star," Argent said as the next contraction came.

She grunted, leaning forward again as she gripped my hands. I whispered words of encouragement in her ear while Argent paid close attention to what was happening between her legs.

"Oh!" Starfire murmured, dropping back into me.

"We have a head," Argent called and there was a flurry of movement from her.

Okay, that was it, I had to look. Keeping one hand on the middle of Starfire's back, I bent over, leaning around her.

A tiny little face blinked back at me, those magnificent green eyes of Starfire's set in a miniature, black fuzz covered head. My entire body went numb. I didn't know what I felt, or could feel, I couldn't see anything else other than that little face. My child. "Oh."

"Okay, Nightwing, undo the front of Starfire's dress. Next contraction, and the baby'll be out, and it'll be up on Star's chest."

I blinked at Argent, the moment broken. "Oh. Right." I straightened, pulled Starfire back so she was resting on me again and undid the top buttons of her dress. "Oh Star, they looked at me. Eyes are open and they're looking around. They're your eyes Star. Oh god, our baby is beautiful."

Starfire's eyelids flickered open, her eyes glazed as she looked at me. I kissed her fingers, excited and anxious all in one.

Her eyes clenched shut again, her body stiffening and I held my breath with Starfire.

There was a thin wail, Argent fussing for a moment before there was a tiny, gunk-covered baby resting on Starfire's chest.

"_Oh_!" Starfire cried, her voice and face filled with awe and I stared in wonder. Starfire released my hands, both hands cradling the tiny mewing newborn to her. We sort of folded backward, my back hitting the stairs before we slumped at the base of them.

I couldn't stop staring. The baby was bloody, covered in goo, and making pitiful mews and cries, and yet they was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Tiny unfocussed emerald eyes, this little squashed up nose, a mop of black hair, pink lips.

Starfire tilted her head back to rest it on my shoulder. "A girl," she breathed, her eyes shining.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from that little form.

A daughter.

I'm a Dad. A father…

That tiny bundle of perfection nestled in Starfire's arms, is mine.

There are no words for this.

"Oh… wow…"

Together, we checked out the ten tiny toes, ten fingers, the mop of black hair. My hair. Starfire's eyes. Two ears. Everything in the right place. Nothing abnormal about my daughter, she was perfect. The best of both of us.

Argent placed something in my hands. "Nightwing, you need to cut the cord."

"Huh?" I asked, peering at the surgical scissors that had magically appeared in my hands.

Argent's smile was knowing, smug and tender all at the same time as she showed me what to do with the cord. I cut it and then went straight back to staring at my little daughter.

Her tiny little fingers curled around Starfire's index finger. She blinked slowly, yawned and Starfire crooned at her. "Is she not adorable?"

"Yes."

"Hello, little one," Starfire cooed. "Hello, my lovely little one."

I rested my hand on our daughter's head. "Oh, Star, she's gorgeous."

Argent was back between Starfire's legs, working and checking things, but her movements didn't break the enthrallment of the tiny little baby. Starfire gave a little grunt, wrinkled her nose.

"Just the placenta," Argent murmured. "Well done, Star."

I kissed Starfire's neck, her cheek, her temple. "Star, you were amazing. Look what you did."

"Our little Mar'i." She turned her head. "Yes?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Mar'i snuggled her cheek against Starfire's bare breast, making murmuring noises, her little fingers flexing, then curling. Starfire wiped at her face, gentle little motions, just to clean her off a little.

There was a hesitant warble from above us, Silkie watching with big eyes, and I smiled at him. "C'mon, buddy, come see what Momma did."

I was aware of Argent getting up off the ground, leaning over to check our daughter, before she gave us a little space as Silkie cautiously crept down the stairs. He put his little legs up on my shoulder and peered over, sniffing. He lifted his head, looked at me, looked at Starfire, then peered down at Mar'i again.

I patted his head. "It's okay, buddy, she'll be a good playmate for you when she's older. You get to watch out and protect her too."

"Smile," Argent called.

Starfire and I looked up at her and smiled, just in time for the camera to click, without a flash.

"Baby's first photo," she said as she lowered the camera. "We'll be just over there, we'll give you a few minutes before we move you, okay?"

"Thank you, Argent," Starfire murmured, looking back down at our daughter.

I rubbed Starfire's shoulder, just content to have her leaning against me. "Well… that was quick."

She giggled, dropping her head back. "Yes, very."

I rubbed my hands along the outside of her arms, just watching them both.

"Richard?" Starfire asked.

I swallowed, the use of my name, the sight of them both affecting me more than I thought it would. "Yes, beautiful?"

Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Would you like a cuddle?"

My breathing turned shallow, my hand itching to take my daughter, but I didn't want to interfere with Starfire's bonding moment. All that work, it didn't seem right to take the baby from her so quickly. But I wanted that cuddle, that moment to greet her. "Can I?"

Starfire's smile was beautiful, serene. "Of course you can."

She sat up so I could slip out from behind her to kneel at her side. Argent placed a blanket in my arms so we could wrap Mar'i and then the little bundle of joy was in my arms, her head resting in the crock of my elbow.

"Hello, Mar'i," I murmured and kissed her gunk covered forehead. "I'm your daddy."

Mar'i's emerald eyes blinked at me and she made a little noise.

Starfire's fingers fluttered around the blankets around our daughter and I had to look up at her. "Thank you," I whispered, completely overwhelmed. "Oh Starfire, thank you."

She pressed her hand to my cheek and drew me forward so we could kiss. She sighed as she moved back, grimacing.

Concerned, I asked, "You okay?"

She nodded, frowned and shook her head. "I feel strange."

Worried now, I looked up and down her, then flicked my head over to Argent who was talking quietly with Doctor Mid-Nite about moving Starfire. "Um… Argent?"

Argent turned her head and looked at me inquiringly.

"Is there supposed to be that much blood?"

Argent frowned as she dropped down to her knees in front of Starfire, whose eyes were glazed. Her frown deepened, then she looked over at Doctor Mid-Nite. "Doctor?"

Doctor Mid-Nite was straight over, an expression of concentration on the lower part of his masked face as he looked Starfire over and checked her vitals. "We need to move her," he said after a moment.

"What's wrong?" I blurted.

"Can't say," Argent murmured. "Just need to get her to the Watchtower. Starfire, I'm going to lift you, just lie back and try to relax. Nightwing and the baby will be right behind us."

I scrambled to my feet, Silkie still on my shoulder as I clutched my daughter, getting out of Argent's way. "Should I page Raven?" I asked as Argent fashioned a stretcher beneath Starfire with her powers and lifted her onto the real one. Since Raven'd had a baby only a few weeks ago, we all sort of agreed that she didn't need to be present for the birth, just contacted if there was an emergency. And Argent and Doctor Mid-Nite had been doing all the pre-birth care (and post-birth) on both of them anyway.

I watched as Starfire was draped on the stretcher, then Argent lifted it with her powers. She chewed her lip. "Um…"

"I'm paging Raven," I said, deciding for her. "Even if there's nothing she can do, she'll have my head if I don't."

Argent nodded. "We need to move."

"Dick?" Starfire called as they wheeled her toward the teleporter.

"Right here," I replied, grabbing the previously discarded bag by the stair. "Gretchen, enable teleport to Watchtower please. General alert to immediate family members, priority alert to Raven please."

"At once," Gretchen replied.

"House on lockdown as we go. I have Silkie."

"Of course."

I hurried down the stairs after Starfire, Argent and Doctor Mid-Nite, reaching the bottom of the stairs just as they pushed Starfire through. Starfire cast me a panicked sort of look, but I was pretty sure that was because she didn't want to be far away from Mar'i. Not that I blamed her.

They were already racing away as we exited the teleporter.

So many faces. Everyone was around, so many Justice League members. What, had they all just been _standing_ there waiting for us to arrive? Did none of them have work to do?

Some of them clapped, some of them watched Argent and Starfire with concern and a lot of the women were looking at me with hungry faces. I caught a glimpse of my girl through the crowd of people as Argent hurried her to the medical bay. Starfire looked like she'd fainted.

I barely got to take two steps into the Watchtower before people were accosting me for information. Boy or girl, what was wrong with Starfire, why were they running so fast, can I hold the baby.

Silkie snarled on my shoulder, his whole body shuddering. He'd been overprotective for months, I was half afraid he'd mutate again. Which would be good, because I needed to get through to go after Starfire. Mar'i needed to be checked too.

Hands and reaching, cooey women wanting to touch. I cursed and curled my body around my daughter. "Get out of my way!"

"The next person who attempts to touch my _g'tookabunglorf_ will feel the sharp end of my _soral_!" Galfore bellowed over the top of all the talking around me. "If you are not family, be gone!"

Rather pleasing to watch them scatter. Everyone retreated except for Galfore and Flash, who was eyeing off Galfore, making sure he wasn't about to be attacked.

Galfore hunkered down in front of me on one knee as he regarded the bundle in my arms. Silkie hissed at him.

"Be still, little protector," Galfore said and held up his hands. "I only wish to observe."

I managed to muster up a smile and angled my precious bundle toward him so he could see. "It's a girl."

Galfore's expression softened and he smiled. "A girl. Glorious." He reached forward a big hand, tucking the blanket around Mar'i more securely. Mar'i blinked at him. "She has Koriand'r's eyes."

I looked down at my daughter, still unable to believe it. "We've called her Mar'i."

Flash peered around Galfore's bulk. "Congrats dude," he said, grinning, before it faded. "What's wrong with Star?"

I panicked a little. "Not sure."

Galfore took my bag from me as he stood. "We must go, then," he said. "Koriand'r would not want to be too far from her daughter."

We hurried to the medical bay, everyone giving us a wide birth now, nervous looks to Galfore all around. Which was good, I didn't feel like dealing with people.

Argent met us at the door, looking grave. "She's haemorrhaged," she murmured. "Doctor Mid-Nite's dealing with it, Raven's on her way. Flash, we need her blood from the storage area please."

Flash nodded and vanished.

My heart thumped in my chest. "Blood?"

"Just a precaution." Argent looked down at my precious child. "I also need to check over Mar'i."

I shifted my grip on her and licked my lips.

"With you right there, of course," Argent said and gestured a door off to the left. "It's just the K injection, cord check and basic scoring. Five minutes and you can dress her."

"Argent!" Raven called, sweeping up the corridor behind us. Galfore stepped aside to let her pass. Raven swooped up to me, her hand resting on my shoulder. "What happened?" she asked Argent, her finger tips touching the blankets around Mar'i as she had a look.

"Haemorrhage," Argent said. "Placenta wall tore."

I shifted. "Is she okay?"

"I'll deal with it," Raven said, still looking at Mar'i. "She's beautiful, Dick. Congratulations." Raven kissed my cheek and then headed into the medical bay doors.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Beast Boy, with baby Joshua in arms and Cyborg and Sarah coming up the hallway. I waited for them, seeing their nervous faces, caught between excitement and worry as they looked from me to the swinging medical bay door behind me.

"Dick?" Cyborg called.

"A girl," I answered.

Relief and happiness for a moment, Beast Boy and Cyborg shared a high five while Sarah bounced up and down on the spot, clapping her hands.

"Nightwing?" Argent reminded me.

"Oh. Right. I'll be right back," I told the others.

I followed Argent into the small room, really not much, a medical bed against the wall, a cabinet full of medical gear. She'd already placed a newborn diaper on a bench and blankets to transfer Mar'i into.

"Not going to bath her," Argent said. "Just a little clean and a check. Put her down, if that's okay."

I gently laid her out, she squirmed and cried out as I did, my heart catching a little.

"That's good," Argent said and touched my arm. "She's okay, she's just fussing 'cause she likes snuggles."

I gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing."

She grinned at me. "Well, lucky for you, I do. Being the paediatrician and all."

Mar'i squirmed and kicked her little legs as Argent drew back the blankets. "Good girl," Argent crooned. "Aren't you just the darlin'est little thing?" Mar'i let out a wail, high pitched and calling and although I jolted, Argent just smiled. "That's it. Give those lungs a workout."

Argent did a lot of checks on Mar'i, most of it going right over my head, but she knew what she was doing and I trusted her. Argent picked Mar'i up, crooning to her as she placed her on the scales.

"Good size, Nightwing," she said as she took her readings. "Seven pounds, one ounce."

"Is she cold?" I fussed, worried.

"No," Argent replied. "Just wants her daddy." Another long moment of Mar'i's wails before Argent placed her back in the blankets and stepped back. "Okay, everything's perfect, you can dress her now. I'll head back into Starfire. We'll let you know as soon as possible."

"Is Star going to be okay?"

Argent patted my arm. "We'll do everything we can. Try not to panic yourself and snuggle your bubby."

"Thanks."

I stared down at Mar'i for a moment. "Um…"

"Gently does it, Daddy," Argent said with a smile. "But sink or swim time. Just don't pull the cord out, it'll fall out when it's ready."

I took a deep breath and took Silkie off my shoulder to place him on the bed. "Okay, Dick, you can take on criminals with one hand tied behind your back, you can put a diaper on your daughter." I grinned. "I have a daughter."

I wrestled with the diaper, trying to be as gentle with Mar'i as I could while Silkie watched me wide eyed. She mewed at me a couple of times, blinking with those big eyes of hers, but eventually I managed to get the diaper on.

"Okay there, man?" Cyborg asked from the door.

I glanced over my shoulder at him. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Ahh," Cyborg turned his head. "B, this is a job for you."

Beast Boy poked his head in. "New dad nerves?" he asked, before slipping into the room, passing Joshua to Sarah. "What's up?"

"Not like you're much better," I grumbled, standing aside so Beast Boy could get in.

"Mine's three weeks. I'm a pro… Hello there, cutie. Oh, look, Cy, she's got Star's eyes."

"Gorgeous," Cyborg said, his hand on my shoulder. "We're so proud."

Beast Boy chuckled. "Dick… the diaper's on backwards."

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"The tags stick to the front… it's got a _picture_ on the front. Even I could work that out."

"I… um…"

"Worried about Starfire?" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah."

"This here," Beast Boy said, gesturing Mar'i. "Best first daddy moment you can have. Try again."

I gave it another try, with Beast Boy's coaching, and managed to do it right. He talked me through putting the shirt on, and by then, I was remembering the things I'd been shown before when we'd gone to classes and I was able to wrap Mar'i up securely.

"Good job," Beast Boy said as I picked Mar'i up again, Silkie leaping from the bed to my shoulder again. "Got a good watchworm there."

I chuckled. "Yeah."

Sarah poked her head through the door. "Batman's here."

It wasn't just Batman. It was the entire Batfamily. Robin, Batgirl, Oracle, Selina and Alfred as well. I could see Superman and Superboy down the end of the hallway. Flash too. Galfore leant against a wall, one foot propped up as he regarded us. All watching and waiting.

"Um… hi," I said, looking toward the medical bay doors, hoping Raven would sweep through and rescue me from this. I felt terrible, Starfire and I should be introducing our daughter together, it wasn't right for me to take this away from her. Not with them all looking at us, eyes fixed on my daughter, all expecting to get introduced and have cuddles and…

It wasn't right. I couldn't do this without Starfire.

"I'm… ahh… just going to be in here," I said, stepping back into the small room I'd just come from and closed the door, locking it behind me. I took a deep breath and went to the bed, hoping up on it and lying down on my side so I could curl Mar'i against my chest. Silkie crawled onto the bed, curling up by my head and just watched us.

Of course, a locked door never stopped Flash, he just vibrated through the wall.

"Dude? Are you okay?"

"It's not right," I murmured as Mar'i curled her little hand around my finger. "I can't introduce her to them without Starfire."

"You know, a locked door won't keep the family at bay."

"Judging by the fact you're here, I guessed that."

"Your Dad's pissed."

"He'll get over it."

Flash walked over, pushed my legs aside so he could sit up on the bed too. "Star'll be okay."

I nodded. "Yeah. I just… this is important. Introducing Mar'i to family is something we have to do together. Wal, Star's only had one cuddle. A little cuddle. I don't want to pass our daughter around until Star's had her time."

"So, you're going to hoard her?"

"Yup. She's mine."

Flash leant over. "She's a cutie."

"You're not dating her."

"I have Jinx. Things are going well, but I'll check back in eighteen years."

I kicked his back.

Flash laughed. "Dude, I'm going to be the cool uncle, don't worry. I just think it's funny, she's barely twenty minutes old and you're already overprotective."

"I'm entitled."

Flash grinned at me. "Yup. You are." He hopped off the bed. "I'll go soothe the gathered horde. They can just deal."

I glanced over at the door, seeing Cyborg peering through the square window in it. "Thanks."

Mar'i yawned at me, her mouth opening and closing a few times, her little hand clutching my finger. "Yeah, Momma's coming, beautiful," I murmured, dropping my face down so it was right next to hers. "She'll be here soon."

I didn't fall asleep, but I lost myself in Mar'i's movements, her coos and sounds, the way she held my finger, the way she wriggled and blinked in the light. Watched as she closed her eyes, falling asleep within moments. So fascinating just to watch her, even as she slept. But it wasn't long before Raven was warping through the door.

I jerked my head up. "Starfire?"

"She's fine," Raven said, smiling at me.

"What happened?"

Raven sighed. "Throwback to the Psions, I think. Since the implantation was done so quickly, I think the placenta embedded too deep in the uterine wall, tore when it was coming out. Could be a hybrid thing too, I don't know. But she's fine and she's awake and wants her daughter."

"Mar'i wants her mom too," I said, sitting up and cradling Mar'i.

"Why are you hiding out?"

"I couldn't introduce Mar'i without Star. It wasn't right."

Raven nodded. "I'll warp you through to Starfire then, because you're going to get pounced on."

I smiled. "Thanks. C'mon Silkie."

Silkie clambered up on my shoulders again and I stood. Raven placed her hand on my chest and the world swirled.

"Dick," Starfire breathed.

I grinned, relieved to see her sitting up, even if she looked pale and weak. She sat in one of the beds, a blanket across her legs and a drip connected to her wrist. "Hey, are you okay?"

She smiled and held out her arms, I hurried to transfer our daughter to her. "I am now," she said, shuffling sideways to make room for me.

"Seven pounds, one ounce," I murmured, kissing Starfire's temple as I half sat on the bed beside her. Silkie crept down my arm again, licked Starfire and went to a corner down by her foot.

"We'll leave you alone for a while," Raven said, her hand on my shoulder and Starfire's leg. "I'll come back in periodically to check on you, but let us know when you're ready, there's a bunch of people waiting."

Starfire blinked. "Oh?" she asked and looked at me. "You did not tell them?"

"Well… sorta… I told Galfore, so the rest of them probably know by now, but only Beast Boy and Cyborg really saw her. And that was only 'cause Beast Boy had to help me with the diaper."

"Why?"

"'Cause I failed at diapers."

She giggled. "Poor Dick. Why did you not show her off like the proud father I know you are?"

I smiled. "I wanted to do that with you."

She cupped my cheek with one hand. "Thank you."

I leant in and kissed her. "No, m'lovely, thank you. You've made me so happy."

"She's so tiny," Starfire whispered, lightly touching Mar'i's sleeping face.

"She's perfect," I whispered.

Mar'i made this mewing noise, her eyes blinking open as she wiggled.

"Hello there," Starfire crooned, then gasped.

"What?" I asked startled.

Starfire carefully removed her hands only minutely away from the bundle. "She is happy."

My jaw dropped. Mari' was floating, only for a moment before Starfire cuddled her again. "Oh, she's going to be a handful."

We sat there for a while, just watching her. Starfire tried nursing, Mar'i nuzzled for a while, gave it a good go before she fell asleep. Not that there would have been much there yet, Tamaranians get Colostrum as well, the first super enriched milk that babies get to drink and they don't need a lot.

Finally, we let people in to visit. Batman, of course, was first. He swooped in, bearing down on us much like he does to criminals in alleyways and stopped at my side, pushing back his cowl as he looked down at my daughter.

Starfire beamed at him, and lifted Mar'i up.

I have never seen my father acting so gentle. Every moment, careful, controlled, his face awash with wonder as he had his first cuddle. Mar'i waved her little fists at him as Bruce tucked the blankets around her.

"She's beautiful."

I put my arm around Starfire and smiled. "Thank her Mom for that."

"Galfore said her name was Mar'i?"

Starfire nodded. "After Dick's mother."

Bruce echoed her nod, still staring. Selina crept up, peering around Bruce's arms at the little bundle and smiled at us. "Congratulations."

"Thanks."

There was a click, Robin grinning at us as he took a couple of photos. "Never seen him smile so much," he said to me with a wink.

More people crowding around now, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Sarah, Raven sat at the end of the bed with Joshua. Oracle smiled at me, Batgirl seemed indifferent and slightly confused. Flash leant against the wall at the door. Galfore filled a corner as he calmly waited to greet our daughter. Alfred stood quietly too, letting everyone gush and coo around Bruce as he held Mar'i and I watched Alfred's restrained longing.

With a smile and a kiss for Starfire, I got to my feet and carefully extracted Mar'I from a pouting Bruce's arms. I walked across the room and handed her to Alfred.

The butler's jaw dropped, his eyes overly wide, his usual stoic mask completely gone as his arms closed around the bundle protectively. "Oh…" he said, his voice shaking. "Oh… Dick…"

I smiled, placing my hand on Alfred's shoulder. "I've always thought of you as a grandfather," I said quietly, seeing tears well in the old man's eyes. "Greet your great granddaughter."

After everyone was gone, after everyone had greeted Mar'i and crooned over how cute she was we snuggled, the three of us and Silkie too, our new little family and I was still unable to believe it was real. It had to be some sort of fantastical dream I was experiencing. It had to be some sort of crime to feel this happy.

But we were. Happy. Just the Graysons.

Best. Day. Ever.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_There you go. I did it._

_Ugg, you Americans… Diapers… wow. It's called a 'nappy'. Geez._

_The reason I didn't want to do this is because it is rather a private moment. Plus… well… giving birth is essentially selfish. I have no clue what my husband experienced when he had to help me through. I spent most of my time with my eyes clenched shut, concentrating on my breathing and breaking his hand. And that was when I wasn't trying to get up and go home to run from the pain (yes, Kry totally pulled a 'Screw you guys, I'm going home' and had to be forced to stay in the room). _

_I soooo was not going to do it from Starfire's point of view._

_Birth and Labour can totally happen that quickly too. My first was over twenty four hours long from the time I felt the first contraction and recognised that I was in labour. My last? Two hours from the get go. Fucking breeze, no painkillers, woosh, waters broke, instant contractions! Baby. My sister-of-my-heart, her first birth was twenty minutes. She gave birth in the parking lot. Another friend gave birth in the laundry. Another one, their shower._

_Yes. Starfire would have haemorrhaged no matter what. You were warned._

_Colostrum is the clear substance women secrete after giving birth (sometimes before), because its a few days before the milk comes in. It's very rich in nutriants and babies only need a little. Midwives (in Australia) recommend, even if you don't plan on breastfeeding, to at least give the baby the colostrum because it's that rich in nutriants and antibodies.  
><em>

_Oh… Where Starfire said "It changed." She's going through transition. It's the moment where the contractions stop going across your stomach and start going down. You transition from 'active' to 'pushing'. It is the most painful thing you have ever experienced. This is the point you scream. Serious. You can be having the most mundane labour and you'll still scream at this point. Grunt and groan, you __**have**__ to make some sort of noise. It's hardwired into you. And want to kick your doctor in the face for telling you to keep it down. Fortunately, it usually only lasts a couple of contractions before you can start pushing (most of the time). And when you start pushing, you don't concentrate on the pain anymore. Transition, you just have to endure. _

_Also… Argent having Dick unbutton Star's dress. In Australia, it's customary to get the baby shoved at you. You deliver, the midwife helps with the shoulders and plops baby straight on your chest. They don't clean it, they don't do anything (as far as I'm aware), and it's just straight up. Skin to skin, it's one of the best things for baby (and for mum), helps breathing and circulation and all sorts of things. I don't know if it happens in America, it's one of those things that you usually only know about if you're a midwife or doctor or given birth. Unless there is a serious problem, the baby is never taken away until much later and mum is always the first to get a cuddle. The first Apgar test is done in mum's arms. Most of the time you're not even aware they've happened. _

_Again. Aussie. It may be different in America, but this is how I chose to write it. _

_So. Anyway. That's it. No more Outtakes._


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